THE END OF MR. DEUCEACE'S HISTORY. LIMBO.
My tail is droring rabidly to a close; my suvvice with Mr. Deuceace
didn't continyou very long after the last chapter, in which I described
my admiral strattyjam, and my singlar self-devocean. There's very few
servnts, I can tell you, who'd have thought of such a contrivance, and
very few moar would have eggsycuted it when thought of.
But, after all, beyond the trifling advantich to myself in selling
master's roab de sham, which you, gentle reader, may remember I woar,
and in dixcovering a fipun note in one of the pockets,--beyond this,
I say, there was to poar master very little advantich in what had been
done. It's true he had escaped. Very good. But Frans is not like Great
Brittin; a man in a livry coat, with 1 arm, is pretty easily known, and
caught, too, as I can tell you.
Such was the case with master. He coodn leave Paris, moarover, if he
would. What was to become, in that case, of his bride--his unchbacked
hairis? He knew that young lady's temprimong (as the Parishers say) too
well to let her long out of his site. She had nine thousand a yer.
She'd been in love a duzn times befor, and mite be agin. The Honrabble
Algernon Deuceace was a little too wide awake to trust much to the
constnsy of so very inflammable a young creacher. Heavn bless us, it was
a marycle she wasn't earlier married! I do bleave (from suttn seans
that past betwigst us) that she'd have married me, if she hadn't been
sejuiced by the supearor rank and indianuity of the genlmn in whose
survace I was.
Well, to use a commin igspreshn, the beaks were after him. How was he to
manitch? He coodn get away from his debts, and he wooden quit the fare
objict of his affeckshns. He was ableejd, then, as the French say, to
lie perdew,--going out at night, like a howl out of a hivy-bush, and
returning in the daytime to his roast. For its a maxum in France (and I
wood it were followed in Ingland), that after dark no man is lible for
his detts; and in any of the royal gardens--the Twillaries, the Pally
Roil, or the Lucksimbug, for example--a man may wander from sunrise to
evening, and hear nothing of the ojus dunns: they an't admitted into
these places of public enjyment and rondyvoo any more than dogs; the
centuries at the garden-gates having orders to shuit all such.
Master, then, was in this uncomfrable situation--neither liking to go
nor to stay! peeping out at nights to have an interview with his miss;
ableagd to shuffle off her repeated questions as to the reason of all
this disgeise, and to talk of his two thowsnd a year jest as if he had
it and didn't owe a shilling in the world.
Of course, now, he began to grow mighty eager for the marritch.
He roat as many noats as she had done befor; swoar against delay and
cerymony; talked of the pleasures of Hyming, the ardship that the ardor
of two arts should be allowed to igspire, the folly of waiting for the
consent of Lady Griffin. She was but a step-mother, and an unkind one.
Miss was (he said) a major, might marry whom she liked; and suttnly had
paid Lady G. quite as much attention as she ought, by paying her the
compliment to ask her at all.
And so they went on. The curious thing was, that when master was pressed
about his cause for not coming out till night-time, he was misterus;
and Miss Griffin, when asked why she wooden marry, igsprest, or rather,
DIDN'T igspress, a simlar secrasy. Wasn't it hard? the cup seemed to be
at the lip of both of 'em, and yet somehow, they could not manitch to
take a drink.
But one morning, in reply to a most desprat epistol wrote by my master
over night, Deuceace, delighted, gits an answer from his soal's beluffd,
which ran thus:--
MISS GRIFFIN TO THE HON. A. P. DEUCEACE.
“DEAREST,--You say you would share a cottage with me; there is no need,
luckily, for that! You plead the sad sinking of your spirits at
our delayed union. Beloved, do you think MY heart rejoices at our
separation? You bid me disregard the refusal of Lady Griffin, and tell
me that I owe her no further duty.
“Adored Algernon! I can refuse you no more. I was willing not to lose a
single chance of reconciliation with this unnatural step-mother. Respect
for the memory of my sainted father bid me do all in my power to gain
her consent to my union with you: nay, shall I own it? prudence dictated
the measure; for to whom should she leave the share of money accorded to
her by my father's will but to my father's child.
“But there are bounds beyond which no forbearance can go; and, thank
heaven, we have no need of looking to Lady Griffin for sordid wealth: we
have a competency without her. Is it not so, dearest Algernon?
