ring; now depositing a few cool hundreds in the pockets of a sporting
Priestley bookseller, or the brother of a Westminster Abbott; now
contributing a small modicum to brighten the humbler speculations of the
Dean-street casemen, or the Battersea gardener.
"But to this conclusion Horatio would not come. He was good for backing
and betting on pugilists, but on the turf he would do little, and at the
tables nothing. His zealous friends had therefore no chance in the way
they would have liked best; but being men of the world, and knowing,
like Gay's bear, that
'There might be picking
Ev'n in the carving of a chicken,'
they did not disdain to make the most in their power by watching the
motions of his hobby, and if this was not a sufficient prize to furnish
much cause for exultation, it was at least one that it would have been
unwise to reject.
"A contemporary writer has exerted to the utmost the very little talent
he possesses to represent the peagreen's uniform resistance to all the
temptations of cards and dice, as a proof of his possessing a strength
of mind and decision of character rarely found in young men of his
fortune and time of life. In the elegant language of this apologist, the
count, by this prudent abstinence, 'has shown himself not half so green
as some supposed, and the sharps, and those who have tried on the
grand mace with him, have discovered that he was no flat.' How far this
negative eulogium may be gratifying to the feelings of the individual
on whom it is bestowed, I will not say; in my character of English Spy
I have been under the necessity of carefully observing this fortunate
youth, _depuis que la rose venait d'eclore_, in other words, from the
time that he became, or rather might ~202~~have become, his own master;
and I should certainly not attribute his refraining from the tables to
any superior strength of mind: indeed, it would be singular if such a
characteristic belonged to a man whose own hired advocate could only
vindicate his client's heart at the expense of his head. Pope tells us,
that to form a just estimate of any one's character, we must study
his ruling passion; and by adopting this rule, we shall soon obtain
a satisfactory clew both to the exquisite count's penchant for the
prize-ring, and his aversion to the _hells_. Some persons exhibit
an inexplicable union of avarice and extravagance, of parsimony and
prodigality--something of this kind is observable in the gentleman in
question. But self predominates with him in all; and being joined to
rather alow species of vanity, and a strong inclination to be what is
vulgarly called _cock of the walk_, it has uniformly displayed itself in
an insatiate thirst for notoriety. Now pugilists, from the very nature
of their profession, must be public characters; while the gamester, to
the utmost of his power, does what he does 'by stealth, and blushes to
find it fame.' To be the patron of some noted bruiser, to bear him to
the field of action in your travelling barouche, accompanied by Tom Crib
the XX champion, Tom Spring the X champion, Jack Langan and Tom Cannon
the would-be champions, and Lily White Richmond, is sure to make your
name as notorious, though perhaps not much more reputable, than those
of your associates; but the man who, like 'the youth that fired the
Ephesian dome,' aims at celebrity alone, in frequenting the purlieus
of the gaming-house only 'wastes his sweetness on the desert air.'
Moreover, the members of the Ebony Clubs being compelled to assume the
appearance, and adopt the manners, insensibly imbibe too much of the
feelings of gentlemen, to be likely to pay, to the most passive _pigeon_
that ever submitted to _rooking_, the cap in hand homage rendered by a
~203~~practitioner within the pins and binders of the prize-ring to the
swell who takes five pounds worth of benefit tickets, or stands a fifty
in the stakes for a milling match.
"These motives seem to me sufficient to have prompted the count's
predominating attachment to the prize-ring and its heroes, which,
however, having as I have before remarked, been viewed with no
favourable eye by some of his comrades, his recent ill-luck at Warwick
could hardly be expected to escape the jests and sarcasms of his bottle
companions."
"'Fore God," said Optimus, "this backing of your man against the black
diamond has been but a bad spec. Out heavyish I suppose, ay, Joe?"
Count. Why, a stiffish bout, I must confess; and what's more, I'm not by
any means without my suspicions about the correctness of the thing.
Optimus. What, cross and jostle work again? a second edition of Virginia
Water? But I thought you felt assured that Cannon would not do wrong for
the wealth of Windsor Castle?
Count. True, I did feel so, and others confirmed me in my assurance,
but I believe I was wofully mistaken; and curse me if I don't think they
were all in the concern of doing me.
Optimus. Was not there a floating report about the bargeman receiving a
thousand to throw it over?
