_The Trip to Portsmouth._
During my nightly resorts to the Blue Lion, in Gray’s-Inn-Lane, I one
evening fell into conversation, at that house, with a young man of decent
appearance, a few years older than myself. We were so mutually pleased
with each other, that at parting, an appointment to breakfast together
the next morning was the consequence, and on this second meeting, our
intimacy so far increased, that we began to explain our respective
situations in life to each other. My new acquaintance, whose name was
D⸺, informed me that he had lately quitted His Majesty’s Ship Montague,
of 74 guns, on board of which he had served as Steward to the Commander,
Captain Patterson. That having lived freely for some months on shore,
he had now spent all his money, and was so much reduced, that he really
knew not how to subsist any longer, and concluded with expressing his
intention to proceed immediately to Portsmouth, in the hope of obtaining
a similar birth to his former one. I assured him that I was, like
himself, so much reduced, as to find the utmost difficulty in existing
at all, and that if he would permit me to join my fortune to his, I
should without hesitation feel happy in the opportunity of accompanying
him to Portsmouth in quest of some employment. He declared that nothing
would afford him greater pleasure, and it was agreed that we should,
each of us without delay, convert our spare apparel, _&c._, into cash,
and set out the very next day. I accordingly lost no time in the needful
preparations, and having bilked my landlord, with whom I was some few
weeks in arrears, I met D⸺, the same evening, and after indulging in a
farewell cruize, which sensibly diminished our slender finances, we took
a few hours’ repose, and at eight o’clock the next morning, commenced our
peregrination.
On a comparison of our personal effects, it appeared that we possessed
between us about twenty shillings in money, and had each a spare shirt,
neck-cloth and hose, in a bundle, which (traveller-like) we carried
across our shoulders on a good oak-stick. We were both decently clad,
in good health, and in high spirits notwithstanding our poverty. We
agreed that to save expenses, we should perform the journey on foot,
(being seventy-two miles) and we calculated that with frugality, we
should be enabled to defray the contingent charges for diet and lodging
on the road. It soon appeared, however, that though good economists in
theory, we were not so in practice; for as we both loved good cheer, and
the severity of the weather required a suitable fortification, we had
expended half our stock by the time we got to Kingston, our first stage,
and only twelve miles from town. Here we put up at a public-house, called
The Eight Bells, and having enjoyed a good dinner, which was succeeded
by some excellent mulled elder wine of the landlady’s own composition,
and which was peculiarly adapted to the season of the year, we liked our
quarters so well that we spent not only the night, but half the next day
in the enjoyments of repose, eating, drinking, and smoking, before it
occurred to either of us that every item of those said enjoyments was
recorded in chalk by the hostess, and would inevitably be consolidated
in the shape of a bill, which we must discharge before a clearance could
be obtained for the next port. Having at length recollected ourselves,
and called “to pay,” our reckoning amounted to three or four shillings
more than we possessed in our common purse. As it was impossible to think
of proceeding any farther without recruiting, we were now in no small
consternation. Bilking the landlady was out of the question, for we had
given our bundles into her charge on first entering the house, and their
contents were not only indispensably necessary to us, but also worth more
than the sum required to release them. In this dilemma, a sudden thought
struck me. Calling for pen, ink, and paper, I told my companion I had a
scheme in my head for raising a supply, but would not impart it until I
had tried its success. I then drew up a sort of Memorial to the following
effect: “To the Ladies and Gentlemen of Kingston.—The writer hereof, a
young man of respectable family, and good education, having by a series
of misfortunes, been reduced to the greatest distress, is now on his
way to Portsmouth, in hopes of procuring a situation in the navy; but
being destitute of money for his present support, humbly solicits your
charitable assistance towards enabling him to pursue his journey. To a
noble mind, the pleasure of doing a good action is its own reward. The
smallest donations will be gratefully received, and any lady or gentleman
inclined to relieve the writer is earnestly requested to subscribe his
or her name hereto.”—Having completed this production, I desired my
friend to wait patiently for my return, and assured him I doubted not of
bringing speedy relief. I now set out on my expedition, and immediately
waited on Mr. Mayor, who was a grocer, but in this first essay I was
unsuccessful. His worship declared he never encouraged applications of
this sort from strangers; and desired me to go about my business. I,
however, took the liberty of subscribing his name to my memorial, by
way of sanction, and gave his charity credit for a donation of five
