BALSQUITH (ambling calmly to the hearth). This is the business of the
Sergeant at Arms rather than of the leader of the House. Theres no use
in my tackling Mrs. Banger: she would only sit on my head too.
THE ORDERLY. You take my tip, Mr. Balsquith. Give the women the vote and
give the army civil rights; and av done with it.
Mitchener returns.
MITCHENER. Balsquith: prepare to hear the worst.
BALSQUITH. Sandstone is no more?
MITCHENER. On the contrary, he is particularly lively. He has softened
Mrs. Banger by a proposal of marriage in which he appears to be
perfectly in earnest. He says he has met his ideal at last, a really
soldierly woman. She will sit on his head for the rest of his life; and
the British Army is now to all intents and purposes commanded by Mrs.
Banger. When I remonstrated with Sandstone she positively shouted
"Right-about-face. March" at me in the most offensive tone. If she hadnt
been a woman I should have punched her head. I precious nearly punched
Sandstone's. The horrors of martial law administered by Mrs. Banger are
too terrible to be faced. I demand civil rights for the army.
THE ORDERLY (chuckling). Wot oh, General! Wot oh!
MITCHENER. Hold your tongue. (He goes to the door and calls.) Mrs.
Farrell! (Returning, and again addressing the Orderly.) Civil rights
don't mean the right to be uncivil. (Pleased with his own wit.) Almost a
pun. Ha ha!