remember that in drinking a certain wine, you at one time pronounced it
perfect, and at another most insipid? And this because you believed
there were two kinds of wine, one from the Genoese Riviera, and the
other from this country; and even when the mistake was discovered, you
would not at all believe it,—so firmly fixed in your mind was that wrong
opinion, although you had received it from the report of others.
36.—“Hence the Courtier ought to take great care to make a good
impression at the start, and to consider how mischievous and fatal a
thing it is to do otherwise. And they of all men run this danger, who
pride themselves on being very amusing and on having acquired by these
pleasantries of theirs a certain freedom that makes it proper and
permissible for them to do and say whatever occurs to them, without
taking thought about it. Thus they often begin a thing they know not how
to finish, and then try to help matters by raising a laugh; and yet they
do this so clumsily that it does not succeed, insomuch that they rouse
the utmost disgust in him who sees or hears them, and fail most
lamentably.
“Sometimes, thinking it to be droll and witty, they say the foulest and
most indecent things before and even to honourable ladies; and the more
they make these ladies blush, the more they rate themselves good
Courtiers, and they laugh and pride themselves on having such a fine
accomplishment, as they deem it. Yet they commit all this folly with no
other aim than to be esteemed jovial fellows: this is the one name which
seems to them worthy of praise and of which they boast more than of any
other; and to acquire it, they utter the grossest and most shameful
vileness in the world. Often they throw one another down-stairs, clap
billets of wood and bricks on one another’s backs, cast handfulls of
dust in one another’s eyes, make one another’s horses run into ditches
or down some hill; then at table they throw soups, sauces, jellies and
every kind of thing in one another’s faces:[178] and then they laugh.
And he who can excel the others in these things, esteems himself to be
the best Courtier and the most gallant, and thinks he has won great
glory. And if they sometimes invite a gentleman to these carouses of
theirs, and he does not choose to join in their unmannerly jokes, they
at once say he stands too much on his dignity, and holds himself aloof,
and is not a jovial fellow. But I have worse to tell you. There are some
who rival one another and award the palm to him who can eat and drink
the vilest and most offensive things; and they devise dishes so
abhorrent to human sense that it is impossible to recall them without
extreme disgust.”
37.—“And what may these be?” said my lord Ludovico Pio.
Messer Federico replied:
“Ask the Marquess Febus, who has often seen them in France, and perhaps
has taken part.”
The Marquess Febus replied:
“I have seen none of these things done in France that are not done in
Italy as well. But what is good among the Italians in dress, sports,
banquets, handling arms, and in everything else that befits a
Courtier,—all comes from the French.”
Messer Federico replied:
“I do not say that very noble and modest cavaliers are not also to be
found among the French, and I myself have known many who were truly
worthy of every praise. But some are little circumspect, and generally
speaking it seems to me that as regards breeding the Spaniards have more
in common with the Italians than the French have; because that grave
reserve peculiar to the Spaniards befits us far more than the quick
vivacity which among the French we see in almost every movement, and
which is not unseemly in them, nay is charming, for it is so natural and
proper to them as not to seem at all affected. There are very many
Italians who earnestly strive to copy this manner; and they can only
shake their heads in speaking and make clumsy crosswise bows, and walk
so fast that their lackeys cannot keep up with them when they pass
through the city. And with these ways they seem to themselves to be good
Frenchmen and to have the same freedom of manner, which in truth rarely
happens save with those who have been bred in France and have acquired
the manner in their youth.
“The same is true of knowing many languages; which I approve highly in
the Courtier, especially Spanish and French, because the intercourse of
both these nations with Italy is very frequent, and they have more in
common with us than any of the others have; and their two princes,[179]
being very powerful in war and very glorious in peace, always have their
courts full of noble cavaliers, who spread throughout the world; and it
is necessary for us also to converse with them.
38.—“I do not care at present to go more into detail in speaking of
things that are too well known, such as that our Courtier ought not to
avow himself a great eater or drinker, or given to excess in any evil
habit, or vile and ungoverned in his life, with certain peasant ways
that recall the hoe and plough a thousand miles away; because a man of
this kind not only may not hope to become a good Courtier, but can be
set to no more fitting business than feeding sheep.
