if they are kind and soft; black, of a bright and gentle blackness, or
blue; merry and laughing, so gracious and keen of glance, like some
wherein the channels that give the spirits egress seem so deep that
through them we can see the very heart. Then the eyes lie in wait, just
as in war soldiers lurk in ambush; and if the form of the whole body is
fair and well proportioned, it attracts and allures anyone who looks
upon it from afar until he approaches, and, as soon as he is near, the
eyes dart forth and bewitch like sorcerers; and especially when they
send out their rays straight to the eyes of the beloved at a moment when
these are doing the same; because the spirits meet, and in that sweet
encounter each receives the other’s quality, as we see in the case of an
eye diseased, which by looking fixedly into a sound one imparts thereto
its own disease. So methinks in this way our Courtier can in great part
manifest his love for his Lady.
“True it is that if the eyes are not governed with skill, they often
most disclose a man’s amourous desires to whom he least would do so; for
through them there shines forth almost visibly that ardent passion which
(while wishing to reveal it only to his beloved) the lover often reveals
also to those from whom he most would hide it. Therefore he who has not
lost the bridle of reason, governs himself cautiously and observes time
and place, and abstains when needful from such intent gazing, sweetest
food though it be; for an open love is too difficult a thing.”
67.—Count Ludovico replied:
“Sometimes even openness does no harm, for in this case men often think
such a love affair is not tending to the end which every lover desires,
seeing that little care is taken to hide it, nor any heed given whether
it be known or not; and so, by not denying it, a man wins a certain
freedom that enables him to speak openly with his beloved and to be with
her without suspicion; which those do not win who try to be secret,
because they seem to hope for and to be near some great reward that they
would not have others discover.
“Moreover I have often seen very ardent love spring up in a woman’s
heart towards a man for whom she had at first not had the least
affection, simply from hearing that many deemed them to be in love; and
I think the reason of this was because such an universal opinion as that
seemed to her sufficient proof to make her believe the man worthy of her
love, and it seemed as if report brought her messages from the lover
much truer and worthier of belief than he himself could have sent by
letters and words, or another for him.
“Thus, this public report not only sometimes does no harm, but helps.”
The Magnifico replied:
“Love affairs that have report for their minister put a man in great
danger of being pointed at with the finger; and hence he who would
travel this road safely, must feign to have less fire within him than he
has, and content himself with that which seems little to him, and
conceal his desires, jealousies, griefs and joys, and often laugh with
his mouth when his heart is weeping, and feign to be prodigal of that
whereof he most is chary; and these things are so difficult to do, that
they are almost impossible. Therefore if our Courtier would follow my
advice, I should exhort him to keep his love affairs secret.”
68.—Then messer Bernardo said:
“There is need, then, for you to teach him how, and methinks it is of no
small importance; for, besides the signals which men sometimes make so
covertly that almost without a motion the person whom they wish reads in
their face and eyes what is in their heart,—I have sometimes heard a
long and free love talk between two lovers, of which, however, those
present could understand clearly no details at all or even be sure that
the talk was about love. And the reason of this lay in the speakers’
discretion and precaution; for without showing any sign of annoyance at
being listened to, they whispered only those words that signified, and
spoke aloud the rest, which could be construed in different senses.”
Then messer Federico said:
“To speak thus minutely about these precautions of secrecy would be a
journey into the infinite; hence I would rather have some little
discussion as to how the lover ought to maintain his lady’s favour,
which seems to me much more necessary.”
69.—The Magnifico replied:
“I think that those means which serve to win it serve also to maintain
it; and all this consists in pleasing the lady of our love without ever
offending her. Wherefore it would be difficult to give any fixed rule
for it; since in countless ways he who is not very discreet sometimes
makes mistakes that seem little and yet grievously offend the lady’s
spirit; and this befalls those, more than others, who are overmastered
by passion: like some who, whenever they have means of speaking to the
lady whom they love, lament and complain so bitterly and often wish for
things that are so impossible, that they become wearisome by their very
importunity. Others, when they are stung by any jealousy, allow
themselves to be so carried away by their grief that they heedlessly run
into speaking evil of him whom they suspect, and sometimes without fault
either on his part or on the lady’s, and insist that she shall not speak
to him or even turn her eyes in the direction where he is. And by this
behaviour they often not only offend the lady, but are the cause that
leads her to love the man: because the fear that lovers sometimes
display lest their lady forsake them for another, shows that they are
conscious of being inferior to him in merits and worth, and with this
idea the lady is moved to love him, and perceiving that evil is said of
him to put him out of favour, she believes it not although it be true,
and loves him all the more.”
70.—Then messer Cesare said, laughing:
“I own I am not so wise that I could abstain from speaking evil of my
rival, except you were to teach me some other better means of ruining
him.”