shillings. Young as I was at that time, I well knew that example, in
matters of this kind, goes a great way; and that many persons, without a
grain of christian benevolence in their composition, will give liberally
from motives of ostentation, when they see that their neighbours have
already contributed, and that their own names and donations will also be
made public. I experienced the truth of this notion, for I was successful
in almost every application I afterwards made. Having visited a number of
genteel houses, with various success, I was on the point of returning,
to impart my good luck to my companion, when coming to a very handsome
mansion-house in the suburbs of the town, I thought I ought not to
omit calling, and a person at that moment passing by, I inquired whose
residence it was, and which was the entrance to the premises; for the
house was situated in the midst of a spacious pleasure-ground, remote
from the high road, and it being quite dusk, I had not observed any
avenue by which I could gain access to it. I was informed that it was
the residence of Lady W⸺, that a little further on, I should perceive a
door in the brick wall, which extended along the road-side, and that if
I entered at that door, and proceeded in a strait direction, I should
arrive at the servants’ hall; but my informer cautioned me to keep close
to another wall on my left hand, which divided this avenue from the lawn
in front of the mansion, because there was a very large and fierce dog
at the upper end, but which, being chained up, could not reach me, if
I followed the above directions. I thanked this obliging person, and
immediately proceeded to the door described, which I entered, and walked
cautiously, and not without some fear, by the wall-side, till I perceived
by the lights in the kitchen, and out-offices, that I was near the
premises.
It was now very dark, and I was carefully exploring my way, my mind
full of apprehensions at the thought of this terrible dog; when lo! at
that instant, to my inexpressible consternation, the ferocious animal
made a spring at me, and I gave myself up for dead. However, though he
was certainly within a yard of me, he did me no mischief, but my alarm
was so great, that without knowing how, or where to fly for refuge, I
ran precipitately from the spot, and when I recovered from the fright,
found myself in the pleasure-ground in front of the mansion-house. It
appeared that I had, without knowing, escaped through a door in the wall,
which was open on my left hand at the moment I was alarmed by the dog.
I was now more at a loss than ever, for I knew of no way to get out of
the pleasure-ground, except by the aforesaid door, and fear of the dog
prevented my attempting that passage. After wandering about for a few
minutes, I approached the mansion, and going up to one of the parlour
windows, which were very large, and on a level with the terrace before
the house, I applied my eye to the glass, and discovered through an
aperture in the inside shutters, a numerous and splendid party of ladies
and gentlemen at dinner. Having considered a moment, I determined on a
very bold step, as I saw no alternative but remaining all night in the
open air, exposed to the inclemency of the weather. Taking advantage of
a pause in the company’s conversation, I tapped with my finger at the
window, and immediately the whole party were struck with wonder. In the
midst of their surprise I repeated my knock, and then, after several
voices exclaiming, “Good God! there is certainly somebody at the window,”
_&c._, a gentleman rose from the table, and advancing towards me, opened
first the shutters, and then the window itself, which might, in fact, be
called a pair of folding doors, and these being thrown back, I walked
in with the most respectful air I could assume, and presented myself to
the astonished company. Having bowed twice or thrice, and given time for
their alarm to subside, I began to make my speech.
Apologizing for my presumptuous intrusion, I stated in a concise manner,
the fright I had endured, from the dog, my embarrassment at not being
able to find means of egress from the pleasure-ground, and my having
consequently taken the liberty of knocking at the window. I then
presented my memorial, which was read in turn by most of the company,
each of whom surveyed me with evident surprise. Having answered such
queries as they thought proper to put to me, I was desired by the lady
of the house to withdraw to the kitchen for a short time, and a servant
was ordered to attend me thither. Here I had my story to repeat for the
information of the domestics, who laughed heartily at the adventure of
the dog, but afterwards seriously assured me, that had the animal not
been chained, or had I approached within his reach, he would inevitably
have torn me to pieces. The parlour dinner being over, and the dishes
brought out, I was desired to fall to, and being really hungry I wanted
no pressing, but selected from the variety of good things on the table a
very fine buttock of beef, on which substantial fare I made a sumptuous
meal. There was no scarcity of good malt liquor, and Lady W⸺ very kindly
sent me out a pint of red port, with a particular injunction (which
by-the-by was unnecessary,) that I should eat and drink heartily.
