faith and love I could trust and not be afraid; it mattered nothing to
me where I went, as I believed that God would be with me. I never opened
my mind to no person in the course of all this time, but I was thinking
to the same day I sailed, or the day before, and that only to desire one
of my friends when my money came from England to remitt it unto me. But
at that time, as I was so happy in God, and could trust him with both
soul and body, I thought I could trust his servant allso. So I begun and
opened all my mind to my Father Cooper, told him who and what I was, and
how I came there, and all my reason I had to quit the town, which was,
as my right name was H. Carter, and as I hailed as H. Harry, I thought
if I entered into business I must at times have business upon the
wharves,[40] amongst the shipping; and if I ever meet any person that
know me I should be branded as a hypocrite, and hurt my partner and
sadly wound the cause of God. He answered and said, "Capt^{n.}, as that
is the cause, I think you need not leave the place. If you think
proppar, I'll speak to the prechers and your leader, and appoint to meet
to one of your friends' houses one afternoon, where, I think, we shall
be able to settle all the business, but you must not be presant."
Accordingly they meet all together, those I was moste particular
acquainted with, so he opened the business. They all joined together,
and said, "He did this when in a natural state, not meaning to wrong or
defraud any man, for personal safety, and when we hear anyone call him
'Captain Harry' or 'Mr. Harry,' we must say his surname is Carter, as it
is the custom in England where there is two Captains of one family, the
one is called after his Christian name." So my old friend delayed no
time, but soon come with this full account to me where I rejoiced in my
great deliverer. I could not then doubt but this was the Lord's doings,
and it was marvellous in my eyes, so that the report soon spread aboute
the town. But moste of them, as they begun with "Captain Harry," so
continued; and I thought tho' their love was so great to me before, it
was increased if possible tenfold more so; so then I concluded in my
mind to stay, and thought to live and die there, and went on as before,
watching and praying, frequaintely complaining of my littleness of love,
weakeness of Faith, etc., until aboute the 19 of December, when I went
to class meeting on the Sabbath morning. Providence sent one there from
the County of Durham, in England, whose name was Hodgson. He lately come
to town in company with two excellent men from the same place, and as he
being a stranger, the leader desired him to speake to the people. So he
begun, saying how and when he was convinced of sin, when he was
converted, and when he was sanctified unto God; and after, exhorted all
that believed to only believe and see the salvation of God, and with
this language, "all things in Christe is now ready, all the fitness he
requires is to feel the need of him." So he preached a presant and full
salvation unto us. Such language I never heard before with no man. Now
in the course of this time I had been there Religion was not in a very
prospras state, few[41] convinsed and very few converted unto God, but
the people going on still in a steady state, so that we never heard
sanctification preached, or seldom prayed for, in publick, and amongst
the whole of the methodists that was there at that time, aboute, as well
as I can remember, 260 in all, and only two persons out of the whole
number that did perfess and enjoy the blessing of sanctification--my
Father Cooper was one, and an old woman the other. So that I thought if
I could receive that blessing to the end of three or four years, I
thought it would be a blessing indeed, etc. So then, after the meeting
was ended, as Mr. Hodgson and me lodged in the same part of the town,
went in company together. He begun to ask me who I was, etc., so that I
gave him a true description of how long I had been in town, and what the
Lord had done for me since I had been there. When I had done speaking,
he said, "Well, my brother, be thankfull for what the Lord have done for
you, and ask for more"; and some thing in this way, "Go on to
perfection, it is the will of God, even your sanctification. Do you
believe these things?" I answered, "I believe in the doctrine of
sanctification, but I cannot believe the promise is to me." He asked for
what reason, I said, "I am a poor egnarant person, and it is not more
than five months since I am justified, and there is a great number of
excellent men and women in this town that is usefull to their fellow
creatures in praying in publick, visiting the sick, instructing the
ignorant, etc., they do not perfess this blessing at all, and how can I
expect it, who am good for nothing, and so unworthy and unfit for it."
He answered, "All the fitness he requires is to feel the need of him.