My lord Magnifico replied, laughing:
“There is a proverb which says that when our enemy is in the water up to
the belt, we must offer him our hand and lift him out of peril; but when
he is in up to the chin, we must set our foot on his head and drown him
outright. Thus there are some who do this with their rival, and as long
as they have no safe way of ruining him, go about dissimulating and
pretend to be rather his friend than otherwise; then if an opportunity
offers—such that they know they can overwhelm him with certain ruin by
saying all manner of evil of him (whether it be true or false),—they do
it without mercy, with craft, deception and all the means they know how
to invent.
“But since it would never please me to have our Courtier use any deceit,
I would have him deprive his rival of the lady’s favour by no other
craft than by loving and serving her, and by being worthy, valiant,
discreet and modest; in short, by deserving her better than his rival,
and by being in all things wary and prudent, abstaining from all stupid
follies, wherein many dunces fall and in diverse ways. For in the past I
have known some who use Poliphilian words in writing and speaking to
women,[426] and so insist upon the niceties of rhetoric, that the women
are diffident of themselves and account themselves very ignorant, and
think each hour of such discourse a thousand years, and rise before the
end. Others are immoderately boastful. Others often say things that
redound to their own discredit and damage, like some I am wont to laugh
at, who profess to be in love and sometimes say in the presence of
women: ‘I have never found a woman to love me;’ and they do not perceive
that those who hear them at once conclude that this can arise from no
other reason than that they deserve neither love nor the water they
drink, and hold them for men of slight account, and would not love them
for all the gold in the world, thinking that to love them would be to
stand lower than all the other women who loved them not.
“Still others are so silly that for the purpose of bringing odium upon
some rival of theirs, they say in the presence of women: ‘So and So is
the luckiest man on earth; for although he is not at all handsome,
discreet or valiant, and cannot do or say more than the rest, yet all
the women love him and run after him;’ and thus showing themselves to be
envious of the man’s good luck, they incite belief that (although he
shows himself to be lovable in neither looks nor acts) he has in him
some hidden quality for which he deserves so many women’s love; hence
those who hear him thus spoken of are by this belief even much more
moved to love him.”
71.—Then Count Ludovico laughed, and said:
“I assure you that the discreet Courtier will never use these
stupidities to win favour with women.”
Messer Cesare Gonzaga replied:
“Nor yet that one which was used in my time by a gentleman of great
repute, whose name for the honour of men I will not mention.”
My lady Duchess replied:
“At least tell what he did.”
Messer Cesare continued:
“Being loved by a great lady, at her request he came secretly to the
place where she was; and after he had seen her and conversed with her as
long as she and the time allowed, taking his leave with many bitter
tears and sighs, in token of the extreme sorrow that he felt at such a
parting, he besought her to keep him continually in mind; and then he
added that she ought to pay his board and lodging, for as he had been
invited by her, it seemed to him reasonable that he should be at no
charge for his coming.”
Then all the ladies began to laugh and to say that he was quite unworthy
to be called a gentleman; and many of the men were ashamed, with that
shame which the man himself would have rightly felt if he had at any
time found wit enough to be conscious of such a shameful fault.
My lord Gaspar then turned to messer Cesare, and said:
“It was better to refrain from telling this thing for the honour of
women, than to refrain for the honour of men from naming him; for you
can well imagine what good judgment that great lady had in loving such a
senseless animal, and also that of the many who served her perhaps she
had chosen this one as the most discreet, forsaking and misliking men
whose lackey he was unworthy to be.”
Count Ludovico laughed, and said:
“Who knows that he was not discreet in other things, and failed only as
to board and lodging? But many times men commit great follies in their
excessive love; and if you will say the truth, perhaps it has befallen
you to commit more than one.”
72.—Messer Cesare replied, laughing:
“By your faith, do not expose our errours.”
“Nay, it is necessary to expose them,” replied my lord Gaspar, “in order
that we may know how to correct them;” then he added: “My lord
Magnifico, now that the Courtier knows how to win and maintain his
lady’s favour and to deprive his rival of it, you must teach him how to
keep his love affairs secret.”
The Magnifico replied:
“Methinks I have said enough; so now choose someone else to speak of
this secrecy.”
Then messer Bernardo and all the others began to urge him anew; and the
Magnifico said, laughing:
“You wish to tempt me. All of you are too well practised in love: yet if
you would know more, go read it in Ovid.”
“And how,” said messer Bernardo, “should I hope that his precepts are of
any service in love, when he recommends and says it is a very good thing
that a man should pretend to be drunk in the presence of the
beloved?[427] See what a fine way of winning favour! And he cites as a
fine method of making one’s love known to a lady at a banquet, to dip a
finger in wine and write it on the table.”[428]
The Magnifico replied, laughing:
“In those days it was not amiss.”