At length I was summoned to attend the company in the parlour, and her
ladyship then expressing her concern for my misfortunes, and her anxious
hope that I should speedily find an end to them, presented me with
half-a-guinea. The rest of the party also said many handsome things,
and the majority of them contributed to my relief. In addition to these
favours, one of the gentlemen, at the particular request of Lady W⸺,
took the trouble to write a letter in my behalf to the captain of a
man-of-war, supposed to be then lying at Portsmouth, entreating him to
give me an appointment under him. Her Ladyship, after obliging me to
take another glass of wine, and repeating her sorrow for my distress,
advised me to lose no time in prosecuting my journey, ordered a servant
to conduct me to the door at which I had first entered her premises, and
I took a respectful leave of this truly benevolent party.
Returning to the Eight Bells, I imparted my adventures to my friend, who
was, of course, much pleased at my success, for I had realized between
four and five pounds. I found this begging scheme so productive, that
I was in no hurry to pursue the Portsmouth speculation, and as we were
both satisfied with our present quarters, it was agreed that we should
continue a few days longer in Kingston, in which time I proposed to
follow up my success by making a regular circuit among the inhabitants;
and I, in fact, determined to levy similar contributions in every town
which lay in our route.
It is to be observed, that this idea of raising money was perfectly
original in me, for at that time I had never heard of such a practice,
but have since discovered that it is a very common expedient, and is
called by those persons who live by such impositions, “_the Letter
Racket_.”
The following day I again sallied forth, and met with equal success,
visiting not only the houses of private persons, but even the respectable
shopkeepers, _&c._; and I may here state, once for all, that in the
course of this, as well as my subsequent speculations of the same
nature, I met with various receptions, according to the charitable or
churlish dispositions of the people to whom I applied. Many pitied my
case and cheerfully relieved me. Others expressed equal commiseration,
but declined giving any thing, either because “they never encouraged
beggars,” or “they had poor enough of their own to maintain.” Some
invited me into their parlours, treated me with excessive politeness, and
obliged me to take refreshment at their own tables; and where there were
any young ladies in the family, I was an object of particular solicitude,
and the recital of my misfortunes drew many a sigh from their tender
bosoms. Others desired me, like the Mayor of Kingston, to go about my
business, and hinted that I ought to be sent to the house of correction
as a vagrant. Sometimes the servants who admitted me refused to present
my memorial, declaring they had strict orders from their masters or
mistresses never to trouble them on such an occasion. The donations I
commonly received, were from one shilling to five; sometimes, but rarely,
I was presented with gold, particularly at the seats of the nobility
and gentry, all which, laying within a short distance of the road I
travelled, I made a point of calling at; and for my information on this
subject, I provided myself with a comprehensive book of roads, in which
those objects are correctly laid down. Some truly charitable persons, but
whose means were limited, relieved me with sixpence, and of course I was
bound to accept such a trifle with as much appearance of thankfulness,
as I would a larger sum; and frequently when I called at a farm house by
the road-side, I have been compelled to take some cold meat, or other
eatables, which I afterwards bestowed upon the first more needy beggar
I met on my way. It was my custom in general, to travel on foot, making
short stages, and putting up at a good inn in every town I entered, where
I lived upon the best during my stay, and associated with London riders,
and other respectable guests. When tired of walking, I availed myself of
a passing stage-coach, or return post-chaise, and my only equipage was a
spare shirt, handkerchief, _&c._, which, with my book of roads, I carried
in a small bundle under my arm.
