THE city of _Limerick_, the siege of which was begun under his majesty
king _William_ himself, the year after I went into the army—lies, an’
please your honours, in the middle of a devilish wet, swampy
country.—’Tis quite surrounded, said my uncle _Toby_, with the
_Shannon_, and is, by its situation, one of the strongest fortified
places in _Ireland._——
I think this is a new fashion, quoth Dr. _Slop_, of beginning a medical
lecture.—’Tis all true, answered _Trim._—Then I wish the faculty would
follow the cut of it, said _Yorick._—’Tis all cut through, an’ please
your reverence, said the corporal, with drains and bogs; and besides,
there was such a quantity of rain fell during the siege, the whole
country was like a puddle,—’twas that, and nothing else, which brought
on the flux, and which had like to have killed both his honour and
myself; now there was no such thing, after the first ten days,
continued the corporal, for a soldier to lie dry in his tent, without
cutting a ditch round it, to draw off the water;—nor was that enough,
for those who could afford it, as his honour could, without setting
fire every night to a pewter dish full of brandy, which took off the
damp of the air, and made the inside of the tent as warm as a stove.——
And what conclusion dost thou draw, corporal _Trim_, cried my father,
from all these premises?
I infer, an’ please your worship, replied _Trim_, that the radical
moisture is nothing in the world but ditch-water—and that the radical
heat, of those who can go to the expence of it, is burnt brandy,—the
radical heat and moisture of a private man, an’ please your honour, is
nothing but ditch-water—and a dram of geneva——and give us but enough of
it, with a pipe of tobacco, to give us spirits, and drive away the
vapours—we know not what it is to fear death.
I am at a loss, Captain _Shandy_, quoth Doctor _Slop_, to determine in
which branch of learning your servant shines most, whether in
physiology or divinity.—_Slop_ had not forgot _Trim_’s comment upon the
sermon.—
It is but an hour ago, replied _Yorick_, since the corporal was
examined in the latter, and passed muster with great honour.——
The radical heat and moisture, quoth Doctor _Slop_, turning to my
father, you must know, is the basis and foundation of our being—as the
root of a tree is the source and principle of its vegetation.—It is
inherent in the seeds of all animals, and may be preserved sundry ways,
but principally in my opinion by _consubstantials, impriments_, and
_occludents._——Now this poor fellow, continued Dr. _Slop_, pointing to
the corporal, has had the misfortune to have heard some superficial
empiric discourse upon this nice point.——That he has,—said my
father.——Very likely, said my uncle.—I’m sure of it—quoth _Yorick._——