Count. Something of the sort; but 1 don't believe it. Two bills for
five hundred, but so drawn that they could not be negotiated. I shall
certainly, said the count, give notice to the stake-holders not to give
up the battle-money for the present.
Optimus. Pshaw! that will never do. A thing of that nature must be done
at the time. Besides, Cannon stood two hundred in his own money, and
says he will freely pay his losses.
Count. A pretty do that, when he had a cheque ~204~~of mine for the sum
he put down. But I've stopped payment of that at my banker's.
Optimus. And will as surely be obliged to revoke that order, as well as
to give up disputing the stakes. No, no, Joe; get out of the business
now as you can, and cut it. I always thought and told you, that I
thought your man had no chance. But his going to fight so out of
condition, in a contest where all his physical powers were necessary,
does look as if you had been put in for a piece of ready made luck. But
what could you expect? Can any good thing come out of Nazareth? That a
gentleman can patronize such fellows!
Count. I am still of opinion that the spirit of national courage is much
promoted--------
Optimus. Spirit of a fiddle-stick! Nonsense, man; that card will win
no trick now. You, like others might have thought so once; but you have
seen enough by this time to know that the system is on altogether a
different tack; that its stanchest upholders and admirers are bullies,
sharpers, pickpockets, pothouse keepers, coachmen, fradulent bankrupts,
the Jon Bee's and big B's, and all the lowest B's of society in station
and character, whose only merit, if such it can be called, is the open
disclaiming of any thing like honour or principle. And after having been
a patron of such a set of wretches, you will end by becoming, according
to circumstances, the object of their vulgar abuse, or the butt of their
coarse ridicule.
"The latter, I understand,"said Lord William, "is pretty much the case
already. A friend of mine was telling me, that one of the precious
brotherhood, on hearing that Joe meant to dispute his bets, asked what
better could be expected from a Foote-mam out of place?"
"No more of that, Hal, if thou lovest him," exclaimed Optimus, who
immediately perceived, by his ~205~~countenance, that the last hit
had been too hard. Much more has been said upon this affair than it is
worth. Let us change the subject.
"By my conscience," exclaimed the lieutenant, "and here's an excellent
episode to wind up the drama with, headed, 'The Foote Ball's farewell
to the Ring:' I'll read it you, with permission, and afterwards,
colonel, you shall have a copy of it for next Sunday's 'Age;' it will
save the magnanimous little B., your accommodating editor, or his locum
tenens, the fat Gent, the trouble of straining their own weak noddles to
produce any more soft attempts at the scandalous and the sarcastic.
"By the honour of my ancestry," rejoined the Gloucestershire colonel,
"do you take me for a reporter to the paper in question?"
"Why not?" said the lieutenant, coolly: "if you are not a reporter and
a supporter too, my gallant friend, by the powers of Poll Kelly but you
are the most ill-used man in his majesty's dominions!"
"Sir, I stand upon my honour," said the colonel, petulantly.
"By the powers, you may, and very easily too," whispered O'Farellan,
in a side speech to his left hand companion; "for it has been trodden
under Foote by others these many months. To be plain with you,
colonel, there are certain big whispers abroad, that you and your noble
associate, the amiable yonder, with that beautiful obliquity of vision,
which is said to have pierced the heart of a northern syren, are the
joint Telegraphs of the Age. Sure no man in his senses can suspect
Messieurs the Conducteurs of knowing any thing of what passes in
polished life, or think--
"Ah, my dear Wewitzer," said Belle Harriet, now Mrs. Goutts, speaking to
the late comedian, of some female friend, "she has an eye! an eye, that
would pierce through a deal board." "By heavens," said Wewitzer, "that
must be then a gimhlet eye." ~206~~of charging them with any personal
knowledge of the amusing incidents they pretend to relate, beyond
a certain little wanton's green room _on dits_, or the chaste
conversations of the blushless naiads who sport and frolic in the
Cytherian mysteries which are nightly performed in the dark groves of
Vauxhall. Take a word of advice from an old soldier, colonel: It is
worse than leading a forlorn hope to attempt to storm a garrison single
handed; club secrets must be protected by club laws, for 'tis an old
Eton maxim, that tales told out of school generally bring the relater to
the block. But my friend Stanhope will no doubt explain this matter with
a much better grace when he comes in contact with the tale-bearer."
