'There was a time, of course,' continued my friend, 'when everybody
thought as you do. The book was published under Hughes's name, and it
was not until Professor Burkett-Smith wrote his celebrated monograph on
the subject that anybody suspected a dual, or rather a composite,
authorship. Burkett-Smith, if you remember, based his arguments on two
very significant points. The first of these was a comparison between
the football match in the first part and the cricket match in the
second. After commenting upon the truth of the former description, he
went on to criticize the latter. Do you remember that match? You do?
Very well. You recall how Tom wins the toss on a plumb wicket?'
'Yes.'
'Then with the usual liberality of young hands (I quote from the book)
he put the M.C.C. in first. Now, my dear sir, I ask you, would a school
captain do that? I am young, says one of Gilbert's characters, the
Grand Duke, I think, but, he adds, I am not so young as that. Tom may
have been young, but would he, _could_ he have been young enough
to put his opponents in on a true wicket, when he had won the toss?
Would the Tom Brown of part one have done such a thing?'
'Never,' I shouted, with enthusiasm.
'But that's nothing to what he does afterwards. He permits, he actually
sits there and permits, comic songs and speeches to be made during the
luncheon interval. Comic Songs! Do you hear me, sir? COMIC SONGS!! And
this when he wanted every minute of time he could get to save the
match. Would the Tom Brown of part one have done such a thing?'
'Never, never.' I positively shrieked the words this time.
'Burkett-Smith put that point very well. His second argument is founded
on a single remark of Tom's, or rather--'
'Or rather,' I interrupted, fiercely,' or rather of the wretched
miserable--'
'Contemptible,' said my friend.
'Despicable, scoundrelly, impostor who masquerades as Tom in the second
half of the book.'
'Exactly,' said he. 'Thank you very much. I have often thought the same
myself. The remark to which I refer is that which he makes to the
master while he is looking on at the M.C.C. match. In passing, sir,
might I ask you whether the Tom Brown of part one would have been on
speaking terms with such a master?'