The promise is for you; only believe, and see the salvation of God,"
etc. So the discourse I had with him set my soul all of a flame, the
blessing seemed to be nigh me. I went home and fell to my knees in
prayer. I thought I was just ready to laye hold of it, but unbelief
hindered me; but the hope of the blessing being so very nigh, made me
rejoice in abundant manner. I was very happy all that day and the next
day allso, still in earnest expectation to receive the blessing. But the
day following went to a prayer meeting, being on 21 December, where I
meet Mr. Hodgson providentely, and after the meeting he asked me to go
home to his house with him. I gladly embraced the opportunity, and after
a little conversation by his fireside the Lord enabled me to believe in
him for full salvation. I immediately told him, saying, "Glory be to
God, I do believe." So after we sung and prayed, he said, "You must go
in the morning and tell your friends of what the Lord have done for
you; this blessing may not be given for your sake only, but for others
also." So I parted with him, and went home, jumping,[42] and leaping,
and praising of God. And the next morning, according to his order, I
went from house to house, and told the six or seven familes that I was
moste particular acquainted with what the Lord had done for my soul, so
that we rejoiced greately together, they farmely believed the report.
And I have thought many times since, as if I hard them say, "Now we see
God have no respect of persons. This poor ignorant Englishman have been
here with us only a few months, have been justified and sanctified, and
surely if this blessing is to be attained too, we will never rest until
we receive it." So that the preachers and people were all in alarm. In
the course of a few days there were new prayer meetings set up upon
allmoste every quarter of the town, so that in a very little time the
Chapel would scarcely hold half of the people, and the Lord begun to
pour a lot of his spirit upon the people in a wonderful manner--some
crying for mercy, others standing up rejoicing and praising of God that
they know their sins was forgiven them; likewayse others rejoicing,
saying that God spake the second time, "Be clean," and cast out all
their inbred sin; and oh, what a glorious work was there. I know one of
my friends going home from a prayer meeting one night, aboute two or
three o'clock in the morning, called to another friend's house, knocked
him out of bed, and told him that God cleansed him from all
unrighteousness. They both joined in prayer, and they wrasled with God
until the other experienced the same blessing allso. So that with the
noise and brusel[43] of the people the world seemed as it were turned
upside down. The Calvinests, Baptists, Universalists, Quakers, with the
people of the Establish Church, all seemed to rise up in arms against
it. Sume said the devel was amongst the methodists, sume one thing, sume
another; but the work continued to go on in a glorious manner, so that
in the course of aboute two or three months the society increased from
aboute 260 to more than 500. It was then good times indeed, praise be to
God. I have had the pleasure to see many revivals since, but I think I
never saw greater heroes for the work then my dear friends in New York;
and I think the people there then was sumething like the primitive
Christians, going from house to house in fellowship one with another,
declaring the wonderfull works of God. Well, then, I am now going to
return to myself. I think it was in the beginning of January, in 1790,
when there was a meeting set up caled the "Select Bands," meant for
those that was sanctified, and those believers that was pressing hard
after it might join if they pleased. So I think there was aboute twenty
that perfess sanctification joined, and aboute ten more that was crying
after it. I think that was a scool indeed, to hear so many sensible men
and women to stand up to tell of their experience from the beginning to
the presant, and I never was a greater wonder to myself than to be
permitted amongst such people, as I was the youngest in the way and the
moste ignorant of them all. So I still continued in all the
ordinesses,[44] using not less secreat prayer than when I begun to seek
the Lord, my soul moste times in a blaze of prayer.
I think it was in aboute the middle of Jan^{y.} when I went one morning
to the preachar's house in C^{o.} with Mr. Coopar, where there was
sevrall of the leaders, consulting where they should hold prayer
meetings, and how they should car[45] them on. I went home to my
lodgings, and seating by the fire I begun first to reason, saying,
"Everyone is imployed, all have sume thing to do exepting me, and I am
good for nothing, no use to society, but as a dead dog in the way."