“Be it as you wish, then, dearest, bravest, and best. Your poor Matilda
has yielded to you her heart long ago; she has no longer need to keep
back her name. Name the hour, and I will delay no more; but seek for
refuge in your arms from the contumely and insult which meet me ever
here.
“MATILDA.
“P.S. Oh, Algernon! if you did but know what a noble part your dear
father has acted throughout, in doing his best endeavors to further
our plans, and to soften Lady Griffin! It is not his fault that she is
inexorable as she is. I send you a note sent by her to Lord Crabs; we
will laugh at it soon, n'est-ce pas?”
II.
“MY LORD,--In reply to your demand for Miss Griffin's hand, in favor of
your son, Mr. Algernon Deuceace, I can only repeat what I before have
been under the necessity of stating to you,--that I do not believe a
union with a person of Mr. Deuceace's character would conduce to my
stepdaughter's happiness, and therefore REFUSE MY CONSENT. I will
beg you to communicate the contents of this note to Mr. Deuceace; and
implore you no more to touch upon a subject which you must be aware is
deeply painful to me.
“I remain your lordship's most humble servant,
“L. E. GRIFFIN.
“THE RIGHT HON. THE EARL OF CRABS.”
“Hang her ladyship!” says my master, “what care I for it?” As for the
old lord who'd been so afishous in his kindness and advice, master
recknsiled that pretty well, with thinking that his lordship knew he was
going to marry ten thousand a year, and igspected to get some share of
it; for he roat back the following letter to his father, as well as a
flaming one to Miss:
“Thank you, my dear father, for your kindness in that awkward business.
You know how painfully I am situated just now, and can pretty well guess
BOTH THE CAUSES of my disquiet. A marriage with my beloved Matilda will
make me the happiest of men. The dear girl consents, and laughs at
the foolish pretensions of her mother-in-law. To tell you the truth, I
wonder she yielded to them so long. Carry your kindness a step further,
and find for us a parson, a license, and make us two into one. We are
both major, you know; so that the ceremony of a guardian's consent is
unnecessary.
“Your affectionate
“ALGERNON DEUCEACE.
“How I regret that difference between us some time back! Matters are
changed now, and shall be more still AFTER THE MARRIAGE.”
I knew what my master meant,--that he would give the old lord the money
after he was married; and as it was probble that miss would see the
letter he roat, he made it such as not to let her see two clearly into
his present uncomfrable situation.
I took this letter along with the tender one for Miss, reading both
of 'em, in course, by the way. Miss, on getting hers, gave an
inegspressable look with the white of her i's, kist the letter, and
prest it to her busm. Lord Crabs read his quite calm, and then they
fell a-talking together; and told me to wait awhile, and I should git an
anser.
After a deal of counseltation, my lord brought out a card, and there was
simply written on it,
To-morrow, at the Ambassador's, at Twelve.
“Carry that back to your master, Chawls,” says he, “and bid him not to
fail.”
You may be sure I stept back to him pretty quick, and gave him the card
and the messinge. Master looked sattasfied with both; but suttnly
not over happy; no man is the day before his marridge; much more his
marridge with a hump-back, Harriss though she be.
Well, as he was a-going to depart this bachelor life, he did what every
man in such suckmstances ought to do; he made his will,--that is, he
made a dispasition of his property, and wrote letters to his creditors
telling them of his lucky chance; and that after his marridge he would
sutnly pay them every stiver. BEFORE, they must know his povvaty well
enough to be sure that paymint was out of the question.
To do him justas, he seam'd to be inclined to do the thing that was
right, now that it didn't put him to any inkinvenients to do so.
“Chawls,” says he, handing me over a tenpun-note, “here's your wagis,
and thank you for getting me out of the scrape with the bailiffs: when
you are married, you shall be my valet out of liv'ry, and I'll treble
your salary.”
His vallit! praps his butler! Yes, thought I, here's a chance--a vallit
to ten thousand a year. Nothing to do but to shave him, and read his
notes, and let my whiskers grow; to dress in spick and span black, and a
clean shut per day; muffings every night in the housekeeper's room; the
pick of the gals in the servants' hall; a chap to clean my boots for me,
and my master's opera bone reglar once a week. I knew what a vallit was
as well as any genlmn in service; and this I can tell you, he's genrally
a hapier, idler, handsomer, mor genlmnly man than his master. He
has more money to spend, for genlmn WILL leave their silver in their
waistcoat pockets; more suxess among the gals; as good dinners, and
as good wine--that is, if he's friends with the butler: and friends in
corse they will be if they know which way their interest lies.