“And therefore,” said messer Bernardo, “since such a filthy trick as
this was not offensive to the men of that time, we may believe that they
did not have so gentle a manner of serving women in love as we have. But
let us not forsake our first subject, of teaching how to keep love
secret.”
73.—Then the Magnifico said:
“In my opinion, in order to keep love secret it is needful to avoid the
causes that make it public, which are many; but there is one chief
cause, which is the wish to be too secret and not trust any person
whatever. For every lover desires to make his passion known to his
beloved, and being alone he is forced to make many more and stronger
demonstrations than if he were aided by some loving and faithful friend;
because the demonstrations that the lover himself makes arouse much
greater suspicion than those he makes through intermediaries. And since
the human mind is naturally curious to find things out, as soon as a
stranger begins to suspect, he employs such diligence that he learns the
truth, and having learned it, makes no scruple to publish it—nay,
sometimes delights to do so; which is not the case with a friend, who
besides helping with comfort and advice, often repairs those mistakes
which the blind lover commits, and always contrives secrecy and provides
for many things for which he himself cannot provide. Moreover very great
relief is felt in telling our passion and unburdening it to a trusty
friend, and likewise it greatly enhances our joys to be able to impart
them.”
74.—Then my lord Gaspar said:
“Another cause discloses love more than this.”
“And what is it?” replied the Magnifico.
My lord Gaspar continued:
“The vain ambition joined with madness and cruelty of women; who, as you
yourself have said, try to have as great a number of lovers as they can,
and if it were possible would have all of these burn and (once made
ashes) after death return alive to die once more. And even although they
be in love, still they delight in their lover’s torment, because they
think that pain and afflictions and continual calling for death give
good proof that they are loved, and can, by their beauty, make men
wretched and happy, and bestow death and life, as they please. Hence
they feed only on this food, and are so eager for it that (in order not
to be without it) they do not satisfy or ever quite dishearten their
lovers; but to keep these continually in anguish and desire, they use a
certain domineering severity of threats mingled with encouragement, and
fain would have a word, a look, a nod of theirs esteemed as highest
bliss. And to be deemed modest and chaste, not only by their lovers but
by all the rest, they take care to make their harsh and discourteous
behaviour public, to the end that everyone may think that if they thus
maltreat those who are worthy to be loved, they must treat the unworthy
much worse.
“And in this belief, thinking they thus have artfully made themselves
secure against infamy, they often spend every night with vilest men whom
they scarcely know; and so, to enjoy the calamities and continual
laments of some noble cavalier whom they love, they deny themselves
those pleasures which they might perhaps attain with some excuse; and
they are the cause that forces the poor lover in sheer desperation to
behaviour which brings to light that which every care ought to be taken
to keep most secret.
“Some others there are, who, if by trickery they succeed in leading many
a man to think himself loved by them, nourish the jealousy of each by
bestowing caresses and favour on one in the presence of another; and
when they see that he too whom they most love is nearly sure of being
loved because of the demonstrations shown him, they often put him in
suspense by ambiguous words and pretended anger, and pierce his heart,
feigning to care nothing for him and to wish to give themselves wholly
to another; whence arise hatreds, enmities and countless scandals and
manifest ruin, for in such a case a man must show the passion that he
feels, even though it result in blame and infamy to the lady.
“Others, not content with this single torment of jealousy, after the
lover has given all proofs of love and faithful service, and after they
have received the same with some sign of returning it with good will,
they begin to draw back without cause and when it is least expected, and
pretend to believe that he has grown lukewarm, and feigning new
suspicions that they are not loved, they give sign of wishing to break
with him absolutely. And so, because of these obstacles, the poor fellow
is by very force compelled to go back to the start and pay court as if
his service were beginning; and daily to walk the earth, and when the
lady stirs abroad to accompany her to church and everywhere she goes,
never to turn his eyes another way: and now he returns to plaints and
sighs and heaviness of heart, and if he can speak with her, to
supplications, blasphemies, despairings, and all those ragings to which
unhappy lovers are put by these fierce monsters, who have a greater
thirst for blood than tigers have.
75.—“Such woeful demonstrations as these are but too much seen and
known, and often more by others than by her who occasions them; and thus
in a few days they become so public that not a step can be taken, nor
the least signal given, that is not noted by a thousand eyes. Then it
happens that long before there are any sweets of love between them, they
are believed and judged by all the world; for when women see that the
lover, now nigh to death and overwhelmed by the cruelty and tortures
inflicted on him, is firmly and really resolving to withdraw, they at
once begin to show him that they love him heartily, and to do him all
manner of kindness, and to yield to him, to the end that (his ardent
desire having failed) the fruits of love may be less sweet to him and he
may have less to thank them for, in order to do everything amiss.
