Nevertheless, I determined to show them that they were all mistaken.
During the first winter I studied no less than six operas, at the same
time taking various exercises to improve my voice. During the second
winter I mastered one opera every month, and at the same time did all my
regular work--studying in my spare hours. At the end of my course I
passed the customary examination, receiving the least possible
distinction from my colleagues who were still convinced that I was
pursuing a course that would end in complete failure.
This brought home the truth that if I was to get ahead at all I would
have to depend entirely upon myself. The outlook was certainly not
propitious. Nevertheless I studied by myself incessantly and disregarded
the remarks of my pessimistic advisers. I sang in a church and also in a
big synagogue to keep up my income. All the time I had to put up with
the sarcasm of my colleagues who seemed to think, like many others, that
the calling of the singer was one demanding little musicianship, and
tried to make me see that in giving up the French horn and my
conservatory professorship I would be abandoning a dignified career for
that of a species of musician who at that time was not supposed to
demand any special musical training. Could not a shoemaker or a
blacksmith take a few lessons and become a great singer? I, however,
determined to become a different kind of a singer. I believed that there
was a place for the singer with a thorough musical training, and while I
kept up my vocal work amid the rain of irony and derogatory remarks from
my mistaken colleagues, I did not fail to keep up my interest in the
deeper musical studies. I had a feeling that the more good music I knew
the better would be my work in opera. I wish that all singers could see
this. Many singers live in a little world all of their own. They know
the music of the footlights, but there their experience ends. Every
symphony I have played has been molded into my life experience in such a
way that it cannot help being reflected in my work.