CUPID'S WORK IN SUNNYLAND.
Love! That wonderful something--the source of bliss, the cause of
maddened anguish! Love and marriage form the basis of every plot, play,
comedy, tragedy, story, and, let it be whispered, swell the lawyer's
purse with breach of promise and divorce case fees. Yet it blooms with
a new-found beauty in every clime, and as there is no land in all the
world more suitable for romance than Mexico, it is pertinent to show
how love is planted, cultivated and reaped in this paradise, so as to
let our single readers in the States compare the system here with home
customs and benefit thereby, whether by making good use of their own
free style or cultivating a new, those interested must decide.
Mexicans may be slow in many things, but not slow in love. The laws
of Mexico claim girls at twelve, and boys at thirteen years are
eligible to marriage, and it is not an unusual sight to see a woman,
who looks no more than thirty-five, a great-grandmother. As children,
the Mexicans are rather pretty; but when a girl passes twenty she gets
"mucho-mucho" avoirdupois, and at thirty she sports a mustache and
"galways" that would cause young bachelors in the States to turn green
with envy. The men, on the contrary, are slim and wiry, and do not
boast of their hirsute charms, especially when in company with women,
as they have little desire to call attention to the contrast, and the
diamond-ring finds other means of display than stroking and twisting an
imaginary mustache. Yet this exchange of charms interferes in no way
with love-making, and the young man wafts sweet kisses from his finger
tips to the fair--no, dark--damsel, and enjoys it as much as if that
black, silky down on her lip were fringing the gateway to his stomach.
Boys and girls, even in babyhood, are not permitted to be together.
Before very long they compel their eyes to speak the love their lips
dare not tell, and with a little practice it is surprising how much
they can say, and how cold and insipid sound words of the same meaning
in comparison.
All the courting is done on the street. When evening kindly lends its
sheltering cloak, even though the moon smiles full-faced at the many
love-scenes she is witnessing, the girl opens her casement window and,
with guitar in her hand or dreamily watching the stars, she awaits her
lover. If her room is on the ground floor she is in paradise, for then
they can converse--he can even touch her hand through the bars. But
if she is consigned to a room above she steps out on the balcony. If
the distance is not too great, they can still converse; but otherwise,
with the aid of pencil, paper, and tiny cord, they manage to spend the
evening blissfully without burning papa's coal and gas, and staying up
until unseemly hours.
The lovers are unmindful of the people who pass and repass, and the
kind-hearted policeman never even thinks of telling the young man to
"move on." If the house is secluded the lover tells his devotion in
musical strains. Night is not only devoted to love-making, but in the
broad light of day the young man will stand across the street and from
the partly opened casement of the fair one are visible a hand and a
nose--of course she has full view, but that is all that can be seen
of her. With the hand they converse in deaf and dumb language, which,
added to their own signs, makes a large dictionary. It is not likely
there exists a Mexican who is not an adept in the sign language.
Courting is too vulgar a word for them, so they call it--translated in
English--playing the bear.
You would naturally wonder how a girl who never leaves her mother's
or chaperon's side, who never goes to parties, who is watched like a
condemned murderess, would ever get a lover; but notwithstanding all
this strictness they number less old maids and more admirers than their
sisters in the States. Perhaps while out driving, at the theater or
bull-fights, they see a man they think they will like. He is similarly
impressed.
He follows his new-found one home, and she knows enough to be on the
balcony awaiting his arrival with the shades of night. He may play
the bear with her for a year and she not know his name. He has the
advantage, for he can find out everything about her family, and thereby
determine whether she is a desirable bride or not.
Sometimes they play the bear for from seven to fifteen years--that
is, if the parents are very wealthy--and even then not get the girl,
for with all their passionate love they number many flirts. Often one
girl will have two or more playing the bear at the same time. If they
chance to meet they inquire, fiercely, "Whom are you after?" If the
answer demonstrates the same girl, one will request the other to step
aside. If he refuses a duel follows. After that the girl is bound,
by the custom of her country, to relinquish both. If a brother or
father discovers a "bear," the latter must submit to a thrashing from
their hands if he still desires to retain the girl's love. If a father
notices the attention of a "bear" and looks with favor upon him, he
does not disturb his "playing." When he concludes he has served long
enough he is invited into the house. This means the same as if he had
asked her hand in marriage and has been accepted. He is the intended
husband, but never for a moment is he alone with his _fiancee._ He may
aspire to take the driver's place sometimes, or to take the entire
family to the theater.
A young American had been received in great favor by a Spanish
family; probably the old man thought he would like an American for a
son-in-law. However, young America was not going to waste any time
sitting in the house with the old folks, so he politely requested the
object of his admiration to go to the Italian opera. She graciously
accepted. When he went to the house he found not only his lady love
but the entire family prepared to accompany him. The deed was done; he
could not back out, and for the privilege of talking to the mother,
with the daughter sitting on the other side casting love-lit glances
from her splendid eyes, he paid forty-three dollars. He was disgusted,
and accordingly gave up his chance of being a member of a Mexican
family.
