[Illustration]
_On Torrs Walks, Ilfracombe._--"Here they come by twos and twos, In
twos on Torrs they swarm." Quotation adapted. "Two" form a Company
Limited on Torrs Walks. The third person present is "out of it." They
tell me these couples are all honeymooners. Perhaps; but _if they are
not, they ought to be_. That's all.
* * *
Maybe these duologues are only private rehearsals. Practice makes
perfect. I have no special information on this mysterious subject.
* * *
_On the above-mentioned Honeymooners_--
"Marriages are made in heav'n,"
When begun in Northern Dev'n.
* * *
A descriptive writer says, "In the Torrs Walks are to be found the
most bracing spots in all Ilfracombe." From what I have accidentally
observed, I should correct the above sentence thus:--"_In the Torrs
Walks are to be found some of the most em-bracing spots in all
Ilfracombe_."
* * *
_Rara Avis in Torr-is._--Seldom are birds seen flying about, and
still fewer hopping about, the Torrs. My jocose friend WILLY
WAGSTAFF says "Birds only go 'hopping' in Kent." Good-bye to W.
W. Somehow, as a rule, the birds do not affect the Torrs. I fancy the
twopence for entry is a prohibition. Once I saw a lonely bird on the
_penny_ path; but _that_ was a pigeon.
* * *
I have seen a whole flock of rooks cawing querulously--"quirring" would
be a better descriptive participle--on and about the lower part of the
precipitous, rocky Torrs; but never have I seen them perching on the
highest point of the Torrs, which is as inaccessible to these birds
at twopence as would be the aforesaid lower portion to the unwinged
pedestrian even at a halfpenny; unless pedestrian should arrive at
rookery by accidentally tumbling over from above, in which case it is
much to be feared he would probably be "left till called for."
* * *
One of the most interesting sights on the Torrs is the occasional
appearance of a kindly gentleman, carrying a snow-white cockatoo, with
a magnificent yellow crest, perfectly tame, and perched on his owner's
wrist, just as the parrot used to perch on the wrist of our old friend
_Robinson Crusoe_.
* * *
The parrot, unchained, is a genuine "Bird of Freedom"; but he never
misuses his liberty, nor abuses his privilege of speech, but, from time
to time, he erects or lowers his crest, and expresses his approbation
of things in general, or his disapprobation of anything in particular.
A great companion this POLLY.
* * *
_Recent Solar Discovery._--I picked it up on Torrs Walks. The sun was
setting magnificently. Near me there stood, observing the effect, a
young lady and a very old one. Quoth the former, "It is a grand sun,
isn't it?" And the other replied, "It _is_ a grand-sun, indeed." Being
evidently a grandmamma, she ought to know.
* * *
Not knowing anything about the political bias of the majority at
Ilfracombe, I should say the voters must be chiefly Torr-ies.
* * *
Of the steamers plying between Ilfracombe, Swansea, Bristol, and other
neighbouring places, it cannot honestly be said that "they are no great
shakes." If the Master of the Rolls possesses any nautical authority,
it might be advantageously exercised in regard to some of these
steamers.
* * *
The rule for debarcation and embarcation (on the Swansea, Ilfracombe,
&c., steamers) appears to be, "Insure the least amount of convenience
to the greatest number possible." The inconvenience might be modified
(to put it gently) were the following suggestions acted upon:--
1st. From Ilfracombe pier there should be four sets of stairs (or more)
instead of two.
2nd. Make an upper and a lower deck to pier; the latter for shelter
during rain and storm. Your hardy sea-dogs seem to be perfectly unaware
of the existence of water descending from the clouds. With them the
rain is "_in nubibus_."
3rd. There should be two steamers to any one place, one departing
just a quarter of an hour before the other's arrival. Call them "Box"
and "Cox"--as they both occupy the same harbour. Thus the pier would
never be inconveniently, or dangerously, crowded by an outgoing and an
incoming crowd at the same moment.