(_A complaint has been voiced in the Press that uncommon wedding
presents are getting much too common._)
We fixed our hymeneal day,
Bespoke our nuptial cates
And summoned to the solemn fray
The necessary glum array
Of kin and intimates.
And the more part in their degree
Gave gladly gifts of pride,
Tall silver ships, complete with sea,
And birds of aureate filigree,
Pearl-winged and opal-eyed.
Sheffield they gave, a grievous load,
And Chelsea, flower'd and spruce,
And antique thingummies in spode;
The only thing that none bestowed
Was anything of use.
Fled is the hope we built too soon
Of some sub-tropic trek;
Farewell, O azure honeymoon,
The dull but necessary spoon
Claims the paternal cheque.
* * * * *
Our Latest Cinema Poster.
"WHEN THE EARTH TREMBLED
For six days at great expense."
The longest earthquake on record.
* * * * *
[Illustration: NEPTUNE'S ALLY.
(_The FIRST LORD OF THE ADMIRALTY calls in a new element to redress the
balance of the old._)
* * * * *
[Illustration: ULSTER, DAY BY DAY: MONDAY.
"Now, gents, what offers for this really prime Irish pig? Guaranteed by
Mr. DEVLIN. You may examine its points as soon as you've bought it." [No
business.]]
* * * * *