reine, à la printanière. Croquettes d’huîtres, escallopes de ris de
veau aux champignons, cotelettes d’agneau aux petits pois. Dinde
farçi à la Périgord, pâté de gibier à l’Anglaise, langues glacées,
jambons glacés, poulets rôtis aux cresson, ptarmigans rôtis, pâté
de foies gras aux truffes, boudins de homard à la Belle Vue, aspic
de crevettes à la Russe, mayonnaise de saumon. Salades de homards:
Gelée à la Lorne, gelée à l’Eugénie, gelée à la Macédoine, crème
à la Sicilienne, crème de fraises, bavarois d’ananas, gâteau de
millefeuilles, meringue à la Christophe, petites meringues à la
Chantilly. Glaces: Crème d’ananas, eau de cerises.
(_d_) Consommé à la d’Esclignac; purée de perdreaux à la crème.
Côtelettes d’Agneau aux concombres; suprême de poulets aux truffes.
Langue de bœuf garnie d’Ecrevisses; pâté de coq de bruyère; balotines
d’Agneau; poulets rôtis aux cresson; galantines de volaille;
mayonnaise de homard; jambon en salade. Petits gateaux à la Génoise;
macédoine de fruit à la gelée; pain d’Abricots au noyau; Charlottes à
la Bohémienne; pâtisseries meringuées. Eau d’Ananas; crème framboise;
crème de vanille.
_Afternoon Dance._--The refreshments usually provided for an
afternoon dance would be brown and white bread and butter, pound
and plum cakes, sponge fingers, and biscuits. Sandwiches of various
kinds are also much appreciated, particularly by guests coming from a
distance, and of these perhaps the following are as nice as any: ham
and tongue, lettuce and anchovy (a little of the latter), or delicate
slices of hard-boiled egg and lettuce, with a touch of anchovy
added. Fruit knives and forks should be laid in each plate ready for
using for peaches, pineapples, &c. Grapes should be among the fruit
provided. Ices, iced coffee, and various “cups” are generally seen at
afternoon dances, such as champagne or claret. There should be 2 or 3
dishes of each kind of refreshment at intervals down the table. (F.
Lilian.)
_Lawn Party._--It is usual to have hot tea, coffee, cakes, brown
bread and butter, fruit and cream, at a lawn party. Iced coffee is
not necessary, but much liked in hot weather. It is made as follows.
To 1 qt. very strong coffee add 1 pint cream and ½ pint milk, and
sugar to taste. Put all into a freezing tin, and freeze until a
little thick; serve in a silver kettle or soup tureen. (A. H.)
_Cinderella Supper._--(_a_) Watercress sandwiches, sardine
sandwiches, anchovy sandwiches, devilled eggs, salad, coffee jelly,
orange cream, sweet biscuits, sponge cakes, claret cup, lemonade
soup. (_b_) Boned turkeys, lobster salads, chicken sandwiches, shrimp
sandwiches, tongue sandwiches, veal croquettes, oyster patties. Ices,
jellies, and creams, claret cup, claret, and a good lemonade; also
some fruit and a selection of fancy confectionery such as will not
soil the glove; candied walnuts, plums, &c., are much liked. (_c_)
The great points to aim at in giving a Cinderella supper, as a sequel
to the fashionable Cinderella dances, are elegance and lightness,
combined with economy.
SUPPLEMENTARY LITERATURE.
Edward Smith: ‘Foods.’ London, 1880. 5_s._
Mrs. Loftie: ‘The Dining Room.’ London, 1878. 2_s._ 6_d._
John Perkins: ‘Floral Designs for the Table.’ London, 1877. 5_s._
‘The Book of Dinner Serviettes.’ London, 1876.
_THE DRAWING-ROOM._
The drawing-room is the scene of almost all social gatherings,
whether dancing, theatricals, games, or other amusements be provided.
=Etiquette.=--This chapter cannot commence more appropriately than
with a few remarks on the customs observed in society and the rules
which regulate visits and parties. To enter fully into all these
matters would occupy a very large amount of space. Those requiring
more detail cannot do better than consult the weekly pages of the
_Queen_, in which excellent journal often appear articles on the
latest fashionable customs, and where an inquiry from one in doubt is
sure to meet with a polite reply giving the necessary information.