“And finally I say it were well for the Courtier to know perfectly that
which we have said befits him, so that every possible thing may be easy
to him, and everyone may marvel at him,—he at no one. But be it
understood that there ought not to be in him that lofty and ungenial
indifference which some men have who show they are not surprised at what
others do because they imagine they can do it better, and who disparage
it by silence as not worth speaking of; and they almost seem to imply
that no one is their equal or even able to fathom the profundity of
their knowledge. Wherefore the Courtier ought to shun these odious ways,
and to praise the fine achievements of other men with kindness and good
will; and although he may feel that he is admirable and far superior to
all, yet he ought to appear not to think so.
“But since such complete perfection as this is very rarely and perhaps
never found in human nature, a man who is conscious of being lacking in
some particular, ought not to despond thereat or lose hope of reaching a
high standard, even though he cannot attain that perfect and supreme
excellence to which he aspires. For in every art there are many grades
that are honourable besides the highest, and whoever aims at the highest
will seldom fail to rise more than half-way. Therefore if our Courtier
excels in anything besides arms, I would have him get profit and esteem
from it in fine fashion; and I would have him so discreet and sensible
as to be able with skill and address to attract men to see and hear that
wherein he thinks he excels, always appearing not to do it from
ostentation, but by chance and at others’ request rather than by his own
wish. And in everything he has to do or say, let him if possible come
ready and prepared, yet appearing to act impromptu throughout. In those
things, however, wherein he feels himself to be mediocre, let him touch
in passing, without dwelling much upon them, albeit in such fashion that
he may be thought to know more about them than he shows himself to know:
like certain poets, who sometimes touched lightly upon the profoundest
depths of philosophy and other sciences, of which perhaps they
understood little. Then, in that of which he knows he is wholly
ignorant, I would never have him make any pretence or seek to win any
fame; nay if need be, let him frankly confess his ignorance.”
[Illustration:
LEONARDO DA VINCI
“...ONE OF THE FIRST PAINTERS OF THE WORLD...”
1452-1519
]
Reduced from Braun’s photograph (no. 79.207) of Leonardo’s drawing in
the Royal Library at Windsor. For an account of this and other less
authentic portraits, see Müntz’s life of Leonardo da Vinci (London:
1898), ii, 225 _et seq._
39.—“That,” said Calmeta, “is not what Nicoletto[180] would have done,
who was a very excellent philosopher but knew no more about law than
about flying. When a Podestà[181] of Padua had decided to give him a
lectureship in law, he was never willing (although urged thereto by many
scholars) to undeceive the Podestà and confess his ignorance,—always
saying that he did not agree with the opinion of Socrates in this
matter, and that it was not seemly for a philosopher ever to say that he
was ignorant of anything.”
Messer Federico replied:
“I do not say that of his own notion and unasked by others, the Courtier
should volunteer to tell his ignorance; for I too dislike this folly of
self-accusal and depreciation. And therefore I sometimes inwardly laugh
at certain men, who needlessly and of their own accord narrate things
that perhaps occurred without their fault but yet imply a shade of
disgrace; like a cavalier whom you all know, and who, whenever he heard
mention made of the battle that was fought against King Charles in the
Parmesan,[182] at once began to tell the manner of his flight, nor
seemed to have seen or heard aught else that day; again, speaking of a
certain famous joust, he always described how he had fallen, and in his
conversation he often seemed to seek an opportunity to tell how he had
received a sound cudgelling one night as he was on his way to meet a
lady.
“I would not have our Courtier tell such follies. It seems to me,
however, that when occasion offers for displaying himself in something
of which he is quite ignorant, he ought to avoid it; and if compelled by
necessity, he ought to confess his ignorance frankly rather than put
himself to that risk. And in this way he will escape the censure that
many nowadays deserve, who from some perverse instinct or unreasonable
design always set themselves to do that which they do not know, and
forsake that which they do know. And as an instance of this, I know a
very excellent musician, who, having abandoned music, gave himself up
wholly to composing verses, and thinks himself very great therein, and
makes all men laugh at him; and now he has lost even his music.