"Hem," instinctively ejaculated Horace C-----t, the once elegant Apollo
of Hyde Park, "thereby hangs a tale; 'tis a vile Age, and the sooner
we forget it, the better--I am for love and peace." "i.e. a piece"
responded the lieutenant. Horace smiled, and continued, "Come, Tom
Duncombe, I'll give our mutual favourite, the female Giovanni. Lads,
fill your glasses; we toast a deity, and one, too, who has equal claims
upon most of us for the everlasting favours she has conferred."
"'Fore Gad, lieutenant," simpered out Lord William, squaring himself
round to resume the conversation with the veteran, "if you do not
mind your hits, we must positively cut. My friend, the colonel, will
certainly set his blacks{5} upon you, and I shall be obliged to speak
to little magnanimous, the ex-Brummagem director, to strike off a
counterfeit impression of you in his scandalous Sunday chronicle, 'pon
honour, I must."
5 A very curious tradition is connected with a certain
castle near Gloucester, which foretells, that the family
name shall be extinct when the race of the blacks* cease to
be peculiar to the family; a prophecy that I think not very
likely to be fulfilled, judging by the conduct of the
present race of representatives.
* A species of Danish blood-hound, whose portraits and names
are carved in the oaken cornice of one of the castle
chambers.
~207~~"The divil a care," said the lieutenant, laughingly; "to arms with
you, my lord William; my fire engine will soon damp the ardour of little
magnanimous, and an extra dose of Tom Bish's compounds put his friend,
the fat Gent, where his readers have long been, in sweet somniferous
repose. But zounds, gentlemen, I am forgetting the count, whose pardon I
crave, for bestowing my attention on minor constellations while indulged
with the overpowering brilliancy of his meteoric presence."
"The 'Farewell to the Ring,'" vociferated the count. "Come, lieutenant,
give us the episode: I long to hear all my misfortunes strung together
in rhyme."
"By the powers, you shall have it, then; and a true history it is, as
ever was said or sung in church, chapel, or conventicle, with only one
little exception--by the free use of poetic license, the satirist has
fixed his hero in a very embarrassing situation--just locked him up at
Radford's steel Hotel in Carey Street, Chancery Lane, coning over a long
bill of John Long's, and a still longer one of the lawyers, with a sort
of codicil, by way of refresher, of the house charges, and a smoking
detainer tacked on to its tail, by Hookah Hudson, long enough to put any
gentleman's pipe out.
[Illustration: page207]
There's the argument, programme, or fable. Now for the characters; they
are all drawn from the life by the English Spy (see plate), under the
amusing title of 'Morning, and in Low Spirits, a scene in a Lock-up
House;' a very appropriate spot for a lament to the past, and
"'Tis past, and the sun of my glory is set.
How changed in my case is the fortune of war!
With no money to back, and no credit to bet,
No more in the Fancy I shine forth a star.
~208~~
"Accursed be the day when my bargeman I brought
To fight with Jos. Hudson!--the thought is a sting.
I sighing exclaim, by experience taught,
Farewell to Tom Cannon, farewell to the ring!
"By the Blackwater vict'ry made drunk with success,
Endless visions of milling enchanted my nob;
I thought my luck in: so I could do no less
Than match 'gainst the Streatham my White-headed Bob.
"I've some reason to think that there, too, I was done;
For it oft has been hinted that battle was cross'd:
But I well know that all which at Yately I won,
With a thousand _en outre_ at Bagshot I lost.
"At Warwick a turn in my favour again
Appear'd, and my crest I anew rear'd with pride;
Hudson's efforts to conquer my bargeman were vain,
I took the _long odds_, and I floor'd _the flash side_.
"But with training, and treating, and sparring, and paying
For all through the nose, as most do in beginning
Their fancy career, I am borne out in saying,
I was quite out of pocket in spite of my winning.
"So when Bob fought old George, being shortish of money,
And bearing in mem'ry the Bagshot affair,
In my former pal's stakes I stood only _a pony_,
(Which was never return'd, so I'm done again there).
"To be perfectly safe, on the old one I betted;
For the knowing ones told me the thing was made right:
If it had been, a good bit of blunt I'd have netted;
But a double X spoilt it, and Bob won the fight.
~209~~
"But the famed stage of Warwick, and Ward, were before me--
I look'd at Tom Cannon, and thought of the past;
I was sure he must win, and that wealth would show'r o'er me,
So, like Richard, I set all my hopes on a cast;
"And the die was soon thrown, and my luck did not alter--
I was floor'd at all points, and my hopes were a hum;
I'm at Tattersall's all but believed a defaulter,
And here, in a spunging house, shut by a bum.