Well, then, as I was a long time in expectation to have remittance from
home, my money being done, and being in debt about 38 shillings for my
board, I said to my creditor, "I have gave up all hope of having any
money from home, I muste begin to work aboute sumething, but what or
where I know not. If I work in town the people will brand me for a
decever, as I have said I have sume property and sent home for sume, so
I fear it would much hurt the cause of Christ. I should be glad to have
your advice in the case." He answered, "What you owes me is but a
trifal, you need not go anywhere to work on my account. You are welcome
to stay a month or two longer, perhaps your money will come; and if not,
do not make yourself uneasy aboute it." But, however, my friend Hodgson
aboute that time went upon Long Island to live, so that I spoke to him
for lodgings and went with him, thinking I should be out of the way of
censure. So the 12 of June I car'd my little sea bed there, and laid it
in one corner of his room as he had nither steed[46] for me; so the
next morning, being 13, went to work to a farmer aboute a mile and a
half from the little town where I lived, and was sent to the field to
hoe Indian corn in company with a negro. The work was very strange unto
me, but soon after begun fell into discourse with him, and I rejoiced to
hear he belonged to New York society. We worked the forenoon in the
field together, where I was pleased and profited with his conversation;
the afternoon being hard rain, we worked shifting of straw, etc., in the
barn, when come the farmer, as I could not mow hay, etc., paid me my
wages, and directed me in my way home to a cousin of his, whom I caled
upon, and he told me to come the next morning. Accordingly I did so, who
sent me in a field to do the same work, when aboute seven or eight
o'clock I was joined with a man to work with me, who was part owner of
the field. I worked until breakfast time, when I was caled in to
breakfast. I could eate nothing, but drink a little milk, the same to
dinner. The man that worked with me, as he could do much more work than
me, desired me not to work to hard, but by three or four o'clock the
blood was running between my fingers, and my body so weak, all moste
ready to drop down. The man that was with me asked me no questions
consarning who or what was, but a little before we left work went to a
publick house and brought me a little rum and water, and desired me to
drink again and again. I gladly took a very little of it, and should
have taken more, but I thought, as he know me to be a methodist, he did
it in order to trap me; but I saw after the man had no such desire, so I
gladly received it with thankfullness both to God and him. So I went
home rambling, with a tired body, as one that was much intoxicated. The
next morning went to the same place again, but wore gloves to hide my
bleeding hands; and as their hours was from aboute sun rising, and stop
a little to breakfast and dinner, and work until sun set, and as my body
was wasted and weakened before with much fasting and abstinence, and
had hardly dirted my finger scarcely for nearley twenty years before, my
body was allmoste ready to crush under the burden. Oh, what a change was
this indeed! And as I used before to pray not less than twelve times in
a day in secreat, I had no opertunity at that time but a few minuts
before I went to work, and find a little house or sume bye corner to
breackfast and dinner; and when I got home in the evning, where the
family was allmoste ready to go to bed. But I can realy say, to the
glory of God, I never was so happy in all my life as I was at that
_time_. So I staid there two or three days to finish that _job_, and
after put in a field to work to myself some _distance_ from the house,
and furder[47] from my home, where my employer told me, "You may lodge
here if you will." I gladly accepted the offer, and the first night I
was took into a room in one end of the farm house and showed my bed,
where there was an old negro woman, and a little black boy with her. I
looked at my bed, the room, and my company, and I think I never saw a
meaner bed in all the course of my life. Stripped of my clothes and
turned in, in full expectation that they was going to sleep with me, as
I saw no other bed or place else for them. But whilst I was thinking of
this, I saw there in one cornar of the room a little ladder, where they
both went up together. I was there, I think, three or four days in that
field to myself, and I think it was the second day, aboute eleven
o'clock, I stood in the field and leaned upon my hoe, and could not tell
whether I should drop down under my burthen or stand any longer, the sun
allmoste over my head, the wind very little, and took hardely anything
to sustain nature. And I worked harder than perhaps I was required to,
and that for two reasons--the one for fear that they should know I was a
broken _gen_telman, and if known, I should not have work to _do_. _The_
other, I must do justice unto my employer. Wilst I was thus at a stand,
calling to the L_ord_ for help, I saw a light shone brighter then the
light of the sun, that filled me with such faith and love, I went on
again like a giant refreshed with new wine, praising and blessing of
God. Oh, what happy times I had every moment. After I had done the
field, he had no work more for me, so I returned home and got work a day
or two in a place. I keept all what I feeled to myself, no murmuring, no
complaining; but when my dear friends in New York come to hear of it,
they agreed together to contribute to my maintenance, and take me off
from there, and sent me word to be home one day, as they were coming to
see me. Accordingly the day came, when six or seven women come according
to promise, and after sume conversation opened their business, but in a
very feeling manner. I thanked them, and said "I surely am not too good
to work; I have read of sume that have worked for their own bread that I
am unworthy to wipe their shoes or snuff their candle." So we passed the
afternoon together in singing and praying. I saw them to the boate,
where they made me promise not to fail to come to see them every Sunday,
and, if possible, Saturday night.