But these are only cassels in the air, what the French call shutter
d'Espang. It wasn't roat in the book of fate that I was to be Mr.
Deuceace's vallit.
Days will pass at last--even days befor a wedding, (the longist and
unpleasantist day in the whole of a man's life, I can tell you, excep,
may be, the day before his hanging); and at length Aroarer dawned on
the suspicious morning which was to unite in the bonds of Hyming the
Honrable Algernon Percy Deuceace, Exquire, and Miss Matilda Griffin. My
master's wardrobe wasn't so rich as it had been; for he'd left the
whole of his nicknax and trumpry of dressing-cases and rob dy shams, his
bewtifle museum of varnished boots, his curous colleckshn of Stulz and
Staub coats, when he had been ableaged to quit so suddnly our pore dear
lodginx at the Hotel Mirabew; and being incog at a friend's house,
ad contentid himself with ordring a coople of shoots of cloves from a
common tailor, with a suffishnt quantaty of linning.
Well, he put on the best of his coats--a blue; and I thought it my duty
to ask him whether he'd want his frock again: he was good natured and
said, “Take it and be hanged to you.” Half-past eleven o'clock came,
and I was sent to look out at the door, if there were any suspicious
charicters (a precious good nose I have to find a bailiff out, I can
tell you, and an i which will almost see one round a corner); and
presenly a very modest green glass coach droave up, and in master
stept. I didn't in corse, appear on the box; because, being known, my
appearints might have compromised master. But I took a short cut, and
walked as quick as posbil down to the Rue de Foburg St. Honore, where
his exlnsy the English ambasdor lives, and where marridges are always
performed betwigst English folk at Paris.
. . . . . .
There is, almost nex door to the ambasdor's hotel, another hotel, of
that lo kind which the French call cabbyrays, or wine-houses; and jest
as master's green glass-coach pulled up, another coach drove off, out of
which came two ladies, whom I knew pretty well,--suffiz, that one had
a humpback, and the ingenious reader will know why SHE came there; the
other was poor Miss Kicksey, who came to see her turned off.
Well, master's glass-coach droav up, jest as I got within a few yards of
the door; our carridge, I say, droav up, and stopt. Down gits coachmin
to open the door, and comes I to give Mr. Deuceace an arm, when out
of the cabaray shoot four fellows, and draw up betwigst the coach and
embassy-doar; two other chaps go to the other doar of the carridge, and,
opening it, one says--“Rendez-vous, M. Deuceace! Je vous arrete au nom
de la loi!” (which means, “Get out of that, Mr. D.; you are nabbed and
no mistake.”) Master turned gashly pail, and sprung to the other side
of the coach, as if a serpint had stung him. He flung open the door, and
was for making off that way; but he saw the four chaps standing betwigst
libbarty and him. He slams down the front window, and screams out,
“Fouettez, cocher!” (which means, “Go it, coachmm!”) in a despert loud
voice; but coachmin wooden go it, and besides was off his box.
The long and short of the matter was, that jest as I came up to the door
two of the bums jumped into the carridge. I saw all; I knew my duty, and
so very mornfly I got up behind.
“Tiens,” says one of the chaps in the street; “c'est ce drole qui nous a
floure l'autre jour.” I knew 'em, but was too melumcolly to smile.
“Ou irons-nous donc?” says coachmin to the genlmn who had got inside.
A deep woice from the intearor shouted out, in reply to the coachmin, “A
SAINTE PELAGIE!”
. . . . . .
And now, praps, I ot to dixcribe to you the humors of the prizn of
Sainte Pelagie, which is the French for Fleat, or Queen's Bentch: but on
this subject I'm rather shy of writing, partly because the admiral Boz
has, in the history of Mr. Pickwick, made such a dixcripshun of a prizn,
that mine wooden read very amyousingly afterwids; and, also, because,
to tell you the truth, I didn't stay long in it, being not in a humer to
waist my igsistance by passing away the ears of my youth in such a dull
place.