If a man gets impatient and feels like becoming responsible for the
price of his sweetheart's bonnets, he asks the father. If he is
rejected he can go to a public official, swear out a notice to the
effect that his and the girl's happiness is ruined by the father's
heartlessness. He then secures a warrant, which gives him the privilege
of taking the girl away bodily from the home of her parents. This
is a Mexican elopement. If, on the other hand, he is accepted, the
wedding-day is named, and agreements are drawn up as to how much will
be the daughter's portion at the death of her parents. Before that
period she receives nothing. The intended husband furnishes the wedding
outfit, and all the wearing apparel she has been using is returned to
her parents. She has absolutely nothing. The groom buys the customary
outfit--white satin boots, white dress and veil.
A Mexican wedding is different from any other in the world. First a
civil marriage is performed by a public official. This by law makes
the children of that couple legitimate and lawful inheritors of
their parents' property. This is recorded, and in a few days--the
day following or a month after, just as desired--the marriage is
consummated in the church. Before this ceremony the bride and groom are
no more allowed alone together than when playing the bear. At a wedding
the other day the church was decorated with five hundred dollars' worth
of white roses. The amount can be estimated when it is stated roses
cost but four reals (fifty cents) per thousand. Their delicate perfume
filled the grand, gloomy old edifice, which was lighted by thousands
of large and small wax candles. Carpet was laid from the gate into the
church, and when the bridal party marched in, the pipe organ and band
burst forth in one joyous strain. The priest, clad entirely in white
vestments, advanced to the door to meet them, followed by two men in
black robes carrying different articles, a small boy in red skirt and
lace overdress carrying a long pole topped off with a cross.
The bride was clad in white silk, trimmed with beaded lace, with
train about four yards long, dark hair and waist dressed with orange
blossoms. Over this, falling down to her feet in front and reaching the
end of the train back, was a point lace veil. Magnificent diamonds were
the ornaments, and in the gloved hands was a pearl-bound prayer-book.
She entered a pew near the door with her mother--who was dressed in
black lace--on one side and her father on the other. After answering
some questions they stepped out, and the groom stood beside the bride,
with groomsman and bridemaid on either side, the latter dressed in
dark green velvet, lace, and bonnet. The priest read a long while,
and then, addressing the girl first, asked her many questions, to
which she replied, "Si, senor." Then he questioned the groom likewise.
Afterward he handed the groom a diamond ring, which the latter placed
on the little finger of the left hand of the bride. The priest put a
similar ring on the ring-finger of the right hand of the groom, and a
plain wedding ring on the ring-finger of the bride's right hand. Then,
folding the two ringed hands together, he sprinkled them with holy
water and crossed them repeatedly. The band played "Yankee Doodle," and
the bride, holding on to an embroidered band on the priest's arm, the
groom doing likewise on the other side, they proceeded up to the altar,
where they knelt down. The priest blessed them, sprinkled them with
holy water, and said mass for them, the band playing the variations of
"Yankee Doodle." A man in black robes put a lace scarf over the head
of the bride and around the shoulders of the groom; over this again
he placed a silver chain, symbolic of the fact that they were bound
together forever--nothing could separate them.
After the priest finished mass he blessed and sprinkled them once
more. Then from a plate he took seventeen gold dollars the groom had
furnished and emptied them into his hands. The groom in turn emptied
them into the hand of his bride, and she gave them to the priest as a
gift to the Church and a token that they will always sustain, protect,
and uphold it. Now the ceremony, which always lasts two to four hours,
is ended, and the newly married pair go into an adjoining room to
receive the congratulations of their friends.
The marriage festivities are often kept up for a week. After that the
husband claims his bride, and right jealously does he guard her. Her
life is spent in seclusion--eating, drinking, sleeping, smoking. The
husband is desperately jealous and the wife is never allowed to be in
the company of another man. Life to a Mexican lady in an American's
view is not worth living.
When death takes one away the dust remains buried for ten years, if
the husband is wealthy. At the end of that time the bones, all that
remains in this country, are lifted, placed in a jar and taken home and
the tomb-stone used as an ornament. "See that case?" said a Mexican.
"My first wife is in that, even to her fingernails, and that is her
grave-stone." So it was, there in the parlor, a dismal ornament and
memento.
Mexican carelessness does not extend to the saying of mass. A man had
three daughters, and each was to inherit $3,000,000. For this reason
he would not allow them to marry. One died, and the anniversary of her
death was celebrated in fine style. High mass was said, and a coffin
arranged on a catafalque forty-four feet high recalled the dead woman.
The coffin, etc., were imported from Paris, and altogether the mass
cost $30,000. That's dying in high style.
Mexicans who have been to the States much prefer the American style of
calling on ladies, but it is not likely it will ever be the custom--for
American residents here have adopted the Mexican style for their
daughters, and most ridiculous and affected does it appear. American
boys, however, have no time to waste on such manners, so they do their
love-making by letters and go back to the States for their brides,
leaving the American mammas to search among the Mexicans for ones to
play the "bear."