MITCHENER (intolerantly). No I wont hang it all. It's no use coming
to me and talking about public opinion. You have put yourself into the
hands of the army; and you are committed to military methods. And the
basis of all military methods is that when people wont do what they are
told to do, you shoot them down.
BALSQUITH. Oh, yes; it's all jolly fine for you and Old Red. You dont
depend on votes for your places. What do you suppose will happen at the
next election?
MITCHENER. Have no next election. Bring in a Bill at once repealing
all the reform Acts and vesting the Government in a properly trained
magistracy responsible only to a Council of War. It answers perfectly in
India. If anyone objects, shoot him down.
BALSQUITH. But none of the members of my party would be on the Council
of War. Neither should I. Do you expect us to vote for making ourselves
nobodies?
MITCHENER. You'll have to, sooner or later, or the Socialists will make
nobodies of the lot of you by collaring every penny you possess. Do you
suppose this damned democracy can be allowed to go on now that the mob
is beginning to take it seriously and using its power to lay hands on
property? Parliament must abolish itself. The Irish parliament voted for
its own extinction. The English parliament will do the same if the same
means are taken to persuade it.
BALSQUITH. That would cost a lot of money.
MITCHENER. Not money necessarily. Bribe them with titles.
BALSQUITH. Do you think we dare?
MITCHENER (scornfully). Dare! Dare! What is life but daring, man? "To
dare, to dare, and again to dare"--
WOMAN'S VOICE OUTSIDE. Votes for Women!
Mitchener, revolver in hand, rushes to the door and locks it. Balsquith
hides under the table.
A shot is heard.
BALSQUITH (emerging in the greatest alarm). Good heavens, you havent
given orders to fire on them have you?
MITCHENER. No; but its a sentinel's duty to fire on anyone who persists
in attempting to pass without giving the word.
BALSQUITH (wiping his brow). This military business is really awful.
MITCHENER. Be calm, Balsquith. These things must happen; they save
bloodshed in the long run, believe me. Ive seen plenty of it; and I
know.
BALSQUITH. I havent; and I dont know. I wish those guns didnt make such
a devil of a noise. We must adopt Maxim's Silencer for the army rifles
if we are going to shoot women. I really couldnt stand hearing it.
Some one outside tries to open the door and then knocks.
MITCHENER and BALSQUITH. Whats that?
MITCHENER. Whos there?
THE ORDERLY. It's only me, governor. Its all right.
MITCHENER (unlocking the door and admitting the Orderly, who comes
between them). What was it?
THE ORDERLY. Suffraget, Sir.
BALSQUITH. Did the sentry shoot her?
THE ORDERLY. No, Sir: she shot the sentry.
BALSQUITH (relieved). Oh: is that all?
MITCHENER (most indignantly). All? A civilian shoots down one of His
Majesty's soldiers on duty; and the Prime Minister of England asks Is
that all? Have you no regard for the sanctity of human life?
BALSQUITH (much relieved). Well, getting shot is what a soldier is for.
Besides, he doesnt vote.
MITCHENER. Neither do the Suffragets.
BALSQUITH. Their husbands do. (To the Orderly.) By the way, did she kill
him?
THE ORDERLY. No, Sir. He got a stinger on his trousers, Sir; but it
didnt penetrate. He lost his temper a bit and put down his gun and
clouted her head for her. So she said he was no gentleman; and we let
her go, thinking she'd had enough, Sir.
MITCHENER (groaning). Clouted her head! These women are making the
army as lawless as themselves. Clouted her head indeed! A purely civil
procedure.
THE ORDERLY. Any orders, Sir?
MITCHENER. No. Yes. No. Yes: send everybody who took part in this
disgraceful scene to the guardroom. No. Ill address the men on the
subject after lunch. Parade them for that purpose--full kit. Don't grin
at me, Sir. Right about face. March. (The Orderly obeys and goes out.)
BALSQUITH (taking Mitchener affectionately by the arm and walking him
persuasively to and fro). And now, Mitchener, will you come to the
rescue of the Government and take the command that Old Red has thrown
up?
MITCHENER. How can I? You know that the people are devoted heart and
soul to Sandstone. He is only bringing you "on the knee," as we say in
the army. Could any other living man have persuaded the British nation
to accept universal compulsory military service as he did last year?
Why, even the Church refused exemption. He is supreme--omnipotent.
BALSQUITH. He WAS, a year ago. But ever since your book of reminiscences
went into two more editions than his, and the rush for it led to the
wrecking of the Times Book Club, you have become to all intents and
purposes his senior. He lost ground by saying that the wrecking was got
up by the booksellers. It showed jealousy: and the public felt it.
MITCHENER. But I cracked him up in my book--you see I could do no less
after the handsome way he cracked me up in his--and I cant go back on it
now. (Breaking loose from Balsquith.) No: its no use, Balsquith: he can
dictate his terms to you.