_A Room in Bonifaces Inn_.
_Enter Aimwell and Archer_.
_Arch_. Well, Tom, I find you 're a marksman.
_Aim_. A marksman! who so blind could be, as not
discern a swan among the ravens?
_Arch_. Well, but hark'ee, Aimwell!
_Aim_. Aimwell! call me Oroondates, Cesario, Amadis,
all that romance can in a lover paint, and then I 'll
answer. O Archer! I read her thousands in her
looks, she looked like Ceres in her harvest: corn,
wine and oil, milk and honey, gardens, groves, and
purling streams played on her plenteous face. {10}
_Arch_. Her face! her pocket, you mean; the corn, wine
and oil, lies there. In short, she has ten thousand
pounds, that's the English on't.
_Aim_. Her eyes------
_Arch_. Are demi-cannons, to be sure; so I won't stand
their battery. [_Going_.
_Aim_.-Pray excuse me, my passion must have vent.
_Arch_. Passion! what a plague, d' ye think these
romantic airs will do our business? Were my temper
as extravagant as yours, my adventures have something
more romantic by half. {21}
_Aim_. Your adventures!
_Arch_. Yes,
The nymph that with her twice ten hundred pounds,
With brazen engine hot, and quoif clear-starched,
Can fire the guest in warming of the bed----
There's a touch of sublime Milton for you, and the
subject but an innkeeper's daughter! I can play
with a girl as an angler does with his fish; he keeps
it at the end of his line, runs it up the stream, and
down the stream, till at last he brings it to hand,
tickles the trout, and so whips it into his basket.
_Enter Boniface_.
_Bon_. Mr. Martin, as the saying is--yonder's an honest
fellow below, my Lady Bountiful's butler, who begs
the honour that you would go home with him and
see his cellar.
_Arch_. Do my _baise-mains_ to the gentleman, and tell
him I will do myself the honour to wait on him
immediately. [_Exit Boniface_.
_Aim_. What do I hear? {40}
Soft Orpheus play, and fair Toftida sing!
_Arch_. Psha! damn your raptures; I tell you, here's a
pump going to be put into the vessel, and the ship
will get into harbour, my life on't. You say, there's
another lady very handsome there?
_Aim_. Yes, faith.
_Arch_. I 'm in love with her already.
_Aim_. Can't you give me a bill upon Cherry in the
meantime?
_Arch_. No, no, friend, all her corn, wine and oil, is
ingrossed to my market. And once more I warn
you, to keep your anchorage clear of mine; for if
you fall foul of me, by this light you shall go
to the bottom! What! make prize of my little
frigate, while I am upon the cruise for you!----
_Aim_. Well, well, I won't. [_Exit Archer_.
_Re-enter Boniface_.
Landlord, have you any tolerable company in the
house, I don't care for dining alone?
_Bon_. Yes, sir, there's a captain below, as the saying is,
that arrived about an hour ago. {60}
_Aim_. Gentlemen of his coat are welcome everywhere;
will you make him a compliment from me and tell
him I should be glad of his company?
_Bon_. Who shall I tell him, sir, would--
_Aim_. [_Aside_.] Ha! that stroke was well thrown in!--
[_Aloud._] I'm only a traveller, like himself, and
would be glad of his company, that's all.
_Bon_. I obey your commands, as the saying is. [_Exit_.
_Re-enter Archer_.
_Arch_. 'Sdeath I I had forgot; what title will you give
yourself? {70}
_Aim_. My brother's, to be sure; he would never give me
anything else, so I'll make bold with his honour
this bout:--you know the rest of your cue.
_Arch_. Ay, ay. [_Exit_.
_Enter Gibbet_.
_Gib_. Sir, I 'm yours.
_Aim_. 'Tis more than I deserve, sir, for I don't know
you.
_Gib_. I don't wonder at that, sir, for you never saw me
before--[_Aside_] I hope.
_Aim_. And pray, sir, how came I by the honour of seeing
you now? {81}
_Gib_. Sir, I scorn to intrude upon any gentleman--but
my landlord--
_Aim_. O sir, I ask your pardon, you 're the captain he
told me of?
_Gib_. At your service, sir.
_Aim_. What regiment, may I be so bold?
_Gib_. A marching regiment, sir, an old corps.
_Aim_. [_Aside_.] Very old, if your coat be regimental--
[_Aloud_.] You have served abroad, sir? {90}
_Gib_. Yes, sir--in the plantations, 'twas my lot to be
sent into the worst service; I would have quitted it
indeed, but a man of honour, you know--Besides,
'twas for the good of my country that I should be
abroad:--anything for the good of one's country--
I'm a Roman for that.
_Aim_. [_Aside_.] One of the first; I 'll lay my life. [_Aloud_.]
