THE draw-bridge being held irreparable, _Trim_ was ordered directly to
set about another——but not upon the same model: for cardinal
_Alberoni_’s intrigues at that time being discovered, and my uncle
_Toby_ rightly foreseeing that a flame would inevitably break out
betwixt _Spain_ and the Empire, and that the operations of the ensuing
campaign must in all likelihood be either in _Naples_ or _Sicily_——he
determined upon an _Italian_ bridge—(my uncle _Toby_, by-the-bye, was
not far out of his conjectures)——but my father, who was infinitely the
better politician, and took the lead as far of my uncle _Toby_ in the
cabinet, as my uncle _Toby_ took it of him in the field——convinced him,
that if the king of _Spain_ and the Emperor went together by the ears,
_England_ and _France_ and _Holland_ must, by force of their
pre-engagements, all enter the lists too;——and if so, he would say, the
combatants, brother _Toby_, as sure as we are alive, will fall to it
again, pell-mell, upon the old prize-fighting stage of _Flanders;_—then
what will you do with your _Italian_ bridge?
—We will go on with it then upon the old model, cried my uncle _Toby_.
When corporal _Trim_ had about half finished it in that style——my uncle
_Toby_ found out a capital defect in it, which he had never thoroughly
considered before. It turned, it seems, upon hinges at both ends of it,
opening in the middle, one half of which turning to one side of the
fosse, and the other to the other; the advantage of which was this,
that by dividing the weight of the bridge into two equal portions, it
impowered my uncle _Toby_ to raise it up or let it down with the end of
his crutch, and with one hand, which, as his garrison was weak, was as
much as he could well spare—but the disadvantages of such a
construction were insurmountable;——for by this means, he would say, I
leave one half of my bridge in my enemy’s possession——and pray of what
use is the other?
The natural remedy for this was, no doubt, to have his bridge fast only
at one end with hinges, so that the whole might be lifted up together,
and stand bolt upright——but that was rejected for the reason given
above.
For a whole week after he was determined in his mind to have one of
that particular construction which is made to draw back horizontally,
to hinder a passage; and to thrust forwards again to gain a passage—of
which sorts your worship might have seen three famous ones at _Spires_
before its destruction—and one now at _Brisac_, if I mistake not;—but
my father advising my uncle _Toby_, with great earnestness, to have
nothing more to do with thrusting bridges—and my uncle foreseeing
moreover that it would but perpetuate the memory of the Corporal’s
misfortune—he changed his mind for that of the marquis _d’Hôpital_ ’s
invention, which the younger _Bernouilli_ has so well and learnedly
described, as your worships may see——_Act. Erud. Lips._ an. 1695—to
these a lead weight is an eternal balance, and keeps watch as well as a
couple of centinels, inasmuch as the construction of them was a curve
line approximating to a cycloid——if not a cycloid itself.
My uncle _Toby_ understood the nature of a parabola as well as any man
in _England_—but was not quite such a master of the cycloid;——he talked
however about it every day——the bridge went not forwards.——We’ll ask
somebody about it, cried my uncle _Toby_ to _Trim._