A rumour is going about that martial law may be declared in Ireland at any
moment. By which of the armies of occupation does not seem clear.
* * *
To make money, says a London magistrate, one must work hard. This is a
great improvement on the present method of entering a post-office and
helping yourself.
* * *
Cat skins are advertised for in Essex. A suburban resident writes to say he
has a few brace on his garden wall each night, if the advertiser is
prepared to entice the cats from inside them.
* * *
Much alarm has been caused in foreign countries by the report that British
scientists are experimenting with a machine that makes a noise like Lord
FISHER.
* * *
According to a witness at a police court in London nearly two hundred
people stood and watched a fight between dockers in City Road last week.
The way some people take advantage of Mr. COCHRAN'S absence in America
seems most unsportsmanlike.
* * *
Horse-radish from Germany is being sold in Manchester at six shillings a
bundle. Even during the War, thanks to the efforts of the local Press, the
Mancunian has never wanted for his little bit of German hot stuff.
* * *
Asked how old he was by the magistrate a railway-worker is said to have
replied, "Thirty-nine last strike."
* * *
The House of Representatives at Washington have offered one hundred
thousand pounds to fight the influenza germ. It is said that, if they will
make it two hundred thousand, DEMPSEY'S manager will consider it.
* * *
An American millionaire, says a gossip, has decided to stay at one London
hotel for three months. There was no need to tell us he was a millionaire.
* * *
A way is said to have been found for washing linen by electricity. In
future patrons will have to tear the button-holes themselves.
* * *
It is all very well asking Germany to hand over her war criminals, but the
trouble is to find enough innocent men to round them up.
* * *
The rumour current in France, to the effect that our PREMIER has been seen
in London, is believed by Parisians to have been spread by political
rivals.
* * *
The Bolshevists recently deported from America were welcomed on the Finnish
frontier by the Red Army and eleven brass bands playing "The
International." That ought to teach them to get deported again.
* * *
A Thames bargee has summoned a colleague for throwing a huge piece of coal
at him. Quite right too. The coal might have fallen into the river.
* * *
One Scottish M.P., says a weekly paper, has not made a speech in the House
of Commons for twenty years. This is probably due to the fact that a
Scotsman rarely butts in when a fellow-countryman is speaking.
* * *
The so-called "pneumonia" blouse is conducive to health, declares the
Medical Research Committee. On the other hand the sunstroke cravat
continues to prove fatal in a great number of cases.
* * *
A Swansea man who went to his allotment to dig up some parsnips and ended
by taking three cabbages from a neighbour's plot has been fined ten pounds.
We approve of the sentence. A man who deliberately associates with parsnips
should be shown no mercy.
* * *
A news message states that passports enabling Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD to
proceed to Russia have been refused. As a result we understand that the
well-known Socialist has threatened to remain in this country.
* * *
Greenwich Council has refused a war trophy, consisting of a hundred
bayonets. It appears that in those parts they still adhere to the fantastic
theory that the chronometer won the War.
* * *
A novel idea is reported from a small town in Norfolk. It appears that at
the annual fancy-dress ball all the inhabitants clubbed together and went
as a Brontosaurus.
* * *
The Hotel Métropole has now been vacated by the Government, and it is
thought that, as soon as the extra sleeping accommodation has been cleared
away, it will be used as an hotel once again.
* * *
We understand there is no truth in the rumour that Mr. ALBERT DE COURVILLE
has offered the ex-Kaiser a leading part in his revue, _Come Over Here_.
* * *
A correspondent points out in _The Daily Express_ that there are five
Sundays in the present month. We understand however that Mr. WINSTON
CHURCHILL is not to blame this time.
* * * * *