My fust errint now was, as you may phansy, to carry a noat from master
to his destined bride. The poar thing was sadly taken aback, as I can
tell you, when she found, after remaining two hours at the Embassy, that
her husband didn't make his appearance. And so, after staying on and on,
and yet seeing no husband, she was forsed at last to trudge dishconslit
home, where I was already waiting for her with a letter from my master.
There was no use now denying the fact of his arrest, and so he confest
it at onst: but he made a cock-and-bull story of treachery of a friend,
infimous fodgery, and heaven knows what. However, it didn't matter much;
if he had told her that he had been betrayed by the man in the moon, she
would have bleavd him.
Lady Griffin never used to appear now at any of my visits. She kep one
drawing-room, and Miss dined and lived alone in another; they quarld so
much that praps it was best they should live apart; only my Lord Crabs
used to see both, comforting each with that winning and innsnt way he
had. He came in as Miss, in tears, was lisning to my account of master's
seazure, and hoping that the prisn wasn't a horrid place, with a nasty
horrid dunjeon, and a dreadfle jailer, and nasty horrid bread and water.
Law bless us! she had borrod her ideers from the novvles she had been
reading!
“O my lord, my lord,” says she, “have you heard this fatal story?”
“Dearest Matilda, what? For heaven's sake, you alarm me!
What--yes--no--is it--no, it can't be! Speak!” says my lord, seizing me
by the choler of my coat. “What has happened to my boy?”
“Please you, my lord,” says I, “he's at this moment in prisn, no
wuss,--having been incarserated about two hours ago.”
“In prison! Algernon in prison! 'tis impossible! Imprisoned, for what
sum? Mention it, and I will pay to the utmost farthing in my power.”
“I'm sure your lordship is very kind,” says I (recklecting the sean
betwixgst him and master, whom he wanted to diddil out of a thowsand
lb.); “and you'll be happy to hear he's only in for a trifle. Five
thousand pound is, I think, pretty near the mark.”
“Five thousand pounds!--confusion!” says my lord, clasping his hands,
and looking up to heaven, “and I have not five hundred! Dearest Matilda,
how shall we help him?”
“Alas, my lord, I have but three guineas, and you know how Lady Griffin
has the--”
“Yes, my sweet child, I know what you would say; but be of good
cheer--Algernon, you know, has ample funds of his own.”
Thinking my lord meant Dawkins's five thousand, of which, to be sure, a
good lump was left, I held my tung; but I cooden help wondering at Lord
Crabs's igstream compashn for his son, and Miss, with her 10,000L. a
year, having only 3 guineas is her pockit.
I took home (bless us, what a home!) a long and very inflamble letter
from Miss, in which she dixscribed her own sorror at the disappointment;
swoar she lov'd him only the moar for his misfortns; made light of them;
as a pusson for a paltry sum of five thousand pound ought never to be
cast down, 'specially as he had a certain independence in view; and
vowed that nothing, nothing, should ever injuice her to part from him,
etsettler, etsettler.
I told master of the conversation which had past betwigst me and my
lord, and of his handsome offers, and his horrow at hearing of his son's
being taken; and likewise mentioned how strange it was that Miss should
only have 3 guineas, and with such a fortn: bless us, I should have thot
that she would always have carried a hundred thowsnd lb. in her pockit!
At this master only said Pshaw! But the rest of the story about his
father seemed to dixquiet him a good deal, and he made me repeat it over
agin.
He walked up and down the room agytated, and it seam'd as if a new lite
was breaking in upon him.
“Chawls,” says he, “did you observe--did Miss--did my father seem
PARTICULARLY INTIMATE with Miss Griffin?”
“How do you mean, sir?” says I.
“Did Lord Crabs appear very fond of Miss Griffin?”
“He was suttnly very kind to her.”
“Come, sir, speak at once: did Miss Griffin seem very fond of his
lordship?”
“Why, to tell the truth, sir, I must say she seemed VERY fond of him.”
“What did he call her?”
“He called her his dearest gal.”
“Did he take her hand?”
“Yes, and he--”
“And he what?”
“He kist her, and told her not to be so wery down-hearted about the
misfortn which had hapnd to you.”
“I have it now!” says he, clinching his fist, and growing gashly
pail--“I have it now--the infernal old hoary scoundrel! the wicked,
unnatural wretch! He would take her from me!” And he poured out a volley
of oaves which are impossbill to be repeatid here.
