WHAT a jovial and a merry world would this be, may it please your
worships, but for that inextricable labyrinth of debts, cares, woes,
want, grief, discontent, melancholy, large jointures, impositions, and
lies!
Doctor _Slop_, like a son of a w——, as my father called him for it,—to
exalt himself,—debased me to death,—and made ten thousand times more of
_Susannah_’s accident, than there was any grounds for; so that in a
week’s time, or less, it was in every body’s mouth, _That poor Master
Shandy_ * * * * * * * * * * * * entirely.—And FAME, who loves to double
every thing,—in three days more, had sworn, positively she saw it,—and
all the world, as usual, gave credit to her evidence——“That the nursery
window had not only * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
;—but that * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ’s also.”
Could the world have been sued like a BODY-CORPORATE,—my father had
brought an action upon the case, and trounced it sufficiently; but to
fall foul of individuals about it——as every soul who had mentioned the
affair, did it with the greatest pity imaginable;——’twas like flying in
the very face of his best friends:——And yet to acquiesce under the
report, in silence—was to acknowledge it openly,—at least in the
opinion of one half of the world; and to make a bustle again, in
contradicting it,—was to confirm it as strongly in the opinion of the
other half.——
——Was ever poor devil of a country gentleman so hampered? said my
father.