_Styles and Titles._--It seems difficult to make it clear to the
understandings of many persons that it is incorrect, in speaking of
an earl’s, marquis’s, or duke’s daughter, to omit her Christian name.
They must know that she is habitually styled Lady Clara Vere, yet
they persist in calling her Lady Vere, as if she were a peeress or a
baronet’s wife, instead of a “lady in her own right.” Another equally
common blunder is to speak of a baronet’s wife as Lady Emma Jones;
if for purposes of identification it is necessary to mention her
Christian name at all, it should be as Emma Lady Jones, as nothing
but being the daughter of a peer higher in rank than a viscount gives
the right to be called Lady Emma. Again, it is impossible to persuade
some people that it is the sons of dukes and marquises only who are
called lords; they persist in imagining that because earls’ daughters
are styled lady, it is impossible that their younger brothers
should be only Hon. Mr. The title of dowager is another great
stumbling-block. In propriety it should only be borne by the mother
of the reigning peer or baronet. Should, therefore, a peer (let
us call him Earl of Brighton) succeed his father, his mother, the
widowed countess, should be styled the Countess Dowager of Brighton.
Should he, however, succeed to his uncle, brother, or cousin, that
relative’s widow would have no claim to the title of dowager, but
should be addressed as Mary, Countess of Brighton. It is a very
common saying that a woman may rise in rank, but can never lose what
she has once possessed; but, like many common sayings, this, though
the general rule, is not strictly accurate. A duke’s daughter takes
precedence far before the wife of a baron. Yet if she marry a baron
who is a peer in his own right (not merely a title of courtesy, such
as are borne by peers’ eldest sons), she at once, on becoming his
wife, loses her own rank, and has no precedence, save that of her
husband.
_Shaking hands._--You would not shake hands on being casually
introduced to a person altogether a stranger to you, but yet there
are so many occasions when it is both proper and correct to shake
hands on first being introduced, and the rule on this head is a very
elastic one. For instance, a host and hostess invariably shake hands
with every stranger introduced to them at their house. You would
shake hands on being introduced to the relatives of your relations by
marriage, such as your sister-in-law’s sister or your sister-in-law’s
mother; with your brother-in-law’s brother or father; with your
future husband’s uncle and aunt or cousins; with a brother or sister
or mother of an intimate friend; or under any similar circumstances.
If you do not shake hands on being introduced, ought you to do so
on departure? That depends. There are occasions when to shake hands
would be polite; and there are occasions when your hand would be _de
trop_. If you had enjoyed conversation to any extent with some one
to whom you had been introduced, and found you were getting on very
well, and had a good deal in common, you would naturally shake hands
in taking leave of each other; but if you had only exchanged a few
common-place sentences, a bow would be all that is necessary. The
lady usually takes the initiative, as she does with regard to bowing;
but in reality it is a spontaneous movement made by both at the same
moment, as the hand ought not to be extended or the bow given unless
expected and instantaneously reciprocated. For a young lady suddenly
to offer her hand in farewell greeting to one not prepared for the
honour leads to an abrupt movement on the one part, and to a little
confusion on the other. Shaking hands on taking leave is with some
few people a graceful and pleasant fashion of saying good-bye. About
shaking hands with acquaintances at a dinner party, or at an evening
party, many are in doubt. If the dinner party is a small one, and
there is time to quietly shake hands with those you know, it would be
correct to do so; but if there were little time before dinner, and no
good opportunity for shaking hands, bows to acquaintances at distant
parts of the room, or when seated at the dinner table, would be
sufficient for the time being; while at an evening party it depends
upon your being able to get near enough to your friends to enable you
to do so. Having once shaken hands with a person, you are of course
at liberty to repeat the civility whenever you may happen to meet,
unless a decided coolness of manner warns you that a bow would be
more acceptable than a shake of the hand.
_Letter Writing._--To commence a letter to a comparative stranger,
or to a person with whom the writer is but slightly acquainted, on
any matter of interest, is the first difficulty to be got over. In
all communications with strangers, or almost strangers, it would be
correct to write in the third person. A very slight acquaintance,
however, or a faint personal knowledge, would authorise a letter
being written in the first person if it were to be of any length.