I thot as much long ago: and when my lord kem with his vizits so
pretious affeckshnt at my Lady Griffinses, I expected some such game
was in the wind. Indeed, I'd heard a somethink of it from the Griffinses
servnts, that my lord was mighty tender with the ladies.
One thing, however, was evident to a man of his intleckshal capassaties;
he must either marry the gal at onst, or he stood very small chance
of having her. He must get out of limbo immediantly, or his respectid
father might be stepping into his vaykint shoes. Oh! he saw it all
now--the fust attempt at arest, the marridge fixt at 12 o'clock, and
the bayliffs fixt to come and intarup the marridge!--the jewel, praps,
betwigst him and De l'Orge: but no, it was the WOMAN who did that--a
MAN don't deal such fowl blows, igspecially a father to his son: a woman
may, poar thing!--she's no other means of reventch, and is used to fight
with underhand wepns all her life through.
Well, whatever the pint might be, this Deuceace saw pretty clear that
he'd been beat by his father at his own game--a trapp set for him
onst, which had been defitted by my presnts of mind--another trap set
afterwids, in which my lord had been suxesfle. Now, my lord, roag as he
was, was much too good-natured to do an unkind ackshn, mearly for
the sake of doing it. He'd got to that pich that he didn't mind
injaries--they were all fair play to him--he gave 'em, and reseav'd
them, without a thought of mallis. If he wanted to injer his son, it was
to benefick himself. And how was this to be done? By getting the hairiss
to himself, to be sure. The Honrabble Mr. D. didn't say so; but I knew
his feelinx well enough--he regretted that he had not given the old
genlmn the money he askt for.
Poar fello! he thought he had hit it; but he was wide of the mark after
all.
Well, but what was to be done? It was clear that he must marry the gal
at any rate--cootky coot, as the French say: that is, marry her, and
hang the igspence.
To do so he must first git out of prisn--to get out of prisn he must
pay his debts--and to pay his debts, he must give every shilling he
was worth. Never mind: four thousand pound is a small stake to a reglar
gambler, igspecially when he must play it, or rot for life in prisn; and
when, if he plays it well, it will give him ten thousand a year.
So, seeing there was no help for it, he maid up his mind, and
accordingly wrote the follying letter to Miss Griffin:--
“MY ADORED MATILDA,--Your letter has indeed been a comfort to a poor
fellow, who had hoped that this night would have been the most blessed
in his life, and now finds himself condemned to spend it within a
prison wall! You know the accursed conspiracy which has brought these
liabilities upon me, and the foolish friendship which has cost me so
much. But what matters! We have, as you say, enough, even though I
must pay this shameful demand upon me; and five thousand pounds are as
nothing, compared to the happiness which I lose in being separated a
night from thee! Courage, however! If I make a sacrifice it is for you;
and I were heartless indeed if I allowed my own losses to balance for a
moment against your happiness.
“Is it not so, beloved one? IS not your happiness bound up with mine,
in a union with me? I am proud to think so--proud, too, to offer such a
humble proof as this of the depth and purity of my affection.
“Tell me that you will still be mine; tell me that you will be mine
tomorrow; and to-morrow these vile chains shall be removed, and I will
be free once more--or if bound, only bound to you! My adorable Matilda!
my betrothed bride! Write to me ere the evening closes, for I shall
never be able to shut my eyes in slumber upon my prison couch, until
they have been first blessed by the sight of a few words from thee!
Write to me, love! write to me! I languish for the reply which is to
make or mar me for ever. Your affectionate
“A. P. D.”
Having polisht off this epistol, master intrustid it to me to carry,
and bade me at the same time to try and give it into Miss Griffin's hand
alone. I ran with it to Lady Griffinses. I found Miss, as I desired, in
a sollatary condition; and I presented her with master's pafewmed Billy.
She read it, and the number of size to which she gave vint, and the
tears which she shed, beggar digscription. She wep and sighed until I
thought she would bust. She even claspt my hand in her's, and said, “O
Charles! is he very, very miserable?”
“He is, ma'am,” says I; “very miserable indeed--nobody, upon my honor,
could be miserablerer.”
On hearing this pethetic remark, her mind was made up at onst: and
sitting down to her eskrewtaw, she immediantly ableaged master with an
answer. Here it is in black and white:
“My prisoned bird shall pine no more, but fly home to its nest in these
arms! Adored Algernon, I will meet thee to-morrow, at the same place, at
the same hour. Then, then, it will be impossible for aught but death to
divide us.