To resume my narrative, I returned from my second day’s excursion about
dusk in the evening, and entering the Eight Bells, was surprised at not
finding my companion within. On inquiring of the landlady, the good woman
informed me, with some degree of terror, that two of the town constables
had been in search of me; and kindly exhorted me, if I was conscious
of having done wrong, to make the best of my way from Kingston, as she
expected them to call again every minute, adding that she believed my
friend was gone out in quest of me. I smiled at the landlady’s fears,
and thanking her for her friendly advice, assured her I was unconscious
of any crime, and should willingly face the officers, come when they
might. I then desired to have some tea, which she set about preparing,
during which interval my fellow-traveller came in. I briefly concerted
with him the part we should respectively act, in case of our being called
upon to give an account of ourselves, though I had no conception on
what grounds I was to be apprehended. We now proceeded to take our tea,
but before we had half finished it, the constables entered the room,
and informed me they had orders to carry me before the magistrates, who
were then assembled in the town-hall; and that the young man, who they
understood to be my comrade, must also accompany me. I answered, I would
with pleasure attend them, but requested time to finish our repast, which
they consented to allow us; and we then proceeded all together to the
town-hall, the officers carrying our two bundles, which they had obtained
from the landlady by order of the justices. Being brought before the
bench, I immediately recognised among the persons in attendance, one of
the gentlemen I had seen at Lady W⸺’s dinner party, and the very same who
had written the letter of recommendation to Captain ⸺. This gentleman now
stated to the magistrates the circumstance of my coming to Lady W⸺’s
house the preceding evening, the extraordinary manner in which I had made
my appearance, and the reception I met with; and farther stated, that the
ensuing morning, it was discovered that a part of the fence enclosing the
pleasure-ground had been broken, and other damage done on the premises,
which led to a suspicion that I might be an impostor, who had a design to
rob the house, or do some other mischief, and that he, therefore, on the
part of Lady W⸺, wished me to be examined by their worships, and obliged
to give some further account of myself.
Though the suspicions of Lady W. and her friends appeared to have been
very weakly founded, and their idea to be utterly extravagant, the
justices entered seriously into the spirit of the business, and ordering
us to be set apart from each other, proceeded to interrogate us strictly
as to our professions, business in Kingston, the objects of our journey,
_&c._ I, for my part, adhered to the story I had before framed, which it
is needless to repeat to the reader, being devoid of interest, and as it
was for the most part utterly false, I cannot now minutely recollect it.
My companion’s account of himself was nearer the truth. He stated that
he had been an officer’s servant in the navy, and was now on his way
to Portsmouth in quest of a similar situation, but denied any further
knowledge of me than joining me by accident on the road, and as I was
bound to the same place, we had agreed to keep each other company.
Our bundles being next inspected, were found to contain nothing of a
suspicious nature, except a number of pawnbrokers’ duplicates, and these
we respectively accounted for as relating to wearing apparel, _&c._,
which our pecuniary distress had obliged us to pledge. This part of the
story was indeed strictly true, and in my case corroborated, and gave
an air of probability to my account. Nothing appearing to warrant the
detention of my companion, he was discharged, but with a positive order
to quit the town instantly. As to myself, having mentioned, in answer to
a query from one of the magistrates, the name of a certain gentleman, in
London, who knew me and my family, his worship declared he was himself
intimately acquainted with that gentleman, and as he was going to town
the next day, he should make a point of referring to him as to the truth
of my assertion. He therefore ordered a constable to detain me in custody
until his return from London. I was accordingly confined in the officer’s
house, where I had every necessary accommodation, for the expenses of
which the magistrate himself very kindly became accountable. My companion
visited me the same evening, prior to his departure, and I divided with
him the money I had acquired. It was his intention to proceed direct to
Portsmouth, and I promised, as soon as I was liberated to follow him,
taking a direction whereby to find him on my arrival.
The ensuing evening the magistrate returned from town, and immediately
sent for me to his own house. Being brought before his worship, who was
a brewer, named Sidebottom, I found him seated, not on the chair of
justice, but on a stool in his accompting-house. The old gentleman began
by remarking with some severity, on the impropriety and turpitude of my
conduct, in withdrawing myself from the protection of my respectable
friends, and traversing the country under such debasing circumstances.
