Naturalists tell us that the _Aye-aye_ is a small animal of Madagascar,
with sharp teeth, long claws, and a tail; which eats whatever it can
grab, and says nothing day or night but _aye-aye_. Now, we find that,
AGASSIZ to the contrary notwithstanding, this strange and not very
useful animal is indigenous to the State of Pennsylvania. It especially
frequents Harrisburg; and may be seen and heard any day there, in the
Senate or House. Being an active member of that House, your
correspondent has been present during the passage of three hundred bills
within a week or two, in about one hundred and ten of which he had some
personal interest.
Lifting his eyes one day from his newspaper, when the Speaker took the
vote on an "Act to amend the Incorporation of the City of Philadelphia,"
which your correspondent happened to know included the presentation of a
three-story brownstone front to each of a committee of six members of
the House, he found there was not one member in his seat; but, in the
place of a few, there was a company of these remarkable _Aye-ayes_,
responding duly to the call for a vote; but never a _no_ among them. No,
no!
Now, your correspondent holds the deliberate opinion that, in several
respects, these aforesaid small animals of Madagascar might be an
improvement upon the average Pennsylvania legislators. And, if your
correspondent had to do with getting up the other one hundred and ninety
bills, as he did the one hundred and ten, all right: Otherwise, _not_.
How does PUNCHINELLO regard it?
Yours, LEGISLATOR.
* * * * *
An Augean Job.
PUNCHINELLO has telegraphed to Governor GEARY his approval of the
"Sewage Utilization" bill at Harrisburg, on one condition: that the
first piece of work be finished up by the members of the Pennsylvania
Legislature with their own hands; that work to be, to make up into
_decent_ manure, _deodorized_ and _disinfected_, all bills passed at the
late session of their House and Senate. Since, however, complete
deodorization is probably _impossible_, PUNCHINELLO advises also that
the said members be required to cart all their stuff out to the Bad
Lands of Nebraska, and remain there to make the best use of it; or else
make a contract with Captain HALL to ship it and them to the Arctic
regions at once.
* * * * *
On the Finances.
Says Crispin, "Did not somebody say it was BOUTWELL in the Treasury now?
A great mistake. About well, to be sure! When the newspaper men have
111-1/2 of gold, and I haven't a round dollar! Where did they get it?
And then the legal tender question. I never asked but _one_ tender
question in all my life, and that was to SUSAN and she said, Yes. And
then we were legally married. Nobody ought to ask such questions _out
loud_; it's not _decent_. And _fine answering_ an't much better.
Financiering, is it? Ah! well. _Specious assumption_, too; but that
requires brass, and I want _gold_. Meantime, who's got a twenty-five
cent note?"
* * * * *
Massachusetts Flats.
Massachusetts must abound in Flats. Its Legislature is annually agitated
from the sands of Cape Cod to the hills of Berkshire over the question.
It is said to be wisdom to set a rogue to catch a rogue. Is it equally
so to set a flat to catch one?
* * * * *