IT was to my uncle _Toby_’s eternal honour,——though I tell it only for
the sake of those, who, when coop’d in betwixt a natural and a positive
law, know not, for their souls, which way in the world to turn
themselves——That notwithstanding my uncle _Toby_ was warmly engaged at
that time in carrying on the siege of _Dendermond_, parallel with the
allies, who pressed theirs on so vigorously, that they scarce allowed
him time to get his dinner——that nevertheless he gave up _Dendermond_,
though he had already made a lodgment upon the counterscarp;—and bent
his whole thoughts towards the private distresses at the inn; and
except that he ordered the garden gate to be bolted up, by which he
might be said to have turned the siege of _Dendermond_ into a
blockade,—he left _Dendermond_ to itself—to be relieved or not by the
_French_ king, as the _French_ king thought good; and only considered
how he himself should relieve the poor lieutenant and his son.
——That kind BEING, who is a friend to the friendless, shall recompence
thee for this.
Thou hast left this matter short, said my uncle _Toby_ to the corporal,
as he was putting him to bed,——and I will tell thee in what,
_Trim._——In the first place, when thou madest an offer of my services
to _Le Fever_,——as sickness and travelling are both expensive, and thou
knowest he was but a poor lieutenant, with a son to subsist as well as
himself out of his pay,—that thou didst not make an offer to him of my
purse; because, had he stood in need, thou knowest, _Trim_, he had been
as welcome to it as myself.——Your honour knows, said the corporal, I
had no orders;——True, quoth my uncle _Toby_,—thou didst very right,
_Trim_, as a soldier,—but certainly very wrong as a man.
In the second place, for which, indeed, thou hast the same excuse,
continued my uncle _Toby_,——when thou offeredst him whatever was in my
house,——thou shouldst have offered him my house too:——A sick brother
officer should have the best quarters, _Trim_, and if we had him with
us,—we could tend and look to him:——Thou art an excellent nurse
thyself, _Trim_,—and what with thy care of him, and the old woman’s and
his boy’s, and mine together, we might recruit him again at once, and
set him upon his legs.——
——In a fortnight or three weeks, added my uncle _Toby_, smiling,——he
might march.——He will never march; an’ please your honour, in this
world, said the corporal:——He will march; said my uncle _Toby_, rising
up from the side of the bed, with one shoe off:——An’ please your
honour, said the corporal, he will never march but to his grave:——He
shall march, cried my uncle _Toby_, marching the foot which had a shoe
on, though without advancing an inch,—he shall march to his
regiment.——He cannot stand it, said the corporal;——He shall be
supported, said my uncle _Toby;_——He’ll drop at last, said the
corporal, and what will become of his boy?——He shall not drop, said my
uncle _Toby_, firmly.——A-well-o’day,—do what we can for him, said
_Trim_, maintaining his point,—the poor soul will die:——He shall not
die, by G—, cried my uncle _Toby._
—The ACCUSING SPIRIT, which flew up to heaven’s chancery with the oath,
blush’d as he gave it in;—and the RECORDING ANGEL, as he wrote it down,
dropp’d a tear upon the word, and blotted it out for ever.