“M. G.”
This kind of flumry style comes, you see, of reading novvles, and
cultivating littery purshuits in a small way. How much better is it
to be puffickly ignorant of the hart of writing, and to trust to the
writing of the heart. This is MY style: artyfiz I despise, and trust
compleatly to natur: but revnong a no mootong, as our continential
friends remark: to that nice white sheep, Algernon Percy Deuceace,
Exquire; that wenrabble old ram, my Lord Crabs his father; and that
tender and dellygit young lamb, Miss Matilda Griffin.
She had just foalded up into its proper triangular shape the noat
transcribed abuff, and I was just on the point of saying, according to
my master's orders, “Miss, if you please, the Honrabble Mr. Deuceace
would be very much ableaged to you to keep the seminary which is to take
place to-morrow a profound se--,” when my master's father entered, and I
fell back to the door. Miss, without a word, rusht into his arms, burst
into teers agin, as was her reglar way (it must be confest she was of
a very mist constitution), and showing to him his son's note, cried,
“Look, my dear lord, how nobly your Algernon, OUR Algernon, writes
to me. Who can doubt, after this, of the purity of his matchless
affection?”
My lord took the letter, read it, seamed a good deal amyoused, and
returning it to its owner, said, very much to my surprise, “My dear Miss
Griffin, he certainly does seem in earnest; and if you choose to make
this match without the consent of your mother-in-law, you know the
consequence, and are of course your own mistress.”
“Consequences!--for shame, my lord! A little money, more or less, what
matters it to two hearts like ours?”
“Hearts are very pretty things, my sweet young lady, but Three-per-Cents
are better.”
“Nay, have we not an ample income of our own, without the aid of Lady
Griffin?”
My lord shrugged his shoulders. “Be it so, my love,” says he. “I'm sure
I can have no other reason to prevent a union which is founded upon such
disinterested affection.”
And here the conversation dropt. Miss retired, clasping her hands, and
making play with the whites of her i's. My lord began trotting up and
down the room, with his fat hands stuck in his britchis pockits, his
countnince lighted up with igstream joy, and singing, to my inordnit
igstonishment:
“See the conquering hero comes!
Tiddy diddy doll--tiddy doll, doll, doll.”
He began singing this song, and tearing up and down the room like mad.
I stood amazd--a new light broke in upon me. He wasn't going, then, to
make love to Miss Griffin! Master might marry her! Had she not got the
for--?
I say, I was just standing stock still, my eyes fixt, my hands
puppindicklar, my mouf wide open and these igstrordinary thoughts
passing in my mind, when my lord having got to the last “doll” of his
song, just as I came to the sillible “for” of my ventriloquism, or
inward speech--we had eatch jest reached the pint digscribed, when the
meditations of both were sudnly stopt, by my lord, in the midst of his
singin and trottin match, coming bolt up aginst poar me, sending me up
aginst one end of the room, himself flying back to the other: and it
was only after considrabble agitation that we were at length restored to
anything like a liquilibrium.
“What, YOU here, you infernal rascal?” says my lord.
“Your lordship's very kind to notus me,” says I; “I am here.” And I gave
him a look.
He saw I knew the whole game.
And after whisling a bit, as was his habit when puzzled (I bleave
he'd have only whisled if he had been told he was to be hanged in five
minits), after whisling a bit, he stops sudnly, and coming up to me,
says:
“Hearkye, Charles, this marriage must take place to-morrow.”
“Must it, sir?” says I; “now, for my part, I don't think--”
“Stop, my good fellow; if it does not take place, what do you gain?”
This stagger'd me. If it didn't take place, I only lost a situation, for
master had but just enough money to pay his detts; and it wooden soot my
book to serve him in prisn or starving.
“Well,” says my lord, “you see the force of my argument. Now, look
here!” and he lugs out a crisp, fluttering, snowy HUNDRED-PUN NOTE! “If
my son and Miss Griffin are married to-morrow, you shall have this; and
I will, moreover, take you into my service, and give you double your
present wages.”
Flesh and blood cooden bear it. “My lord,” says I, laying my hand upon
my busm, “only give me security, and I'm yours for ever.”
