WHEN my father received the letter which brought him the melancholy
account of my brother _Bobby_’s death, he was busy calculating the
expence of his riding post from _Calais_ to _Paris_, and so on to
_Lyons._
’Twas a most inauspicious journey; my father having had every foot of
it to travel over again, and his calculation to begin afresh, when he
had almost got to the end of it, by _Obadiah_’s opening the door to
acquaint him the family was out of yeast—and to ask whether he might
not take the great coach-horse early in the morning and ride in search
of some.—With all my heart, _Obadiah_, said my father (pursuing his
journey)—take the coach-horse, and welcome.——But he wants a shoe, poor
creature! said _Obadiah._——Poor creature! said my uncle _Toby_,
vibrating the note back again, like a string in unison. Then ride the
_Scotch_ horse, quoth my father hastily.—He cannot bear a saddle upon
his back, quoth _Obadiah_, for the whole world.——The devil’s in that
horse; then take PATRIOT, cried my father, and shut the door.——PATRIOT
is sold, said _Obadiah._ Here’s for you! cried my father, making a
pause, and looking in my uncle _Toby_’s face, as if the thing had not
been a matter of fact.—Your worship ordered me to sell him last
_April_, said _Obadiah._—Then go on foot for your pains, cried my
father——I had much rather walk than ride, said _Obadiah_, shutting the
door.
What plagues, cried my father, going on with his calculation.——But the
waters are out, said _Obadiah_,—opening the door again.
Till that moment, my father, who had a map of _Sanson_’s, and a book of
the post-roads before him, had kept his hand upon the head of his
compasses, with one foot of them fixed upon _Nevers_, the last stage he
had paid for—purposing to go on from that point with his journey and
calculation, as soon as _Obadiah_ quitted the room: but this second
attack of _Obadiah_’s, in opening the door and laying the whole country
under water, was too much.——He let go his compasses—or rather with a
mixed motion between accident and anger, he threw them upon the table;
and then there was nothing for him to do, but to return back to
_Calais_ (like many others) as wise as he had set out.
When the letter was brought into the parlour, which contained the news
of my brother’s death, my father had got forwards again upon his
journey to within a stride of the compasses of the very same stage of
_Nevers._——By your leave, Mons. _Sanson_, cried my father, striking the
point of his compasses through _Nevers_ into the table—and nodding to
my uncle _Toby_ to see what was in the letter—twice of one night, is
too much for an English gentleman and his son, Mons. _Sanson_, to be
turned back from so lousy a town as _Nevers_—What think’st thou,
_Toby_? added my father in a sprightly tone.——Unless it be a garrison
town, said my uncle _Toby_——for then—I shall be a fool, said my father,
smiling to himself, as long as I live.—So giving a second nod—and
keeping his compasses still upon _Nevers_ with one hand, and holding
his book of the post-roads in the other—half calculating and half
listening, he leaned forwards upon the table with both elbows, as my
uncle _Toby_ hummed over the letter.
—— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —he’s gone!
said my uncle _Toby_——Where——Who? cried my father.——My nephew, said my
uncle _Toby._——What—without leave—without money—without governor? cried
my father in amazement. No:——he is dead, my dear brother, quoth my
uncle _Toby._—Without being ill? cried my father again.—I dare say not,
said my uncle _Toby_, in a low voice, and fetching a deep sigh from the
bottom of his heart, he has been ill enough, poor lad! I’ll answer for
him——for he is dead.
When _Agrippina_ was told of her son’s death, _Tacitus_ informs us,
that, not being able to moderate the violence of her passions, she
abruptly broke off her work—My father stuck his compasses into
_Nevers_, but so much the faster.—What contrarieties! his, indeed, was
matter of calculation!—_Agrippina_’s must have been quite a different
affair; who else could pretend to reason from history?