“And their love being now very well known, at the same time all the
results that proceed from it are also very well known; thus the women
are dishonoured, and the lover finds that he has lost time and pains and
has shortened his life in sorrows, without the least advantage or
pleasure; for he attained his desires, not when they would have made him
very happy with their pleasantness, but when he cared little or nothing
for them, because his heart was already so deadened by his cruel passion
that it had no feeling left wherewith to enjoy the delight or
contentment which was offered him.”
76.—Then my lord Ottaviano said, laughing:
“You held your peace awhile and refrained from saying evil of women;
then you hit them so hard that it seems as if you were gathering
strength, like those who draw back in order to strike the harder; and
verily you are in the wrong and ought henceforth to be gentler.”
My lady Emilia laughed, and turning to my lady Duchess, said:
“You see, my Lady, that our adversaries are beginning to quarrel and
differ among themselves.”
“Call me not so,” replied my lord Ottaviano, “for I am not your
adversary. This contest has displeased me much, not because I was sorry
to see the victory in favour of women, but because it has led my lord
Gaspar to revile them more than he ought, and my lord Magnifico and
messer Cesare to praise them perhaps a little more than their due;
besides which, owing to the length of the discussion, we have missed
hearing many other fine things that remained to say about the Courtier.”
“You see,” said my lady Emilia, “that you are our adversary after all;
and for that reason you are displeased with the late discussion, and
fain would not have had so excellent a Court Lady described; not because
you had anything more to say about the Courtier (for these gentlemen
have said all they knew, and I think that neither you nor anyone else
could add anything whatever), but because of the envy that you have of
women’s honour.”
77.—“Certain it is,” replied my lord Ottaviano, “that besides the things
that have been said about the Courtier, I should like to hear many
others. Still, since everyone is content to have him as he is, I also am
content; nor should I change him in aught else, unless in making him a
little more friendly to women than my lord Gaspar is, albeit perhaps not
so much so as some of these other gentlemen.”
Then my lady Duchess said:
“By all means we must see whether your talents are so great that they
can give the Courtier greater perfection than these gentlemen have given
him. So please to say what you have in mind: else we shall think that
even you cannot add anything to what has been said, but that you wished
to detract from the praises of the Court Lady because you think her the
equal of the Courtier, who you would therefore have us believe could be
much more perfect than these gentlemen have described him.”
My lord Ottaviano laughed, and said:
“The praise and censure that have been bestowed on women beyond their
due have so filled the ears and mind of the company as to leave no room
for anything else to lodge; besides this, in my opinion the hour is very
late.”
“Then,” said my lady Duchess, “we shall have more time by waiting till
to-morrow; and meanwhile this praise and censure, which you say have
been on both sides bestowed excessively on women, will leave these
gentlemen’s minds, and thus they will better appreciate that truth which
you will tell them.”
So saying, my lady Duchess rose to her feet, and courteously dismissing
the company, retired to her more private room, and everyone went to
rest.
THE FOURTH BOOK OF THE COURTIER
BY COUNT BALDESAR CASTIGLIONE
TO MESSER ALFONSO ARIOSTO
1.—Thinking to write out the discussions that were held on the fourth
evening, after those mentioned in the previous Books, among various
reflections I feel one bitter thought that strikes my heart, and makes
me mindful of human miseries and our deceptive hopes: and how fortune,
often in mid-course and sometimes near the end, shatters our frail and
vain designs, and sometimes wrecks them before the haven can be even
seen afar.
Thus I recall that not long after these discussions took place,
importunate death deprived our court of three very rare gentlemen while
they were in the flower of robust health and hope of honour. And of
these the first was my lord Gaspar Pallavicino, who being assailed by an
acute disease and more than once brought low, although his courage was
of such vigour that for a season it held spirit and body together in
spite of death, yet ended his natural course far before his time;[429] a
very great loss not only to our court and to his friends and family, but
to his native land and to all Lombardy.
Not long afterwards died messer Cesare Gonzaga, who to all those who had
acquaintance with him left a bitter and painful memory of his
death;[430] for since nature produces such men as rarely as she does, it
seemed only fitting that she should not so soon deprive us of this one:
because it certainly may be said that messer Cesare was carried off just
when he was beginning to give something more than promise of himself,
and to be esteemed as his admirable qualities deserved; for already, by
many meritorious efforts he had given good proof of his worth, which
shone forth not only in noble birth, but also in the ornament of letters
and of arms, and in every kind of laudable behaviour; so that, by reason
of his goodness, capacity, courage and wisdom, there was nothing so
great that it might not be expected from him.
No long time passed before the death of messer Roberto da Bari also
inflicted deep sorrow upon the whole court;[48] for it seemed reasonable
that everyone should lament the death of a youth of good behaviour,
agreeable, fair of aspect, and of very rare personal grace, and of as
stout and sturdy temper as could be wished.