THE ancient _Goths_ of _Germany_, who (the learned _Cluverius_ is
positive) were first seated in the country between the _Vistula_ and
the _Oder_, and who afterwards incorporated the _Herculi_, the
_Bugians_, and some other _Vandallick_ clans to ’em—had all of them a
wise custom of debating every thing of importance to their state,
twice, that is,—once drunk, and once sober:——Drunk—that their councils
might not want vigour;——and sober—that they might not want discretion.
Now my father being entirely a water-drinker,—was a long time gravelled
almost to death, in turning this as much to his advantage, as he did
every other thing which the ancients did or said; and it was not till
the seventh year of his marriage, after a thousand fruitless
experiments and devices, that he hit upon an expedient which answered
the purpose;——and that was, when any difficult and momentous point was
to be settled in the family, which required great sobriety, and great
spirit too, in its determination,——he fixed and set apart the first
_Sunday_ night in the month, and the _Saturday_ night which immediately
preceded it, to argue it over, in bed with my mother: By which
contrivance, if you consider, Sir, with yourself, * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* *
These my father, humorously enough, called his _beds of justice;_——for
from the two different counsels taken in these two different humours, a
middle one was generally found out which touched the point of wisdom as
well, as if he had got drunk and sober a hundred times.
I must not be made a secret of to the world, that this answers full as
well in literary discussions, as either in military or conjugal; but it
is not every author that can try the experiment as the _Goths_ and
_Vandals_ did it——or, if he can, may it be always for his body’s
health; and to do it, as my father did it,—am I sure it would be always
for his soul’s.