He said he had understood from his friend Mr. Howell, that my relations
were both able and willing to take care of my fortunes. After a long
expostulation to the same effect, his worship continued: “Perhaps
you are not aware that it is in my power to commit you to bridewell
for a month for begging without a pass.” Then raising his voice and
brandishing his pen, he exclaimed with a very pompous air, “Young man,
I shall certainly⸺discharge you.” The two latter words relieved me from
a momentary anxiety; for when his worship paused, I certainly expected
he would add “commit you.” He proceeded, “but, on the express condition
that you immediately quit this town, and return to your friends. If you
are found hereabouts after this night, expect to be severely dealt with.”
I gladly accepted these terms, and assuring the old gentleman of my
compliance, took a respectful leave, his worship giving me a little more
wholesome advice, and generously presenting me with half-a-crown, as he
said, to carry me to London.
Being now discharged, I repaired to the Eight Bells, where I settled with
my landlady, and learnt from her that my companion had left Kingston the
preceding night at a late hour, by the Portsmouth coach. I slept this
night at the Eight Bells, and the next morning returned to London, where
on my arrival I found myself in possession of above five pounds, after
all the impediments I had met with.
As I made a point of keeping my word with my late fellow-traveller, I
determined on having one jovial evening in town, and resuming my journey
the next day, by the same route as before, notwithstanding Justice
Sidebottom’s prohibition. As to presenting myself to Mr. Howell, or going
near any of my friends, nothing was more foreign to my thoughts.
The following morning, I accordingly set out on my second expedition by
the Kingston stage, and arriving at that town, took up my lodging at a
public-house in the suburbs. Notwithstanding the check I had before met
with, I was so hardy as to stop three days in Kingston, during which I
levied contributions on most of the inhabitants, taking care to avoid
that part of the town I had before visited, and I was so lucky as to
meet with no interruption to my success. From Kingston I proceeded
to Guildford, taking in my way, Cobham, Ripley, and the intervening
villages; from Guildford to Godalming, thence to Liphook, where I
altered my course, and took a circuitous route by the way of Chichester,
to Portsmouth. This journey occupied about a fortnight, and arriving
at Portsmouth, I soon found my late companion, D⸺, who was lodged at
the house of an acquaintance, and not having yet obtained a birth on
ship-board, had engaged himself as an occasional clerk and assistant to
a tradesman in the town. I myself hired a small apartment in St. Mary’s
street, intending to remain a week or two in Portsmouth, where I had
never before been, and to enjoy such amusements as the place afforded,
as long as my money lasted. As my friend D⸺ appeared to have dropped the
idea of going on ship-board, I became also careless on that subject,
particularly as the motive which gave rise to that design (namely,
poverty) no longer existed, for I was now possessed, after all the
expenses of travelling, _&c._, of about fifteen pounds.
I spent several days in viewing the town, dock-yard, fleet, _&c._, and
in the evening generally visited the theatre, which was then open. About
a week after my arrival, reading the Portsmouth weekly paper, I saw an
advertisement for a clerk; and, as I found that some means of subsistence
would soon become necessary, and it was indifferent to me in what part
of the kingdom I sojourned, I determined to offer myself. Inquiring, as
directed, of Mottley, the bookseller, on the Parade, I was referred
to Moses Greetham, Esq., judge-advocate, also an attorney of the first
eminence. That gentleman, without hesitation, engaged me at a guinea
a week, and I next morning commenced my attendance at his office in
High-street. About the same time, my companion D⸺ suddenly quitted the
town, without acquainting me of his intention; and I was informed, on
inquiry, that he had gone to Southampton, but on what speculation I never
learnt, nor did I ever afterwards see or hear more of him.
The nature of my new employment was very agreeable and full of variety.