You found the West Indies very hot, sir?
_Gib_. Ay, sir, too hot for me.
_Aim_. Pray, sir, han't I seen your face at Will's coffee-house?
{101}
_Gib_. Yes, sir, and at White's too.
_Aim_. And where is your company now, captain?
_Gib_. They an't come yet.
_Aim_. Why, d' ye expect 'em here?
_Gib_. They 'll be here to-night, sir.
_Aim_. Which way do they march?
_Gib_. Across the country.--[_Aside_.] The devil's in 't, if I
han't said enough to encourage him to declare!
But I'm afraid he's not right; I must tack
about {111}
_Aim_. Is your company to quarter in Lichfield?
_Gib_. In this house, sir.
_Aim_. What! all?
_Gib_. My company's but thin, ha! ha! ha! we are but
three, ha! ha! ha!
_Aim_. You're merry, sir.
_Gib_. Ay, sir, you must excuse me, sir; I understand the
world, especially the art of travelling: I don't care,
sir, for answering questions directly upon the road--
for I generally ride with a charge about me. {121}
_Aim_. Three or four, I believe. [Aside.
_Gib_. I am credibly informed that there are highwaymen
upon this quarter; not, sir, that I could suspect a
gentleman of your figure--but truly, sir, I have got
such a way of evasion upon the road, that I don't
care for speaking truth to any man.
_Aim_. [_Aside_.] Your caution may be necessary.--[_Aloud_.]
Then I presume you're no captain? {129}
_Gib_. Not I, sir; captain is a good travelling name, and
so I take it; it stops a great many foolish inquiries
that are generally made about gentlemen that travel,
it gives a man an air of something, and makes the
drawers obedient:--and thus far I am a captain,
and no farther.
_Aim_. And pray, sir, what is your true profession?
_Gib_. O sir, you must excuse me!--upon my word, sir, I
don't think it safe to tell ye.
_Aim_. Ha! ha! ha! upon my word I commend you.
_Re-enter Boniface_.
Well, Mr. Boniface, what's the news? {140}
_Bon_. There's another gentleman below, as the saying is,
that hearing you were but two, would be glad to
make the third man, if you would give him leave.
_Aim_. What is he?
_Bon_. A clergyman, as the saying is.
_Aim_. A clergyman! is he really a clergyman? or is it
only his travelling name, as my friend the captain
has it?
_Bon_. O sir, he's a priest, and chaplain to the French
officers in town. {150}
_Aim_. Is he a Frenchman?
_Bon_. Yes, sir, born at Brussels.
_Gib_. A Frenchman, and a priest! I won't be seen in his
company, sir; I have a value for my reputation, sir.
_Aim_. Nay, but, captain, since we are by ourselves--can
he speak English, landlord?
_Bon_. Very well, sir; you may know him, as the saying
is, to be a foreigner by his accent, and that's all.
_Aim_. Then he has been in England before?
_Bon_. Never, sir; but he's a master of languages, as the
saying is; he talks Latin--it does me good to hear
him talk Latin. {162}
_Aim_. Then you understand Latin, Mr Boniface?
_Bon_. Not I, sir, as the saying is; but he talks it so very
fast, that I 'm sure it must be good.
_Aim_. Pray, desire him to walk up.
_Bon_. Here he is, as the saying is.
_Enter Foigard_.
_Foi_. Save you, gentlemens, bote.
_Aim_. [Aside.] A Frenchman!--[To Foigard.] Sir, your
most humble servant. {170}
_Foi_. Och, dear joy, I am your most faithful shervant,
and yours alsho.
_Gib_. Doctor, you talk very good English, but you have
a mighty twang of the foreigner.
_Foi_. My English is very veil for the vords, but we
foreigners, you know, cannot bring our tongues
about the pronunciation so soon.
_Aim_. [_Aside_.] A foreigner! a downright Teague, by
this light!--[_Aloud_.] Were you born in France,
doctor? {180}
_Foi_. I was educated in France, but I was borned at
Brussels; I am a subject of the King of Spain, joy.
_Gib_. What King of Spain, sir? speak!
_Foi_. Upon my shoul, joy, I cannot tell you as yet.
_Aim_. Nay, captain, that was too hard upon the doctor;
he's a stranger.
_Foi_. Oh, let him alone, dear joy; I am of a nation that is
not easily put out of countenance.
_Aim_. Come, gentlemen, I 'll end the dispute.--Here,
landlord, is dinner ready? {190}
_Bon_. Upon the table, as the saying is.
_Aim_. Gentlemen--pray--that door--
_Foi_. No, no, fait, the captain must lead.
_Aim_. No, doctor, the church is our guide.
_Gib_. Ay, ay, so it is.
[_Exit Foigard foremost, the others following_.