IN visiting a church in which you have no pew of your own, wait in
the vestibule until the sexton comes to you, and request him to
show you to a seat. It is extremely rude to enter a pew without
invitation if it is partially filled, or without permission if it
is empty.
Always enter a church slowly and reverentially. A gentleman must
remove his hat at the door, and never replace it until he is again
in the vestibule.
Conform strictly to the forms of worship. If you are not familiar
with them, rise, kneel, and sit as you see others do.
Never whisper to a companion in church.
Never make any noise with your feet or fingers.
Never stare round the building.
Never bow to any friend while in the church itself. Greetings may
be exchanged in the vestibule after service.
A gentleman accompanying a lady to a Roman Catholic church, even
if himself a Protestant, may offer her the holy water, and it must
be with an ungloved hand.
Gentlemen must pass up the aisle beside their lady companions
until they reach the pew, then advance a few steps, open the door,
and stand aside until she has entered, then enter, and close the
door again. It is a bad plan to leave the hat outside, as it is
liable to be swept down the aisle by the skirts of ladies passing.
If there is not room for it on the seat, it can be put upon the
floor inside the pew.
Never pay any attention to those around you, even if they are
noisy or rude.
If you pass a book or a fan to a person in the same pew, or accept
the same attention, it is not necessary to speak. A silent bow is
all that etiquette requires.
If you have room in your own pew, and sea a stranger enter, open
the door and motion him to enter. It is not necessary to speak.
You may find the place and point it out to a stranger, who is
unfamiliar with the service; but do so silently.
A lady should never remove her gloves in church, unless to use the
holy water, or the right-hand glove at communion.
To come late to church is not only ill-bred, but disrespectful. It
is equally so to hurry away, or to commence preparations for
departure, closing and putting away the books, and such
preparations, before the service closes.
Never keep any one waiting if you are invited or have invited them
to go to church.
When visiting a church abroad, not to attend divine service, but
to see the edifice, choose an hour when there is no service. If
you find worshippers, however, are present, move quietly, speak
low, and endeavor not to disturb their devotions.
The godmother at a christening must accompany the family of her
little godchild to and from the church, and should send her gift
(usually a silver cup) the day before.
In attending a funeral not in your own family, never leave the pew
until the mourners have passed into the aisle; but rise and stand
while they pass, falling into your proper place as the procession
passes you.
It is ill-bred for gentlemen to congregate in the vestibule of a
church and there chat familiarly, often commenting audibly upon
the service or the congregation. No true lady likes to run this
gauntlet, although in this country they are too often obliged to
do so.
To show any disrespect to a form of worship that may be new or
strange to you is rude in the extreme. If you find it trying to
your own religious convictions, you need not again visit churches
of the same denomination; but to sneer at a form, while in the
church using that form, is insulting and low-bred.