MY RETURN TO ROCHESTER.
Having closed my business in Wilberforce, I prepared to leave on the
expiration of my term of office as township clerk, which was now near
at hand. Notwithstanding, I ever felt a sensation of relief and pleasure,
when I thought of returning to my old home and friends in the States, yet
as often as I look abroad over the settlement and remember all my glowing
hopes,--all my delightful anticipations of a prosperous future for those
poor, struggling colonists; when I recollected with what zeal and honest
purpose, with what sincerity and sacrifice I had prosecuted my labor among
them,--a dark shadow of disappointment would flit across my mind, however
welcome it might be. That I had firm and tried friends in the colony, I
had never the least reason to doubt, not to suppose their number less
after a five years residence with them; but our expectations had not been
realized. Our hope of settling a township, to be represented in Parliament
by one of our own people, was now forever blasted. I remembered too, that
many of the colonists had been unjustly incited against my course; but in
the retrospect my heart did not condemn me. Errors many, no doubt I had
committed; but I was grateful, when reviewing the whole ground, for a
conscience void of offence toward God and man; and I finally took my leave
of all, craving the choicest blessings of Heaven to rest upon that infant
colony and its interests.
On the nineteenth day of January, 1837, I left Wilberforce, passing
through Brantford, Hamilton, Queenston, Lewiston, and from thence
to Rochester. During my journey, I could not avoid feeling sad and
despondent, as my mind incessantly returned to the review of my mission,
upon which I could look with no other decision than that of an entire
failure. I had spent my time, wasted my substance for naught, and was now
returning to my dependant family,--that, with myself, had been stripped of
nearly every means of comfort and support.
What would my Rochester friends think of my conduct? Notwithstanding all
my despondency and evil foreboding at that time, I am now well satisfied
that my labor was not all in vain, but that some good did result from it.
As I drew near the city, a gloom like thick darkness overshadowed me: I
thought of the unfavorable transactions which had occurred between the
directors of the colony and my friends in Rochester, and fell to
wondering how they would receive me.
On the twenty-third of January, 1837, I finally re-entered the city
penniless; but as I soon found, not so friendless as my fears would have
it. Among, the first to welcome me back to my old home, was that friend
of "blessed memory," Everard Peck, who had been apprised of some of the
losses I had met and the trials I had passed through. This gentleman was
also one of the first to propose to be one of five men, who should loan me
one hundred dollars each, for five years. Through the disinterested
kindness of this worthy gentleman, I was in a few days after my arrival,
well established in a store of provisions and groceries. The five kind
gentlemen, to whom I was so deeply indebted for the loan, were: Everard
Peck, George A. Avery, Samuel D. Porter, Levi W. Sibley, and Griffith,
Brother & Co.
This noble act of generosity and kindness, on the part of my friends, to
furnish me with the means to commence business, especially when their
prospect was anything but flattering, regarding my ever being able to
refund their well-timed and gracious liberality,--affected me more deeply
than all the censure and persecution I had elsewhere received. Their frown
and displeasure, I was better prepared to meet than this considerate act
of Christian sympathy, which I am not ashamed to say melted me to tears,
and I resolved to show my appreciation of their kindness by an industry
and diligence in business hitherto unsurpassed.
E. Bardwell, then a merchant on Exchange Street, next laid me under a
lasting obligation by offering to sell me goods on credit; others
proffered assistance by promising their continual patronage, which was to
me the same as cash,--and soon the store I had opened on Main Street, was
doing an extensive business. My profits were small to be sure, and I had
a heavy rent to pay for my store and dwelling, yet I was making a
comfortable living for my family, and laying by something to reimburse the
kind friends who had helped me in the time of need, when I found that the
health of my family required more of my time and assistance than ever
before. My oldest daughter, who, I have before mentioned, having taken a
violent cold on Lake Erie, was now confined to her bed. All that could be
done to save the life of a darling child--our first born--was done; and if
we sometimes went beyond our means, it was a satisfaction to us to see her
enjoy some of the comforts of life of which my mission to Canada had
deprived her. One physician after another was employed to stay the
approach of the destroyer: some said they could cure her, if paid in
advance; to all of which I cheerfully acceded, but only to see our beloved
sink lower, and patiently pine away.