Notes are principally confined to the briefest of communications, as,
when they are lengthy, the repetition of the pronoun “she” and “her,”
“he” and “him,” become wearisome if not involved, to say nothing of
the possessive pronouns which are frequently brought into use, with
the addition of surnames. When it is imperative to write in the third
person, it is most desirable to construct each sentence with care
and with due regard to an extravagant use of pronouns, and never at
any time to resort to the vulgar expedient of attempting a sort of
compromise by making the initial letter of the writer, and of the
person written to, do duty for their respective surnames. To frame
a note without introducing “compliments” at its commencement is the
received mode of writing one. The subject under discussion does not
require this preliminary introduction, and it is best to embody it
in the opening sentence. There are few people careless or ignorant
enough to lapse from the third person into the first in the course of
a short note; but still it is worth guarding against. To turn from
notes to letters, again it is observable that a cramped style, or a
small Italian handwriting, are no longer in vogue, and, when seen,
appear very much out of date. The prevailing style of writing is bold
and free, the characters very upright, and tall toppling “l’s” and
long-tailed “g’s” have quite disappeared from letters in general;
a free use of capitals is also indulged in, which gives a dash of
originality and spirit to a letter when not overdone. Many gentlemen
and a few ladies affect a literary style of letter writing--that is
to say, a margin ¾-1 in. wide is left on the near side of the sheet
of paper, which gives rather an imposing look to it; but this is
only done when the letter is almost a note in the matter of length.
A strictly business habit, adopted for the convenience of being
copied by letter-press, by no means a fashionable one, is to write
on the first and third pages of a sheet of note paper, leaving the
second and fourth pages blank, or to write on the first and fourth
pages, leaving the other two; but some people fall into the mistake
of doing this under the impression that it is rather fine, whereas
it is very much the reverse. Some little care should be taken in
paragraphing a letter to avoid incoherency. Thus, a fresh line and a
capital should be allowed to each new subject. As much variety is
introduced into the letters of the present day as possible; thus,
should a sentence or a remark require to be referred to, the eye can
at once light upon it without re-reading the whole epistle. It used
to be an idea that to underline words in a letter was “missish” in
the extreme, and rather bad style than not: but now, if a writer
wishes to be very emphatic, or to call particular attention to any
remark, an additional stroke of the pen is not objected to; but it
is a liberty not to be taken when writing to those with whom one
is on ceremony. Another practice of the past, which is now happily
discarded, is that of crossing letters. Many people experience a
certain difficulty in the choice of a conventional term with which to
conclude a ceremonious letter, and it must be admitted that there is
not much variety at command, “yours truly,” “yours sincerely,” “yours
faithfully,” with the addition perhaps of the adverb “very,” being
the principal formulas in use; and it is on the whole immaterial
whether “truly” or “sincerely” is employed when writing to friends.
The affectionate expressions addressed to still dearer friends and
relations are beside the question, and yet many devoted husbands
make use of the words “yours truly” when writing to their wives, in
preference to any more affectionate phrase. By way of not concluding
a letter too abruptly, it is usual, before the words “yours truly,”
to add one or other of such phrases as these: “Believe me, dear
Mrs. Jones,” or “I remain, dear Mrs. Jones,” or “Believe me, dear
Mrs. Jones, with kind regards,” and this gives a certain finish and
completeness to a letter which would otherwise be wanting.
A few words as to the actual composition of a letter. It should
always be borne in mind that if a letter has a purpose, a reason,
or an object for being written, this fact should not be lost sight
of, or overweighted with a mass of extraneous matter. Again, it is
idle to devote the first page of a letter to trivial excuses for not
having written sooner, when no particular reason existed why a still
longer delay in writing might not have been allowed to elapse, if
it suited the convenience of the writer. Of course, when a letter
requires an immediate answer, it is then a matter of politeness
to give the reason for the omission, but this should be explained
without circumlocution, and other matters should at once be referred
to. A want of punctuation in a letter will often cause a sentence
or paragraph to be misunderstood, and made to convey the reverse of
what was intended. Notes of interrogation should not be omitted from
a letter when questions are asked, though many consider it a waste
of time to make use of them. Notes of exclamation, when required,
materially assist the clearer understanding of a passage, which,
without them, might have a vague meaning. It is not the fashion in
these days to accuse oneself of writing a stupid letter, a dull
letter, or an uninteresting letter, one’s friends are only too likely
to take one at one’s own valuation, and to endorse the written
verdict; while the solecism of laying the blame of bad writing on
pens, ink, and paper is confined to the servants’ hall, where writing
materials are perhaps not always of the best quality, and seldom
ready to hand. In answering a letter, it is a great proof of a poor
imagination, besides being extremely tedious, when each paragraph
of the letter under treatment is minutely paraphrased. Questions
naturally demand answers, and important facts call for comment; but
trivial remarks and observations, perhaps pleasantly put, were never
expected to be returned to their author with poor platitudes attached
to them.