“Another man, one of the first painters of the world, despises the art
wherein he is most rare, and has set himself to study philosophy; in
which he has such strange conceptions and new chimeras, that he could
not with all his painter’s art depict them.[183] And of such as these, a
countless number could be found.
“Some indeed there are who know they excel in one thing and yet make
their chief business of another, of which they are not ignorant either;
but every time they have occasion to display themselves in that wherein
they feel themselves proficient, they do it gallantly. And it sometimes
comes to pass that the company, seeing them do well in that which is not
their profession, think they can do far better in that which they make
their profession. This art, if it be accompanied by good judgment, is by
no means unpleasing to me.”
40.—Then my lord Gaspar Pallavicino replied:
“This seems to me not art but mere deceit; nor do I think it fitting for
him who would be a man of honour, ever to deceive.”
“It is an embellishment, which graces what he does,” said messer
Federico, “rather than deceit; and even if it be deceit, it is not to be
censured. Will you not also say that of two men fencing, the one who
touches the other, deceives him? And this is because the one has more
art than the other. And if you have a jewel that is beautiful without
setting, and it afterwards comes into the hands of a good goldsmith, who
by skilful setting makes it look far more beautiful, will you not say
that this goldsmith deceives the eyes of anyone who sees it? And yet he
deserves praise for his deceit, for with good judgment and art his
master hand often adds grace and beauty to ivory or silver, or to a
beautiful stone by encircling it with fine gold. Therefore let us not
say that art,—or such deceit as this, if you will call it so,—deserves
any censure.
“Nor is it unseemly for a man who is conscious of doing something well,
dexterously to seek occasion for showing himself therein, and at the
same time to conceal what he thinks undeserving of praise,—but always
with a touch of wary dissimulation. Do you not remember that without
appearing to seek them, King Ferdinand[32] found opportunities now and
then to go about in his doublet? and this because he felt himself to be
very agile; and that, as his hands were not over good, he rarely or
almost never took off his gloves? And there were very few that perceived
his cunning. Moreover I think I have read that Julius Cæsar liked to
wear the laurel wreath to hide his baldness.[184] But in all these
matters it is needful to be very cautious and to use good judgment, in
order not to go beyond bounds; for in avoiding one errour a man often
runs into another, and in his wish to win praise, receives censure.
41.—“Hence in our mode of life and conversation, it is a very safe thing
to govern ourselves with a certain decorous discretion, which in truth
is a very great and very strong shield against envy, which we ought to
avoid as much as possible. Moreover I wish our Courtier to guard against
getting the name of a liar or a boaster, which sometimes befalls even
those who do not deserve it. Therefore in his talk let him always take
care not to go beyond the probable, and also not to tell too often those
truths that have the look of falsehood,[185]—like many who never speak
save of miracles, and wish to carry such authority that every incredible
thing shall be believed from them. Others, at the beginning of a
friendship and in order to gain favour with their new friend, swear the
first day they speak with him that there is no one in the world whom
they love more than him, and that they would gladly die to do him
service, and like things beyond reason. And when they part from him,
they pretend to weep and to be unable to speak a word from grief. Thus,
in their wish to be thought very loving, they come to be esteemed liars
and silly flatterers.
“But it would be too long and tedious to recount all the faults that may
be committed in our manner of conversation. Hence as regards what I
desire in the Courtier, let it suffice to say, besides the things
already said, that he should be of such sort as never to be without
something to say that is good and well suited to those with whom he is
speaking, and that he should know how to refresh the minds of his
hearers with a certain sweetness, and by his amusing witticisms and
pleasantries to move them cleverly to mirth and laughter, so that
without ever becoming tedious or producing satiety, he may give pleasure
continually.
42.—“At last I think my lady Emilia will give me leave to be silent. And
if she refuse me, I shall by my own talk stand convicted of not being
the good Courtier whereof I have spoken for not only does good talk
(which perhaps you have neither now nor ever heard from me), but even
such talk as I usually have at command (whatever that may be worth),
quite fail me.”