No one but a parent who has watched the rapid decline of a darling child,
and marked with a bursting heart the approaching footsteps of the spoiler,
can imagine how powerless we felt at that time. The wealth of the Indias,
had we possessed it, would have been freely given, although it would have
been unavailing, to shield that loved and gentle form from pain, and we
were obliged to look hopelessly on, while our little patient, suffering
daughter sank lower and lower every day. In vain were our parental arms
outstretched for her protection; from death we could not save her. She had
long since ceased to glide about the house, and soothe with her silvery
tones all the childish fears of the little ones. Helpless she now lay,
burning with fever, and wasting from our sight, "till soft as the dew on
the twilight descending," the cold damps of death gathered on her youthful
brow. One pleasant morning after passing a restless night, I observed her
to gaze earnestly upward, and a moment after I called her name but
received no answer.
"Her languishing head was at rest;
Its thinkings and achings were o'er;
Her quiet, immoveable breast,
Was heaved by affliction no more."
On the fifteenth day of April, 1837, she sweetly fell asleep, aged eleven
years. Sorrowfully we followed her remains to Mount Hope, where we laid
her down to rest until the resurrection morning. Death had now made its
first inroad in our family circle, and since then we have laid two other
loved ones by her side. We sorrowed, but not without hope.
My business continued to prosper, and I concluded to buy a small variety
store, containing some three or four hundred dollars worth of goods on the
corner of Main and North Streets, formerly owned by Mr. Snow, but, having
two stores on my hands, I did not make much by the trade.
The first summer after I returned to Rochester, the friends of temperance
made a fine celebration, and gave me the privilege of providing the
dinner.
I considered it not only a privilege, but an honor, and felt very grateful
to the committee who conferred the favor upon me.
The celebration came off on the Fourth of July, and was indeed a splendid
affair. The multitude were addressed on the public square, by some of the
best speakers in the country. I laid in a large quantity of provisions of
every available kind, built a bower, hired waiters, and prepared seats for
five hundred to dine; but when the oration was over, and the multitude
came to the table, I found that as many more seats were wanted. We,
however, accommodated as many as we could, at one dollar each, and all
passed off well, to the great satisfaction of all concerned.
When all was over, and the friends learned that I had on hand a large
amount of cooked provision, they continued their kindness by purchasing
it, thus preventing any loss on my part.
My store on the corner of Main and North Streets, was at the head of the
market, and I was enabled to supply both of my stores with country produce
on the best possible terms. I kept two clerks at each store, and all
seemed prosperous for a time, when from some cause, which I could never
understand, my business began to fail. My family had ever lived prudently,
and I knew that was not the cause. I thought to better my circumstances by
taking a store in the Rochester House, but that proved to be a bad stand
for my business, and after one year, I removed to Buffalo Street, opposite
the Court House. I ought to say, that as soon as I found that my income
was getting less than my expenses, I went to the gentlemen who had loaned
me the five hundred dollars, and showed them the true state of my affairs,
and they kindly agreed to take fifty per cent., which I paid them.
After locating on Buffalo Street, I took in a partner, named John Lee, a
young man, active and industrious, who paid into the firm three hundred
dollars, with which we bought goods. With what I had on hand, this raised
the joint stock to about a thousand dollars, on which we were making
frequent additions, and on which we had an insurance of six hundred
dollars. Our business was now more prosperous than at any previous time,
and we began to look up with hope and confidence in our final success.
One night I returned to my home as usual, leaving Lee in the store. About
twelve o'clock, Mr. Morris awoke me with a few loud raps, and the
announcement that my store was on fire and a part of my goods in the
street! I hastened to the place, where I found, as he had said, what was
saved from the fire piled up in the street and the fire extinguished. The
building was greatly damaged and the goods they rescued were nearly
ruined. Now we were thrown out of business, and the firm was dissolved.
With the assistance of W.S. Bishop, a lawyer, we made out the amount of
damage, which was readily paid by the agent for the insurance company.
When the Fourth of July came round again, the temperance men resolved on
having another demonstration, and as before, I was requested to supply the
dinner, which I did, after the same manner as the year previous.
Having been thrown out of business by the fire, I began to examine my
pecuniary matters, and found that I was some three or four hundred
dollars in debt, which I had no means of paying. True, I had met with a
great misfortune, but I felt that to be an honest man I must meet all
obligations, whether legally bound to do so or not; yet it was beyond my
power at that time, and I finally concluded to leave the city, and try to
better my condition by some other business, or at least to clear myself
from debt.