OBADIAH gained the two crowns without dispute;—for he came in jingling,
with all the instruments in the green baize bag we spoke of, flung
across his body, just as Corporal _Trim_ went out of the room.
It is now proper, I think, quoth Dr. _Slop_, (clearing up his looks) as
we are in a condition to be of some service to Mrs. _Shandy_, to send
up stairs to know how she goes on.
I have ordered, answered my father, the old midwife to come down to us
upon the least difficulty;—for you must know, Dr. _Slop_, continued my
father, with a perplexed kind of a smile upon his countenance, that by
express treaty, solemnly ratified between me and my wife, you are no
more than an auxiliary in this affair,—and not so much as that,—unless
the lean old mother of a midwife above stairs cannot do without
you.—Women have their particular fancies, and in points of this nature,
continued my father, where they bear the whole burden, and suffer so
much acute pain for the advantage of our families, and the good of the
species,—they claim a right of deciding, _en Souveraines_, in whose
hands, and in what fashion, they choose to undergo it.
They are in the right of it,——quoth my uncle _Toby._ But Sir, replied
Dr. _Slop_, not taking notice of my uncle _Toby_’s opinion, but turning
to my father,—they had better govern in other points;——and a father of
a family, who wishes its perpetuity, in my opinion, had better exchange
this prerogative with them, and give up some other rights in lieu of
it.——I know not, quoth my father, answering a letter too testily, to be
quite dispassionate in what he said,—I know not, quoth he, what we have
left to give up, in lieu of who shall bring our children into the
world, unless that,—of who shall beget them.——One would almost give up
any thing, replied Dr. _Slop._—I beg your pardon,——answered my uncle
_Toby._—Sir, replied Dr. _Slop_, it would astonish you to know what
improvements we have made of late years in all branches of obstetrical
knowledge, but particularly in that one single point of the safe and
expeditious extraction of the _fœtus_,——which has received such lights,
that, for my part (holding up his hand) I declare I wonder how the
world has——I wish, quoth my uncle _Toby_, you had seen what prodigious
armies we had in _Flanders._