Then my lord Prefect said, laughing:
“I am not willing to let this false opinion,—that you are not a most
admirable Courtier,—rest in the mind of any of us; for it is certain
that your desire to be silent proceeds rather from a wish to escape
labour than from lack of something to say. So, to the end that nothing
may seem to be neglected in such worthy company as this and such
admirable talk, be pleased to teach us how we must employ the
pleasantries that you have just mentioned, and to show us the art that
pertains to all this kind of amusing talk, so as to excite laughter and
mirth in gentle fashion; for indeed methinks it is very important and
well befitting the Courtier.”
“My Lord,” replied messer Federico, “pleasantries and witticisms are the
gift and grace of nature rather than of art; but in this matter certain
nations are to be found more ready than others, like the Tuscans, who in
truth are very clever. It seems to me that the use of witticism is very
natural to the Spaniards too. Yet there are many, both of these and of
all other nations, who from over loquacity sometimes go beyond bounds
and become silly and pointless, because they do not consider the kind of
person with whom they are speaking, the place where they are, the
occasion, or the soberness and modesty which they ought above all things
to maintain.”
43.—Then my lord Prefect replied:
“You deny that there is any art in pleasantries, and yet by speaking ill
of those who use them not with modesty and soberness and who regard not
the occasion and the persons with whom they are speaking, methinks you
show that even this can be taught and has some method in it.”
“These rules, my Lord,” replied messer Federico, “are so universal that
they fit and apply to everything. But I said there is no art in
pleasantries, because I think there are only two kinds of them to be
found: one of which stretches out in long and continuous talk, as we see
in the case of certain men who narrate and describe so gracefully and
amusingly something that has happened to them or that they have seen or
heard, that they set it before our eyes with gestures and words and
almost make us touch it with the hand; and for lack of other word, we
may perhaps call this the humourous or urbane manner. The other kind of
witticism is very short, and consists solely in sayings that are quick
and sharp, such as are often heard among us, or biting; nor are they
acceptable unless they sting a little. By the ancients also they were
called apothegms: at present some call them _arguzie_.[186]
“So I say that in the first kind, which is humourous narrative, there is
no need of any art, because nature herself creates and fashions men
fitted to narrate amusingly, and gives them features, gestures, voice
and words proper to imitate what they will. In the other kind, that of
_arguzie_, what can art avail? For whatever it be, a pungent saying must
dart forth and hit the mark before he who utters it shall seem to have
given it a thought; otherwise it is flat and has no savour. Therefore I
think it is all the work of intellect and nature.”
Then messer Pietro Bembo took up the talk, and said:
“My lord Prefect does not deny what you say, that nature and intellect
play the chief part, especially as regards conception. Still it is
certain that every man’s mind, however fine his intellect may be,
conceives both good things and bad, and more or less; yet judgment and
art then polish and correct them, and cull out the good and reject the
bad. So lay aside what pertains to intellect, and explain to us what
consists in art; that is, of the pleasantries and witticisms that excite
laughter, tell us what are befitting the Courtier and what are not, and
in what time and way they should be used; for this is what my lord
Prefect asks of you.”
44.—Then messer Federico said laughingly:
“There is no one of us here to whom I do not yield in everything, and
especially in being jocular; unless perhaps nonsense, which often makes
others laugh more than bright sayings, be also counted as pleasantry.”
And then turning to Count Ludovico and to messer Bernardo Bibbiena, he
said: “Here are the masters of witticism, from whom I must first learn
what to say if I am to speak of jocose sayings.”[187]
Count Ludovico replied:
“Methinks you are already beginning to practise what you say you know
nothing of, I mean in that you try to make these gentlemen laugh by
ridiculing messer Bernardo and me; for every one of them knows you far
excel us in that for which you praise us. If you are fatigued, then, you
had better beg my lady Duchess to postpone the rest of our talk until
to-morrow, instead of trying to escape fatigue by subterfuge.”