A postscript was formerly supposed to convey the pith or gist of
a lady’s letter--a poor compliment, it must be confessed, to her
intelligence; it is now considered a vulgarism to put P.S. at the
bottom of a letter containing the few last words, if something is
remembered when the letter is concluded that should have been said,
it is added without apology.
_Answering Invitations._--The extremely rude habit of not answering
notes as soon as they are received is generally done from idleness
and a habit of shirking trouble, though, as the answer must
ultimately be written, it is hard to see what exertion is saved by
not writing it at the proper time. Of the inconvenience to the sender
from not receiving the answer required, no one seems to think, and
there are some who labour under the delusion that it is “fine,” and
increases their importance, to keep people waiting. The inconvenience
to a hostess can hardly be exaggerated. Rooms are not elastic, and
having asked the proper number of people, she can ask no more until
she knows that some of those invited, as is generally the case in
most parties, cannot come. Every day she is kept waiting lessens
the time for inviting others; and then only those with whom she is
sufficiently intimate to give a very short invitation. Politeness
requires that an invitation to dinner should be answered _at once_;
if the servant waits, it should be returned by him; if it is left,
an answer should be sent at the earliest moment; if it is sent by
post, the reply should be sent by the next one. It is no more trouble
to write the answer at once than to wait for the next day. The only
valid reason that a lady can have for delay is when her husband is
out, and she is not quite sure about his engagements. Of course, if
he is only out for a short time it is permissible to wait till he
comes in; but if, as is sometimes the case, he is away from home
for a day or two, she should answer at once to that effect, and
write decisively on hearing his determination. Answers to At Homes,
even when they bear the request “R.S.V.P.,” need not be sent so
promptly; but as soon as it is quite clear to a lady that she cannot
go, it is courteous to say so. Answers to invitations to concerts,
private theatricals, or _any entertainment where the guests are to
be seated_, should be sent _immediately_, as it is necessary for a
hostess to know the number of chairs at her disposal. Answers to
wedding invitations should also be returned immediately.
The art of making excuses is one which people much in society find
it absolutely necessary to cultivate if they wish to retain any
command over their own time, movements, and even property. Tact,
or _savoir vivre_, is the key to this art, while frankness might
certainly be termed the lock in which to place the key when making
polite excuses. Frankness appeals both to the good sense and to the
common sense of the one to whom it is addressed; it softens the
refusal, of whatever character it may be; it gives the assurance that
no slight is intended. There is one stereotyped excuse, a “previous
engagement”; but between friends, and by those with whom frankness is
practised, this explanation is carried a step further, and the nature
of the previous engagement is mentioned, and the name of him or her
with whom it is made. A downright refusal savours of ungraciousness
and discourtesy; whereas a polite excuse is compassed by a little
judicious temporising, which in a way breaks the force of a refusal.
The difficulty of making polite excuses is sometimes increased when
a verbal invitation is given to a husband and wife, and they are not
able to consult as to whether they are unanimous in refusing it. The
way of extrication is for the one to refer to the engagements of the
other, and leave it in doubt for the moment.
Various excuses are permissible in answer to all save invitations
to dinner; this must be accepted, unless a bonâ fide engagement
or illness can be pleaded in excuse. Polite excuses to unwelcome
requests demand even more readiness of thought and speech, as
refusals to such, if not guardedly conveyed, are likely to give
offence, or to create an unpleasant feeling of annoyance.
