_To Editor Home & Ladies Page who realise how wallpaper are like
friendship: sometime he stick right, and sometime he don’t._
Dear Mr:
Mrs Bertha Mac Frenzie, a very medium lady residing in Boston, Conn.,
dis-employed me recently from happy home. I was very satisfactory help
to her until following anecdote happen to me.
Mrs Mac Frenzie’s only extravagance are her stingyness. Careful in
most everything, she become extra reckless when attempting to save 9c.
Her thoughts are filled with skimmed milk & slaughterhouse steak. I am
suprised Hon. U. S. Government do not hire her to saw off High Cost of
Living before he start to grow any taller. I know because I seen it.
“Togo,” she require of me, “too much wealth is lavished in that soup
you make. He is too thick.”
“If he become thinner he will faint away,” I warn out.
“Soup will stand considerable starvation and yet seem hearty,” she
deploy. So I do so.
Last Wedsday she approach up to me with arms full of roll-up material.
“I have dishcovered now so I can save 9$!” she deploy with glee-club
voice.
“Such saving may involve great expense,” I corrode brightly.
She neglect my chivalry.
“I am determined to paper bedroom of upstairs,” she rake off. “This
shall be done by home-made labour. These wallpapers what I got only
cost 10c. per roll, thusly saving 1$. Experienced paper hangmen require
4$ per day. It take 2 such to paste a room properly. I shall employ you
for nothing to do this valuable task, thusly saving 8$. Therefore, I
save 1$ + 8$ = 9$.”
“What clever stingyness you think up!” I oblate. No response from her.
She led me upwards to bedroom where that job must be.
“Have you any knowledge of paper-hanging?” she ask it.
“I never before attended such a lynching,” was answer I make.
“I show you how is,” she reciprocate. So she lay down following tools
on floor where I could see:
12 bundles wallpaper of blue complexions tattooed with beauty
resembling cauliflowers flirting with grapes.