Where men are so deficient in sentiment and manly instincts that one
young woman seems to them about as good as another, it is hardly
strange that the women too should lack those qualities of delicacy,
gentleness, and modesty which make the weaker sex adorable. The
description of the bloody duels often fought by Kaffir women given by
the British missionary Beste (Ploss, II., 421) indicates a decidedly
Amazonian disposition. But the most suggestive trait of Kaffir women
is the lack of feminine coyness in their matrimonial preliminaries.
According to Gardiner (97),
"it is not regarded as a matter either of etiquette or
of delicacy from which side the proposal of marriage
may proceed--the overture is as often made by the women
as the men."
"Courtship," says Shooter (50), "does not always begin with the men."
Sometimes the girl's father proposes for her; and when a young woman
does not receive an early proposal, her father or brother go from
kraal to kraal and offer her till a bidder is found. Callaway (60)
relates that when a young Zulu woman is ready to be married she goes
to the kraal of the bridegroom, to stand there. She remains without
speaking, but they understand her. If they "acknowledge" her, a goat
is killed and she is entertained. If they do not like her, they give
her a burning piece of firewood, to intimate that there is no fire in
that kraal to warm herself by; she must go and kindle a fire for
herself.[143]