The old noblemin grin'd, and pattid me on the shoulder. “Right, my
lad,” says he, “right--you're a nice promising youth. Here is the best
security.” And he pulls out his pockit-book, returns the hundred-pun
bill, and takes out one for fifty. “Here is half to-day; to-morrow you
shall have the remainder.”
My fingers trembled a little as I took the pretty fluttering bit of
paper, about five times as big as any sum of money I had ever had in my
life. I cast my i upon the amount: it was a fifty sure enough--a bank
poss-bill, made payable to Leonora Emilia Griffin, and indorsed by her.
The cat was out of the bag. Now, gentle reader, I spose you begin to see
the game.
“Recollect, from this day you are in my service.”
“My lord, you overpoar me with your faviors.”
“Go to the devil, sir,” says he: “do your duty, and hold your tongue.”
And thus I went from the service of the Honorabble Algernon Deuceace to
that of his exlnsy the Right Honorabble Earl of Crabs.
. . . . . .
On going back to prisn, I found Deuceace locked up in that oajus place
to which his igstravygansies had deservedly led him; and felt for him, I
must say, a great deal of contemp. A raskle such as he--a swindler, who
had robbed poar Dawkins of the means of igsistance; who had cheated his
fellow-roag, Mr. Richard Blewitt, and who was making a musnary marridge
with a disgusting creacher like Miss Griffin, didn merit any compashn on
my purt; and I determined quite to keep secret the suckmstansies of my
privit intervew with his exlnsy my presnt master.
I gev him Miss Griffinses trianglar, which he read with a satasfied air.
Then, turning to me, says he: “You gave this to Miss Griffin alone?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You gave her my message?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And you are quite sure Lord Crabs was not there when you gave either
the message or the note?”
“Not there upon my honor,” says I.
“Hang your honor, sir! Brush my hat and coat, and go CALL A COACH--do
you hear?”
. . . . . .
I did as I was ordered; and on coming back found master in what's
called, I think, the greffe of the prisn. The officer in waiting had
out a great register, and was talking to master in the French tongue, in
coarse; a number of poar prisners were looking eagerly on.
“Let us see, my lor,” says he; “the debt is 98,700 francs; there are
capture expenses, interest so much; and the whole sum amounts to a
hundred thousand francs, moins 13.”
Deuceace, in a very myjestic way, takes out of his pocketbook four
thowsnd pun notes. “This is not French money, but I presume that you
know it, M. Greffier,” says he.
The greffier turned round to old Solomon, a money-changer, who had one
or two clients in the prisn, and hapnd luckily to be there. “Les billets
sont bons,” says he. “Je les prendrai pour cent mille douze cent francs,
et j'espere, my lor, de vous revoir.”
“Good,” says the greffier; “I know them to be good, and I will give my
lor the difference, and make out his release.”
Which was done. The poar debtors gave a feeble cheer, as the great
dubble iron gates swung open and clang to again, and Deuceace stept out
and me after him, to breathe the fresh hair.
He had been in the place but six hours, and was now free again--free,
and to be married to ten thousand a year nex day. But, for all that, he
lookt very faint and pale. He HAD put down his great stake; and when he
came out of Sainte Pelagie, he had but fifty pounds left in the world!
Never mind--when onst the money's down, make your mind easy; and so
Deuceace did. He drove back to the Hotel Mirabew, where he ordered
apartmince infinately more splendid than befor; and I pretty soon told
Toinette, and the rest of the suvvants, how nobly he behayved, and how
he valyoud four thousnd pound no more than ditch water. And such was the
consquincies of my praises, and the poplarity I got for us boath, that
the delighted landlady immediantly charged him dubble what she would
have done, if it hadn been for my stoaries.
He ordered splendid apartmince, then, for the nex week; a
carridge-and-four for Fontainebleau to-morrow at 12 precisely; and
having settled all these things, went quietly to the “Roshy de Cancale,”
where he dined: as well he might, for it was now eight o'clock. I
didn't spare the shompang neither that night, I can tell you; for when
I carried the note he gave me for Miss Griffin in the evening, informing
her of his freedom, that young lady remarked my hagitated manner of
walking and speaking, and said, “Honest Charles! he is flusht with the
events of the day. Here, Charles, is a napoleon; take it and drink to
your mistress.”
I pockitid it; but, I must say, I didn't like the money--it went against
my stomick to take it.