"'Mid the lads of the fancy I needs must aspire
To be quite _au fait_; and I have scarcely seen
Of mills half a score, ere I'm fore'd to retire--
O thou greenest among all the green ones, Pea Green!
"And what have I gain'd, but the queer reputation
Of a whimsical dandy, half foolish, half flash?
To bruisers and sharpers, in high and low station,
A poor easy dupe, till deprived of my cash.
"All you who would enter the circle I've quitted,
Reflect on my fate, and think what you're about:
By brib'ry betray'd, or by cunning outwitted,
In the Fancy each novice is quickly clean'd out.
"For me it has lost its attractions and lustre;
The thing's done with me, and I've done with the thing:
The blunt for my bets I must manage to muster,
Then farewell to Tom Cannon, farewell to the ring!"
The reading of this morceau produced, as might have been expected,
considerable merriment on the ~210~~one hand, and some little discussion
upon the other; the angry feelings of the commander in chief and his
pals overbalancing the mirthful by their solemnly protesting against the
exposure of the secrets of the prison house, which, in this instance,
they contended, were violently distorted by some enemy to the modern
accomplishment of pugilism. In a few moments all was chaos, and the
stormy confusion of tongues, prophetk: of the affair ending in a grand
display and milling catastrophe; the apprehensions of which induced John
Long, and John Long's man, to be on the alert in removing the service,
_en suite_, of superb cut glass, which had given an additional lustre to
the splendour of the dessert. The arrival of other characters, and the
good humour of the count, joined to a plentiful supply of soda water and
iced punch, had, however, the effect of cooling the malcontents, who had
no sooner recovered their wonted hilarity, than old Crony proceeded
to particularize, by a comparison of the past with the present,
interspersing his remarks with anecdotes of the surrounding group.
"These are your modern men of fashion," said Crony; "and the specimen
you have this day had of their conduct and pursuits an authority you may
safely quote as one generally characteristic.
'To support this new fashion in circles of _ton_. New habits, new
thoughts, must of course be put on; Taste, feeling, and friendship, laid
by on the shelf, And nothing or worshipp'd, or thought of, but--self.'
[Illustration: page210]
"It was not thus in the days of our ancestors: the farther we look back,
the purer honour was. In the days of chivalry, a love promise was a law;
the braver the knight, the truer in love: then, too, religion, delicacy,
sentiment, romantic passion, disinterested friendship, loyalty to king,
love of country, a thirst for fame, bravery, nay, heroism, characterized
~211~~the age, the nation, the noble, the knight, and esquire. Mercy!
what 'squires we have now-a-days! At a more recent date, all was
courtliness, feeling, high sentiment, proud and lofty bearing,
principle, the word inviolable, politeness at its highest pitch of
refinement: lovers perished to defend their ladies' honour; now they
live to sully it: the nobility and the people were distinct in dress
and address; but, above all, amenity and good-breeding marked the
distinction, and the line was unbroken. Now, dress is all confusion,
address far below par, amenity is a dead letter, and as to breeding, it
is confined to the breeding of horses and dogs, except when law steps in
to encourage the breeding of disputes; not to mention the evils arising
from crossing the old breed; nor can we much wonder at it, when we
reflect on the altered way of life, the change of habits, and the
declension of virtue, arising from these very causes.
'Each hopeful hero now essays to start
To spoil the intellect, destroy the heart,
To render useless all kind Nature gave,
And live the dupe of ev'ry well dress'd knave;
To herd with gamblers, be a blackleg king,
And shine the monarch of the betting ring.'