=Dancing.=--_Preparing Floors._--(_a_) A good plan is to use a little
beeswax in preparing the floor for dancing. Unless it be perfectly
even, a carpenter must be called in to plane away any little
roughnesses, or to fill up interstices between boards with little
slips of wood. When quite smooth, some beeswax must be rubbed on to
one of the weighted brooms sold on purpose, and it must in this way
be thoroughly worked into the boards over every part of the room,
adding a little more wax when needed, but remembering that the less
wax and the more labour bestowed on the floor the better it will be.
When the desired polish is attained, sprinkle the floor all over with
finely powdered French chalk. Cover the waxed broom by tying a piece
of strong baize over it, and with this go up and down the room over
and over again, until the French chalk has been well rubbed over
every part; this will make the floor just right for dancing, and
prevent the possibility of any slight stickiness there might be from
the beeswax. As this process with the powdered chalk occasions a good
deal of dust, it should be all finished some hours before the room is
wanted, so as to give the dust time to settle. The room will require
thorough dusting, not forgetting the upper ledges of doors, mirrors,
&c., which are sometimes neglected, thereby causing a great clouding
of the atmosphere as soon as dancing begins. If the room be a large
one, it will take 2 men quite 2 days to polish the floor for the
first time, apart from any carpentering which may be necessary. Once
done, however, one day will suffice on any future occasion to put it
in good dancing order; going over every part just once, first with
the wax, and then with the chalk, will be quite sufficient.
(_b_) Powdered spermaceti answers well for polishing a floor, being
clean and easily used; it should be sprinkled over, then rubbed, or,
better still, is glided over by some one wearing thin shoes, each
board being taken separately.
(_c_) Wash the boards with milk, and when dry lay on French chalk
thinly but evenly all over the floor; then let 2 men scrub it hard
with brushes until all signs of the chalk disappear: ½ lb. chalk will
do for a large room, as if put on too thick it will soil the ladies’
dresses.
(_d_) The floor must first be planed as smooth as possible, all nail
heads hammered down, well sand-papered with coarse and then fine
paper, washed with new milk, and 6 hours after, dusted slightly with
French chalk. A rough floor may be transformed in an hour by scraping
up a common composite candle very finely, scattering it on the floor,
rubbing it into the wood with your boots, and then dusting it with
French chalk out of a flour dredger. White wax, and then French
chalk, is best treatment for a well-stretched drugget, and the chalk
will make an over-waxed parquet perfect.
_Scenting Rooms._--(_a_) When the roses fade, spread the leaves to
dry, taking away those which are decayed or discoloured; then, in
a jar, place alternate layers of rose leaves, lavender, scented
marjoram, lemon plant, or any perfumed plant, sprinkling each layer
with crushed bay salt, and pressing down very tightly. In the autumn,
when there is nothing more to add, strain away any moisture, turn
all out, and mix well; keep in a wide-mouthed jar with a lid, and
during the winter sprinkle occasionally with eau de Cologne or other
perfume; and, when wishing to scent the room, take off the lid.
(_b_) 1 lb. bay salt, 2 oz. saltpetre, both in the finest powder, a
handful of sweet bay leaves cut as small as possible; the same of
myrtle leaves, rosemary, lavender leaves, and lemon thyme in flower,
the rinds of 4 lemons cut as fine as possible, ½ oz. cinnamon, ½
oz. cloves, ½ oz. allspice, a large nutmeg in the finest powder, 1
oz. storax, 1 oz. bergamot, 1 oz. spirit of lavender, 1 oz. essence
of lemon, 1 dr. musk, 6 oz. powdered orris root. Put all these
ingredients into a jar with a lid that shuts very close, then add the
following flowers as you gather them: 3 handfuls orange flowers, 3 of
clove pinks, 2 of rosemary, 2 of lavender flowers, 2 of jessamine, 6
of rose leaves, and leaves of Aloysia citriodora. Stir it each time
fresh flowers are added. Gather 4 rosebuds early in the morning, and
put them at once into your jar. Do not leave any two leaves sticking
together, and pick out every piece of green. Syringa flowers are a
good substitute for orange flowers. If the pot-pourri becomes too
moist, add orris root powder and spices; if too dry, add bay salt and
saltpetre, only let every powder be as fine as possible, and well
mixed. It cannot be too much stirred at first, and, if well made,
will keep its perfume for many years.