After three or four days, working a day in a place, I went to work with
a farmer near the place I worked before, where I went to hoe Indian corn
with five or six negero slaves. They behaved unto me very civil indeed,
desired me not to work too hard; and as the poorest workman amongst them
could far out do me and do my best, but one or other allwayse helped me
on, so that I kept _close_ up with them. I was, as well as I can
remem_ber_, with them six or seven days, and that time sleeped in a hay
loft.[48] My suffering was not all over, as yet; I could eate very
little, and in the morning, when I went to work, allmoste so sore and so
tired as in the evning; and I could hardly say I could sleep at all, at
times just forget myself only. All this time nither master nor any man
ever asked me who or what I was, they only know I was an English man.
They all treated me very civily, and when they had done with me they
would ask me my demands. My answer was, "What you please"; so they
allwayse gave me the same as another common labourer. Aboute this time I
was asked to go with a mason to repair a mill dam; it was to be repaired
with turf, and I had a small flatt bottam boat to carry the turf across
the pool. So I went with him upon this conditions, if I could do the
work, to give me what he pleased. I expected at first he was to be
allwayse with me, but just showed me my work and left me to myself, only
sume times come to see me, once in the course of two or three days. I
then lodged and boarded myself to freind Hodgson's. The place was in a
bottam,[49] in mirey ground, and the weather very hot, that the sweat
would run over me in large drops, as if any person was heaving water
upon me. I think I went to work about sun rising in the morning, I
supose aboute five o'clock, stop aboute half hour to breakfast, _only_
an hour to dinner, and then work until sun set, I supose aboute seven.
My breakfast and dinner was a piece of bread I card with me, and I went
to a farm house for a little milk. When my employer come to see me, he
would moste times bring with him a little rum and a cup, and as there
was a will[50] close by, "Come," said he, "rest yourself a little; let
us go and have a drink together." What a change indeed was workd upon
me; before time, when I was, as it were, a gentelman, I could not tuch a
dram before dinner upon any account. But then how glad and how thankfull
I was to receive it. But after the first fortnight or three weeks my
bones was become a little more hardened, my sufferings was not
alltogether so much, and I have thought many a times when my sufferings
was to the greatest, that if it was the will of Providence I would
gladly continue in the same all the days of my life. So every Sabbath
day I went to New York to see my friends in the morning and return back
again in the evning.
I think it was in the later end of July when Mr. Dawson, one of them
English men I before mentioned that came from the County of Durham, came
over to inform me that if I would go home there was a vessel that would
be ready in the course _of_ a week's time, and he was going to England.
I th_anked_ him and went to New York, and asked the advice of my
friends. They all, as the voice of one man, said, "Surely this is the
Lord's doing; go, the Lord will be with you. We believe that it will not
be in the power of man to hurt you, but you must not think it strange if
you receive strong tryals from the Captain." The Captain was an English
man that come there from the West Indies, and had been in town for, I
suppose, six or seven weeks; a man that did profess Religion, and did at
times stand up in publick as a preacher, but of Calvinist principles.
And as I know him before, I went and asked him for a passage, then
fully believing it was my duty, and I thought I could trust the Lord
with my both soul and body. So he was quite agreeable, and then, as I
was not acquainted with the man, opened all my mind unto him,
notwithstanding for all the hints I had concarning him before. So he
asked me if I was a navigator, and if I could work, etc. I answered I
had my quadrant and books with me. So I agreed with him to be landed in
Mounts Bay, or close to the East of the Lizard Point, and then returned
back to Long Island, and told my employer I was going at home. He
desired me to stay a few days longer with him to finish the job, to
which I consented. And I think aboute the 3 or 4 of august, when we
settled our accounts, he paid me very handsomely. I returned to New
York. I paid off all my debts and bought myself sevrall little
_seafar_ing clothes for the voyage, and I think I had four pence in
_coppe_rs left. Well, then, here was a change in deed--from _such_ hard
labour to ease again. So I staid there with my dear friends, going from
house to house as before. I think I was allwayse rejoicing and praysing
of God, and still using the same self-denial by abstaining from food as
before time, and not only then, but allso when I was to my hardest
labour. I staid there until the 13 August, when took breakfast with my
old and first friend the glasar, and after breakfast he took a dollar
out of his pocket and said, "I insist on you to accept of it." I thanked
him, and I took it, so went on board, and that day got to an anchor in
Sandyhook, and the next morn sailed for England with a fair wind and
fair weather. The vessel was a small sloop aboute 40 tons,[51] bought by
the Captain then in New York, but the papars draw'd in the mate's name,
under cover him being an American. The cargo was coopers' timber, and
the whole crew was the Captain, mate, two boys, Mr. Dawson, and myself.