Besides Mr. Greetham’s public duties on courts-martial, and his general
practice as a solicitor, he had a great deal of business relating to
prizes, their condemnation, sale, proceeds, _&c._; and on these occasions
all the parties concerned met in a spacious room at the Crown inn, where
an elegant dinner, with wines in abundance, was invariably provided at
the expense of the clients. These dinners occurred three or four times
every week, and as they were afterwards succeeded by coffee, _&c._, the
expenses of living, to myself and the other clerk of Mr. Greetham, who
(as well as the latter gentleman), always partook of the entertainment,
were considerably diminished. During intervals, between dinner, tea,
_&c._, we retired to an adjoining room, where an hour or two was devoted
to writing depositions, examining ships’ papers, and other matters
relative to the cause in question. This was, in fact, one of the best
situations I ever met with, and, from its respectability, would, no
doubt, had I continued steady, have ultimately led to prosperity and
independence; but my evil genius interposed to ruin this, as well as all
my former hopes of happiness.
The circumstance which occasioned my losing this place was indeed very
trivial, and hardly amounted to a crime. Among the number of persons with
whom we transacted business, was a native of Holland, who acted in many
cases as an interpreter to Mr. Greetham, on the part of those concerned
in prize causes. This man being an original, both in person and manners,
was an inexhaustible subject of laughter to myself and fellow-clerk, who
was much older than me, and we omitted no opportunity of indulging in
mirth at his expense. As he was not possessed of much penetration and was
of a very placid disposition, he was commonly insensible of our jokes,
or, at least, took them in good part; but one afternoon, when we were all
three taking coffee together, the Dutchman rising from his seat on some
occasion, with a cup of boiling hot coffee in his hand, my brother-clerk,
who was just then in a merry vein, winked at me to withdraw the
interpreter’s chair. I obeyed the signal with alacrity, and the poor
fellow, attempting to resume his seat, was in a moment thrown keel
upwards, and, as he fell, received the boiling fluid full in his face. I
was so unfeelingly mischievous as to laugh immoderately at the pain and
embarrassment of the poor Dutchman, who certainly cut a most ridiculous
figure; but my fellow-clerk, who possessed more prudence than myself,
restrained his mirth, and, with a serious air, affected to condole with
the sufferer on his misfortune. He even carried his hypocrisy so far as
to express displeasure at the mischievous trick I had played. I felt much
indignation at his duplicity of conduct, and regretted, when too late,
that I had suffered myself to be made the dupe of his treachery; for I
was afterwards convinced that he was jealous of my abilities, and feared
I should supplant him in the favour of Mr. Greetham. The consequence
of this injudicious frolic was, that the interpreter complained to my
employer, who the next morning rebuked me severely for behaving with such
unbecoming freedom towards a respectable man in his immediate service;
and, observing that such levity of conduct rendered me unfit for his
office, Mr. Greetham presented me with a guinea, although this was only
the second day of the week, and declared he had no further occasion for
me.
Being now once more disengaged, I began to think of returning to London;
but, having still a little money left, I continued about a week longer
in Portsmouth, during which time I took up my lodging at the Blue Posts’
tavern, in Point-street, where I lived in the most sumptuous manner,
drinking my wine freely, and pretending that I was waiting for the
departure of the East India fleet, in which I was going out a passenger,
and that I expected my baggage from town in a few days. I had, while in
the service of Mr. Greetham, made several efforts to obtain clothes,
_&c._, upon the credit of my living with that gentleman; but I found the
Portsmouth tradesmen too wary to be imposed upon, and only succeeded
to a very trifling amount. I had, however, bilked my late lodging in
St. Mary’s street, and intended playing the same trick at the Blue
Posts. Finding, at length, that the landlord and waiters viewed me
with scrutinizing eyes, and appeared tacitly to ask for payment of my
reckoning, I left the coffee-room one evening after dinner, on pretence
of going to the play, and immediately quitted the town, taking the road
to Petersfield on foot.
On arriving at the latter place, which I had omitted in my journey
downwards, by striking into the Chichester road at Liphook, I levied a
small contribution, under the old pretext of going to Portsmouth, _&c._,
and then pursued my course to London, where I arrived in good spirits,
after an absence of eight weeks, with about ten pounds in my pocket,
having lived well during my expedition, and enjoyed a variety of pleasant
entertainment.