_The dishonest Loue of Favstina the Empresse, and with what remedy
the same loue was remoued and taken away._
True and most holy is the sentence, that the Lady, Gentlewoman,
or other wyght of Female kinde, of what degree or condition
soeuer she be, be she fayre, fowle, or ylfauoured, cannot be
endued with a more precious Pearle or Iewell, than is the neate
and pure vertue of honesty: which is of sutch valour, that it
alone without other vertue, is able to render her that
glistereth in her attire, most famous and excellent. Be she more
beautiful than Helena, be she mightier than the Amazon, better
learned than Sappho, rycher than Flora, more louinge than Queene
Dido, or more noble than the best Empresse and Queene of the
worlde, or be she full of any other vertue, if she want the name
of chast, shee is not worthy so mutch as to beare the title of
honour, nor to be entertayned in honest company. Yee shall
peruse hereafter an history of a Countesse of Celant, that was a
passing fayre Dame, singularly adorned with Nature's gifts. She
was fayre, pleasaunt, amiable, comely, and perchaunce not
altogether barrayne of good erudition and learninge: she could
play vpon the instruments, sing, daunce, make and compose witty,
and amorous Sonets, and the more her company was frequented, the
more amiable and gracious the same was esteemed. But bicause she
was unshamfast and lesse chaste, she was voyde of honest
regarde. Sutch as bee dishonest, do not onely hurt themselues,
but gieue cause to the common people to mutter and grudge at
their parentes education, at their husbands gouernment and
institution of their Children, causing them most commonly to
leade a discontented and heauy lyfe. Thinke you that Augustus
Cæsar (albeit he was a victorious Emperour, and led a triumphant
raygne) liued a contented life when he saw the two Iuliæ, one of
them his daughter, the other his Niece, to vse them selues like
common strumpets, constrained through their shameful acts to
pin, and close vp himselfe, shunning the conuersation of men,
and once in minde to cut his Daughter's Vaynes to let out hir
Lusty bloud? Was not he wont (the teares trickling downe his
Princely Face) to say, that better it was neuer to haue children
and to be deade without them, than to haue a fruteful wife and
children so disordred? He termed his Daughter to be a Carrion
lumpe of fleshe, full of stenche and filthinesse. But if I list
to speake of women of this age, from noble to vnnoble, from an
Emperor's Daughter to a Ploughman's modder, whose liues do frame
after Iulia hir lore, my pen to the stumpes would weare, and my
hande be wearied with writing. And so likewise it would of
numbres no doubt in these dayes that folow the trace of Lucrece
line, that huswifely and chastly contriue the day and nightes in
pure and Godly exercise. But of the naughty sorte to speake,
(leauing to voyde offence, sutch as do flourish in our time)
I will not conceale the Empresse Messalina, that was Wyfe to the
emperour Claudius, not only vnworthy of Empresse degree, but of
the title of Woman: who being abused by many, at length arriued
to sutch abhominable lust, as not contented with dayly
adulterous life, would resort to the common stewes, where the
ruffians and publike harlots haunted, for little hire, and there
for vilest price with eche slaue did humble herselfe: and at
night not satisfied, but weared, returned home to hir Palace,
not ashamed to disclose hir selfe to any that list to looke vpon
hir: and for victory of that beastly game, contended with her
lyke. But not to say so mutch of hir as I finde in Plinie his
naturall history, in Suetonius, and Cornelius Tacitus, I leaue
hir to hir selfe, bycause I haue made promise to remember the
dishonest loue for example sake, which I read of Faustina, whose
beauty of al Writers is vouched to be most excellent, if
excellency of good life had thereunto ben coupled. She was the
daughter and wyfe of two holy and vertuous Emperours, the one
called Antonius Pius, the other Marcus Antonius. This
M. Antonius in all vertuous workes was perfect and Godly, and
singulerly loued his wife Faustina, and although she was
infamous to the world, and a Fable to the people, yet he cared
not for the same, sutch was the passing loue hee bare vnto hir.
Leaue we to speake of hir beastly behauiour amongs the noble
sort, without regard vnto hir most noble husbande, and come wee
to treate of a certaine sauage kind of lust she had to one of
the Gladiatores, whych were a certaine sort of Gamsters in Rome,
which we terme to be Maisters of defence. She was so far in loue
with this Gladiator, as she could not eat, drink, or slepe, ne
take any rest. This Faustina was so vnshamefast, as not
regarding hir state, being as I sayde before the daughter and
wife of two most worthy Emperors, dysdayned not to submitte her
Body to the Basenesse of one of the vilest sort, a Rascal
Fencer, and many times would goe to Caieta, a Citie and hauen of
Campania, to ioyne hir selfe with the galye slaues there. Hir
husbande which loued her dearely, comfortying his feble louing
wyfe so well as he coulde, caused the best Physicians he could
finde, to come vnto hir for recouery of hir health. But all the
deuysed physike of the world was not able to cure her, she was
so louesicke. In the end knowing by long experience the fauour
and loue hir husband bare vnto hir, and knowing that nothing
could withdraw his continued minde, she tolde him, that al the
torment and payne shee sustained, was for the loue of a
gladiator, towards whom hir loue was so miserably bent, that
except she had his company, death was the next medicine for hir
disease. The good husband whych beyond measure loued his wife,
comforted hir with so louing wordes as he could, and bad hir to
bee of good cheare, promisinge hee would prouide remedy.
Afterwards consulting with a wise man a Chaldee born, opened
vnto him the effect of his wiue's disease, and how she was
louesicke with sutch a person one of the Gamsters of the City,
promising great rewardes if he could by his secretes serche out
redresse to saue hir life. The Chaldee could tel him none other
remedy, but that he must cause the Gladiator to be slaine, and
with the bloud of him to anoint the body of the Empresse, not
telling vnto hir what the ointment was: which don, that he must
goe to naked bed to hir, and do the act of matrimony. Some
Historiographers do write, that the Chaldee gaue him counsell,
that Faustina should drinke the bloud of the Gladiator, but the
most part, that hir body was bathed in the same. But how so euer
it was, it would haue cooled the hottest Gentlewoman's stomack
in the world, to be anoynted with like Salue. To conclud the
Gladiator was slayne and the medicine made and applied to the
Pacient, and the Emperour lay with the Empresse, and begat hir
with childe. And immediatly she forgot the Gladiator, neuer
after that tyme remembring him. If this medicine were applied to
our carnall louinge dames (which God defend) they would not
onely follow Faustina in forgetfulnes, but also would mislike
hir Phisike: and not greatly regard the counsell of sutch
doctours. By meanes of this medicine and copulation was the
Emperour Commodus borne, who rather resembled the Gladiator than
his Father: in whose breast rested a storehouse of mischyefe and
vyce, as Herodian and other Wryters plentifully do wryte.