Messer Federico began to make answer, but my lady Emilia quickly
interrupted him and said:
“It is not in order for the discussion to spend itself in your praises;
it is enough that you are all well known. But as I remember, Sir Count,
that you accused me last evening of not distributing the labour equally,
it were well to let messer Federico rest awhile, and to give messer
Bernardo Bibbiena the task of speaking about pleasantries, because we
not only know him to be very amusing in continuous talk, but we remember
that he has several times promised us to try to write upon this subject,
and hence we may believe that he has already thought much about it, and
therefore ought to satisfy us fully. Afterwards, when we have finished
discussing pleasantries, messer Federico shall go on with what he has
left to say about the Courtier.”
Thereupon messer Federico said:
“My Lady, I do not know what I have left to say; but like the wayfarer
at noon, weary with the fatigue of his long journey, I will refresh
myself with messer Bernardo’s talk and the sound of his words, as if
under some delightful and shady tree, with the soft murmur of a plashing
spring. Then perhaps, being revived a little, I shall be able to say
something more.”
Messer Bernardo replied, laughing:
“If I show you my head, you shall see what shade is to be expected from
the leafage of my tree.[188] As for listening to the murmur of that
plashing spring, perhaps you may; for I was once turned into a spring,
not by any of the ancient gods but by our friend Fra Mariano,[60] and I
have never stood in need of water from then till now.”
Then everyone began to laugh, for this pleasantry referred to by messer
Bernardo happened at Rome in the presence of Cardinal Galeotto of San
Pietro ad Vincula,[189] and was well known to all.
45.—The laughter having ceased, my lady Emilia said:
“Now stop making us laugh by your use of pleasantries, and teach us how
we are to use them, and from what they are derived, and all you know
about the subject. And to lose no more time, begin at once.”
[Illustration:
BERNARDO DOVIZI DA BIBBIENA
1470-1520
]
Reduced from Braun’s photograph (no. 42.158) of the portrait, in the
Pitti Gallery at Florence, long attributed to Raphael (1483-1520),
but regarded by Morelli as the work of a pupil.
“I fear,” said messer Bernardo, “that the hour is late; and to the end
that my talk about pleasantries may not itself lack pleasantry and be
tedious, perhaps it will be well to postpone it until to-morrow.”
Here many replied together that it was still far from the usual hour for
ending the discussion. Then, turning to my lady Duchess and to my lady
Emilia, messer Bernardo said:
“I do not wish to escape this task; although, just as I am wont to
marvel at the presumption of those who venture to sing to the viol
before our friend Giacomo Sansecondo,[190] so I ought not to talk about
pleasantries before an audience who understand what I should say far
better than I.
“However, not to give any of these gentlemen a pretext for refusing the
charge that may be laid upon them, I will tell as briefly as I can what
occurs to me concerning the causes that excite laughter; which is so
peculiar to us that in defining man we are wont to say that he is a
laughing animal. For laughter is found only among men, and is nearly
always the sign of a certain hilarity felt inwardly in the mind, which
is by nature drawn towards amusement and longs for repose and
recreation; wherefore we see many things devised by men to this end,
such as festivals and different kinds of shows. And since we love those
who furnish us this recreation, it was the custom of ancient rulers
(Roman, Athenian and many others), in order to gain the people’s good
will and to feast the eyes and minds of the multitude, to erect great
theatres and other public edifices, and therein to exhibit new sports,
horse and chariot races, combats, strange beasts, comedies, tragedies
and mimes. Nor were such shows eschewed by grave philosophers, who in
sports of this kind and banquets often relaxed their minds when fatigued
by lofty discourse and spiritual meditation; which thing all kinds of
men also like to do: for not only toilers in the field, sailors, and all
those who perform hard and rough labour with their hands, but holy
priests, and prisoners awaiting death from hour to hour, all seek
continually some remedy and solace for their refreshment. Hence
everything that moves to laughter, cheers the mind and gives pleasure,
and for the moment frees us from the memory of those weary troubles of
which our life is full. So laughter, as you see, is very delightful to
all, and greatly to be praised is he who excites it reasonably and in a
graceful way.