"Men of family and fashion, in those golden days, passed their time in
courts, in dancing-rooms, and at clubs composed of the very cream of
birth and elegance. You heard occasionally of Lord Such-a-one being
killed in a duel, or of the baronet or esquire dying from cold caught
at a splendid _fete_, or by going lightly clad to his magnificent
vis-a-vis, after a select masquerade; but you never read his death in a
newspaper from a catarrh caught in the watch-house, from & fistic fight,
or in a row at a hell--things now not astonishing, since even men with a
title and a name of rank pass their time in the stable, at common
hells, at the Fives-court--the hall of infamy; in the watch-house, the
justice-room, and make the finish in ~212~~the Fleet, King's Bench, or
die in misery and debt abroad. In the olden times, a star of fashion
was quoted for dancing at court, for the splendour of his equipages,
his running footmen and black servants, his expensive dress, his
accomplishments, his celebrity at foreign courts, his fine form,
delicate hand, jewels, library, &c. &c. Now fame (for notoriety is so
called) may be obtained by being a Greek, or Pigeon, by being mistaken
for John the coachman, when on the box behind four tits; by being a
good gentleman miller, by feeding the fancy, standing in print for crim.
con., breaking a promise of marriage once or twice, and breaking as many
tradesmen as possible afterwards; breaking the watchman's head on the
top of the morn; and lastly, breaking away (in the skirmish through
life) for Calais, or the Low Countries. There is as much difference
between the old English gentleman and him who ought to be the modern
representative of that name, as there is between a racer and a hack,
a fine spaniel and a cross of the terrier and bull dog. In our days
of polish and refinement, we had a Lord Stair, a Sedley, a Sir John
Stepney, a Sir William Hamilton, and many others, as our ambassadors,
representing our nation as the best bred in the world; and by their
grace and amiability, gaining the admiration of the whole continent.
We had, in remoter times, our Lords Bolingbroke, Chesterfield, and
Lyttleton, our Steele, &c, the celebrated poets, authors, and patterns
of fashion and elegance of the age. We had our Argyle,
'The state's whole thunder form'd to wield,
And shake at once the senate and the field.'
We had our virtuosi of the highest rank, our rich and noble authors
in abundance. The departed Byron stood alone to fill their place. The
classics were cultivated, not by the learned profession only, but by
the votaries of fashion. Now, our Greek scholars are of ~213~~another
cast.{6} In earlier days the chivalrous foe met his opponent in open
combat, and broke a lance for the amusement of the spectators, while he
revenged his injuries in public. Now, the practice of duelling{7}
has become almost a profession, and the privacy with which it is of
necessity conducted renders it always subject to suspicion (see plate);
independent of which, the source of quarrel is too often beneath the
dignity of gentlemen, and the wanton sacrifice of life rather an act of
bravado than of true courage.{7}
6 "Adeipe nunc Danaum insidiai, et----ab uno, Disce
omnes!"
The Greek population of the fashionable world comprises a
very large portion of society, including among its members
names and persons of illustrious and noble title, whose
whole life and pleasure in life appears to "rest upon the
hazard of a die." The modern Greek, though he cannot boast
much resemblance to Achilles, Ajax, Patroclus, or Nestor,
is, nevertheless, a close imitator of the equally renowned
chief of Ithaca. To describe his person, habits, pursuits,
and manners, would be to sketch the portrait of one or more
_finished roues_, who are to be found in most genteel
societies. The mysteries of his art are manifold, and
principally consist in the following rules and regulations,
put forth by an old member of the corps, whose conscience
returned to torture him when his reign of earthly vice was
near its close.
ELEMENTS OF GREEKING. 1. A Greek should be like a mole,
visible only at night. 2. He should be a niggard of his
speech, and a profligate with his liquor, giving freely, but
taking cautiously. 3. He must always deprecate play in
public, and pretend an entire ignorance of his game. 4. He
must be subtle as the fox, and vary as the well-trained
hawk; never showing chase too soon, or losing his pigeon by
an over eager desire to pluck him. 5. He must be content to
lose a little at first, that he may thereby make a final hit
decisive. 6. He must practise like a conjuror in private,
that his slippery tricks in public may escape observation.
Palming the _digits_ requires no ordinary degree of agility.
7. He must secure a confederate, who having been pigeoned,
has since been enlightened, and will consent to decoy others
to the net. 8. He should have once held the rank of captain,
as an introduction to good society, and a privilege to bully
any one who may question his conduct. 9. He must always put
on the show of generosity with those he has plucked--that
is, while their bill, bond, post obit, or other legal
security is worth having.
~214~~
10. He should be a prince of good fellows at his own table,
have the choicest wines for particular companies, and when a
grand hit cannot be made, refuse to permit play in his own
house; or on a decisive occasion, let his decoy or partner
pluck the pigeon, while he appears to lose to some
confederate a much larger sum.
11. He must not be afraid to fight a duel, mill & rumbustical
green one, or bully a brother sharper who attempts to poach
upon his preserves.