Shade of Dizzy. "WELL, YES! _WE_ HAD TO WAIT FOR IT A GOOD MANY
YEARS!--BUT I THINK HE'LL DO!!"]
"Well at least _he_ was even younger when he came to our place," PAM
whispered in DIZZY's ear, startling him as he inadvertently touched
his cheek with the straw he still seems to hold in his teeth, as he
did when JOHN LEECH was alive.
Prince ARTHUR, facing the crowded Opposition Benches, of course saw
nothing of this; lounged and listened smilingly as the Squire, having
shaken up JOKIM and his one-pound notes, went oft to Exeter to pummel
the MARKISS.
_Business done._--Address moved.
_Wednesday._--Evidently going to be an Agricultural Labourer's
Session. Small Holdings Bill put in forefront of Programme. District
Councils hinted at. In this situation it was stroke of genius, due I
believe to the MARKISS, that such happy selection was made of Mover of
Address.
"It's trifles that make up the mass, my dear nephew," the MARKISS
said, when this matter was being discussed in the Recess. "No detail
is so small that we can afford to omit it. It was a happy thought of
yours, perhaps a little too subtle for some intellects, to associate
CHAPLIN with Small Holdings. In this other matter, let me have my way.
Put up HODGE to move the Address. It will be worth 10,000 votes in the
agricultural districts. I suppose he wouldn't like to come down in
a smock frock with a whip in his hand? Don't know why he shouldn't;
quite as reasonable as a civilian getting himself up as a Colonel or
an Admiral. With HODGE in a smock frock moving the Address we'd sweep
the country. But that I must leave to you; only let us have HODGE."
So it was arranged. But Member for Accrington wouldn't stand the
smock-frock. Insisted upon coming out in war-like uniform. Trousers
a little tight about the knees, and jacket perhaps a trifle too
tasselly. But made very good speech in the circumstances.
[Illustration: Orator Hodge (in mufti).]
_Business done._--Bills brought in by the half hundred.
_Thursday Night._--Things been rather dull hitherto. House as it were
lying under a pall, "Every man," as O'HANLON says, "not knowing what
moment may be his next." Still on Debate on Address. When resumed
to-night, CHAMBERLAIN stepped into ring and took off his coat. When
Members saw the faithful JESSE bring in sponge and vinegar-bottle,
knew there would be some sport. Anticipation not disappointed. JOE in
fine fighting form. Went for the SQUIRE OF MALWOOD round after round;
occasionally turned to aim a "wonner" at his "Right Hon. Friend" JOHN
MORELY. Conservatives delighted; had always thought just what JOE
was saying, but hadn't managed to put their ideas into such easily
fleeting, barbed sentences. Only once was there any shade on the faces
of the country gentlemen opposite. That spread when JOE proposed to
quote the "lines of CHURCHILL."
"No, no," said Lord HENRY BRUCE in audible whisper, "he'd better leave
GRANDOLPH alone. Never knew he wrote poetry. If he did, there's lots
of others. Why, when we're going on so nicely, why drag in CHURCHILL?"
Depression only momentary. Conservative cheers rose again and again as
JOE, turning a mocking face, and shaking a minatory forefinger at the
passive monumental figure of the guileless SQUIRE OF MALWOOD, did,
as JOHN MORLEY, with rare outburst of anger, presently said, from his
place in the centre of the Liberal Camp, "denounce and assail Liberal
principles, Liberal measures, and his old Liberal colleagues."
After this it was nothing that, some hours later, O'HANLON, rising
from a Back Bench, and speaking on another turn of the Debate, should
observe, in loud voice, with eye fixed in fine frenzy on the nape of
the Squire's neck, as he sat on the Front Bench with folded arms, "I
do not believe in the Opposition Leaders, who have split up my Party,
and are now living on its blood."
_Business done._--JOSEPH turns and rends his Brethren.
_Friday Night._--In Commons night wasted by re-delivery of speeches
made last year by Irish Members pleading for amnesty for Dynamitards.
JOHN REDMOND began it. No Irish Member could afford to be off on
this scene, so one after another they trotted out their speeches of
yester-year.
Lords much more usefully occupied in discussing London Fog. MIDDLETON
moved for Royal Commission. MARKISS drew fine distinction. "What
you really want to remedy," he said, "is not the fog itself, but
its colour." Rather seemed to like the fog, _per se_, if only his
particular fancy in matter of colour gratified. Didn't mention what
colour he preferred; but fresh difficulty looming out of the fog
evident. Tastes differ. If every man is to have his own particular
coloured fog, our last state will be worse than the first.
_Business done._--None.
* * * * *