IT was a thousand pities——though I believe, an’ please your honour, I
am going to say but a foolish kind of a thing for a soldier——
A soldier, cried my uncle _Toby_, interrupting the corporal, is no more
exempt from saying a foolish thing, _Trim_, than a man of letters——But
not so often, an’ please your honour, replied the corporal——my uncle
_Toby_ gave a nod.
It was a thousand pities then, said the corporal, casting his eye upon
_Dunkirk_, and the mole, as _Servius Sulpicius_, in returning out of
_Asia_ (when he sailed from _Ægina_ towards _Megara_), did upon
_Corinth_ and _Pyreus_——
—“It was a thousand pities, an’ please your honour, to destroy these
works——and a thousand pities to have let them stood.”——
——Thou art right, _Trim_, in both cases; said my uncle _Toby._——This,
continued the corporal, is the reason, that from the beginning of their
demolition to the end——I have never once whistled, or sung, or laugh’d,
or cry’d, or talk’d of past done deeds, or told your honour one story
good or bad——
——Thou hast many excellencies, _Trim_, said my uncle _Toby_, and I hold
it not the least of them, as thou happenest to be a story-teller, that
of the number thou hast told me, either to amuse me in my painful
hours, or divert me in my grave ones—thou hast seldom told me a bad
one——
——Because, an’ please your honour, except one of a _King of Bohemia and
his seven castles_,—they are all true; for they are about myself——
I do not like the subject the worse, _Trim_, said my uncle _Toby_, on
that score: But prithee what is this story? thou hast excited my
curiosity.
I’ll tell it your honour, quoth the corporal, directly—Provided, said
my uncle _Toby_, looking earnestly towards _Dunkirk_ and the mole
again——provided it is not a merry one; to such, _Trim_, a man should
ever bring one half of the entertainment along with him; and the
disposition I am in at present would wrong both thee, _Trim_, and thy
story——It is not a merry one by any means, replied the corporal—Nor
would I have it altogether a grave one, added my uncle _Toby_——It is
neither the one nor the other, replied the corporal, but will suit your
honour exactly——Then I’ll thank thee for it with all my heart, cried my
uncle _Toby;_ so prithee begin it, _Trim._
The corporal made his reverence; and though it is not so easy a matter
as the world imagines, to pull off a lank _Montero_-cap with grace——or
a whit less difficult, in my conceptions, when a man is sitting squat
upon the ground, to make a bow so teeming with respect as the corporal
was wont; yet by suffering the palm of his right hand, which was
towards his master, to slip backwards upon the grass, a little beyond
his body, in order to allow it the greater sweep——and by an unforced
compression, at the same time, of his cap with the thumb and the two
forefingers of his left, by which the diameter of the cap became
reduced, so that it might be said, rather to be insensibly
squeez’d—than pull’d off with a flatus——the corporal acquitted himself
of both in a better manner than the posture of his affairs promised;
and having hemmed twice, to find in what key his story would best go,
and best suit his master’s humour,—he exchanged a single look of
kindness with him, and set off thus.
THE STORY OF THE
KING OF BOHEMIA AND
HIS SEVEN CASTLES