I keept one watch with the biggest boy, I suppose aboute 16 or 17 years
old; and the mate keept the other watch with the other boy, I suppose
aboute 13 or 14 year old. We was not more then a day or two at sea
until Satan begun to rage and roar. The Captain set his face against me.
Try my best I could do nothing to please him. He pretended to know all
things, but did hardly know anything of the sea or business. Then I
thought of what I was told by my friends in New York, so that I was not
the leaste disappointed. I acted in the capacity of steward and as cabin
boy, to bring all things to his hand as a gentelman, and if there were
anything short I stayed without it; so that I had plenty to do to try to
please him, besides keep my regular watch on deck night and day. We had
a fair wind until we came upon the banks of Newfoundland. Then the wind
took us ahead and blow fresh; for a little time the vessel made some
water upon one tack. He said, "We will bear up for Boston." I think, for
all he was a professor of Religion, I never saw a man more afraid of his
life in all my life. I thought that if we put in to Boston I never
should fetch home in that vessel. I opposed him, and said, "There is no
danger, I will engage to keep the pump in my watch." Mr. Dawson said, "I
will keep it in the other," tho' he know nothing of the sea. The mate
then joined us, and amongst us all gained our point, so that soon after
we had a fair wind again.
We had moste times publick prayers in the morning, sume times Mr. Dawson
and sume times him, but still continued with his face set against me,
and poor Mr. Dawson dare not speak one word in my favour, as he was full
so much afraid of him as I was. And the two poor boys, I think in the
hardness of my times it never was in my power to treat two dogs as he
treated them. So one day, after we come into soundings, I said, "The
Land's End bears so and so, it is time for you to alter your course if
you land me there." So as he pretended to keep a reckning he said to the
contrary, but never let us see his journal, the mate and me, within two
or three miles of each other,[52] so that I thought he had no mind to
land me in the Mounts Bay, according to promise, the weather being fair.
Saw a sail, and as it was not the first time by many, said to me, as I
had the helm, "Bear down to speak with him." I did so. He said, "Keep
her so and so." I said, "Sir, if you keep her so, you never will speak
with him." He begun to belch out, "What is that to thee? I say keep her
so." So as I had given up all hope of being landed there, I thought it
was time to take a little courage. I left go the helm, and said, "Keep
her so your self, if you please," and I immediately went below and
turned in in my cabin. In the course of a little time he came down and
said sume thing to me in a very surly manner. I answered, "Sir, you have
not behaved unto me as a man since I have been with you. I have answered
every end I engaged with you for, and much more so, and now I see you
are entirely off your word with me, as you know you was to land me in
the Mounts Bay, or a little to the East of the Lizard." He begun to bale
out, "Thou doste profess the spirit of Christe, but thou haste the
spirit of the devil," and so on in a great rage, my poor friend Dawson
presant fearing and trembling but dare not speak one word; and I have
thought that good man suffered during the voyage much more on my account
than I did myself. So I did not render railing for railing, said
nothing, or very little more. This was in the evning, and in the course
of aboute half hour after, when he come to himself, he came to me and
said in a very good humour, "I should be glad if you would turn out and
come on deck, I wants to speak with you." So he took me forward on the
bow out of the sight and hearing of any person, and said sumething to
this purpose: "I hope you'll think nothing of all that is past, and I am
going to tell you why I cannot be to my word with you to land you in the
Mounts Bay. I sarved my time to a hatter in London, and as there was a
brig there loaden with hats and other goods, I took her away under the
pretence of being supercargo, etc., unknown to the owners. I sold the
vessel and cargo in the West Indies, bought the sloop you see me come to
New York in, sold that sloop there, and bought what we are in at
present. I told you and others I was bound to London, but I meant to go
to Dunkerk and send for my wife to London. I mean to sell my cargo and
then to return to New York again, for if I am known in any part of
England I shall be apprehended and hanged. So now lett me beg you to
keep it a secret. And I have the favour likewayse, as you know there is
no draft for the Channel on board, I knows nothing of the Channel, and
the mate quite unacquainted, let me beg you to do your best to car the
vessel to Dunkerk." I answered, "I will do everything in my powar," etc.
These was the tener of our discourse, etc. So that when he had finished,
I thought I was allmoste lost in wonder and astonishement. I thought my
case was bad, but his tenthousands times worse. So I turned to work
again with a willing mind, knowing nothing should happen unto me
against the knowledge of God, nither without his permision, and I
believed all things should work together for my good, and so went on my
way, rejoicing and praising of God.