Timothy commences his narrative of his search after Japhet.
I could not help calling to mind that the same consequences as Timothy
related in the last chapter had occurred to me during my eventful career;
but I had long considered that there was no excuse for dishonesty, and
that, in the end, it would only lead to exposure and disgrace. I went
home early in the evening to introduce Timothy to Mr Cophagus, who
received him with great kindness, and agreed immediately that he ought
to be with me in the shop. Timothy paid his respects to the ladies, and
then went down with Ephraim, who took him under his protection. In a few
days, he was as established with us as if he had been living with us for
months. I had some trouble, at first, in checking his vivacity and turn
for ridicule; but that was gradually effected, and I found him not only
a great acquisition, but, as he always was, a cheerful and affectionate
companion. I had, during the first days of our meeting, recounted my
adventures, and made many inquiries of Timothy relative to my few
friends. He told me that from Mr Masterton he had learnt that Lady de
Clare and Fleta had called upon him very much afflicted with the contents
of my letter--that Lord Windermear also had been very much vexed and
annoyed--that Mr Masterton had advised him to obtain another situation
as a valet, which he had refused, and, at the same time, told him his
intention of searching for me. He had promised Mr Masterton to let him
know if he found me, and then bade him farewell.
"I used to lie in bed, Japhet," continued Timothy, "and think upon the
best method of proceeding. At last, I agreed to myself, that to look for
you as you looked after your father, would be a wild-goose chase, and
that my money would soon be gone; so I reflected whether I might not
take up some roving trade which would support me, and, at the same time,
enable me to proceed from place to place. What do you think was my first
speculation? Why, I saw a man with a dog harnessed in a little cart,
crying dog's meat and cat's meat, and I said to myself, 'Now there's the
very thing--there's a profession--I can travel and earn my livelihood.'
I entered into conversation with him, as he stopped at a low
public-house, treating him to a pot of beer; and having gained all I
wanted as to the mysteries of the profession, I called for another pot,
and proposed that I should purchase his whole concern, down to his knife
and apron. The fellow agreed, and after a good deal of bargaining, I
paid him three guineas for the _set out_ or _set up_, which you please.
He asked me whether I meant to hawk in London or not, and I told him no,
that I should travel the country. He advised the western road, as there
were more populous towns in it. Well, we had another pot to clench the
bargain, and I paid down the money and took possession, quite delighted
with my new occupation. Away I went to Brentford, selling a bit here and
there by the way, and at last arrived at the very bench where we had sat
down together and eaten our meal."
"It is strange that I did the same, and a very unlucky bench it proved
to me."
"So it did to me, as you shall hear. I had taken up my quarters at that
inn, and for three days had done very well in Brentford. On the third
evening I had just come back, it was nearly dusk, and I took my seat on
the bench, thinking of you. My dog, rather tired, was lying down before
the cart, when all of a sudden I heard a sharp whistle. The dog sprang
on his legs immediately, and ran off several yards before I could prevent
him. The whistle was repeated, and away went the dog and cart like
lightning. I ran as fast as I could, but could not overtake him; and I
perceived that his old master was running ahead of the dog as hard as he
could, and this was the reason why the dog was off. Still I should, I
think, have overtaken him, but an old woman coming out of a door with a
saucepan to pour the hot water into the gutter, I knocked her down and
tumbled right over her into a cellar without steps. There I was, and
before I could climb out again, man, dog, cart, cat's meat and dog's
meat, had all vanished, and I have never seen them since. The rascal
got clear off, and I was a bankrupt. So much for my first set up in
business."
"You forgot to purchase the _good-will_ when you made your bargain,
Timothy, for the stock in trade."
"Very true, Japhet. However, after receiving a very fair share of abuse
from the old woman, and a plaister of hot greens in my face--for she
went supperless to bed, rather than not have her revenge--I walked
back to the inn, and sat down in the tap. The two men next to me were
hawkers; one carried a large pack of dimities and calicoes, and the
other a box full of combs, needles, tapes, scissors, knives, and
mock-gold trinkets. I entered into conversation with them, and, as I
again stood treat, I soon was very intimate. They told me what their
profits were, and how they contrived to get on, and I thought, for a
rambling life, it was by no means an unpleasant one; so having obtained
all the information I required, I went back to town, took out a hawker's
licence, for which I paid two guineas, and purchasing at a shop, to which
they gave me a direction, a pretty fair quantity of articles in the tape
and scissor line, off I set once more on my travels. I took the north
road this time, and picked up a very comfortable subsistence, selling
my goods for a few halfpence here and a few halfpence there, at the
cottages as I passed by; but I soon found out, that without a newspaper,
I was not a confirmed hawker, and the more radical the newspaper the
better. A newspaper will pay half the expenses of a hawker, if he can
read. At every house, particularly every small hedge ale-house, he is
received, and placed in the best corner of the chimney, and has his board
and lodging, with the exception of what he drinks, gratis, if he will
pull out the newspaper and read it to those around him who cannot read,
particularly if he can explain what is unintelligible. Now I became a
great politician, and, moreover, a great radical, for such were the
politics of all the lower classes. I lived well, slept well, and sold
my wares very fast. I did not take more than three shillings in the
day, yet, as two out of the three were clear profit, I did pretty well.
However, a little accident happened which obliged me to change my
profession, or at least, the nature of the articles which I dealt in."
"What was that?"
"A mere trifle. I had arrived late at a small ale-house, had put up my
pack, which was in a painted deal box, on the table in the tap-room, and
was very busy, after reading a paragraph in the newspaper, making a fine
speech, which I always found was received with great applause, and many
shakes of the hand, as a prime good fellow--a speech about community of
rights, agrarian division, and the propriety of an equal distribution of
property, proving that, as we were all born alike, no one had a right to
have more property than his neighbour. The people had all gathered round
me, applauding violently, when I thought I might as well look after my
pack, which had been for some time hidden from my sight by the crowd,
when, to my mortification, I found out that my earnest assertions on
the propriety of community of property had had such an influence upon
some of my listeners, that they had walked off with my pack and its
contents. Unfortunately, I had deposited in my boxes all my money,
considering it safer there than in my pockets, and had nothing left but
about seventeen shillings in silver, which I had received within the last
three days. Every one was very sorry, but no one knew anything about it;
and when I challenged the landlord as answerable, he called me a radical
blackguard, and turned me out of the door."
"If you had looked a little more after your own property, and interfered
less with that of other people, you would have done better, Tim,"
observed I, laughing.
"Very true; but, at all events, I have never been a radical since,"
replied Tim. "But to go on. I walked off to the nearest town, and I
commenced in a more humble way. I purchased a basket, and then, with
the remainder of my money, I bought the commonest crockery ware, such
as basins, jugs, mugs, and putting them on my head, off I went again
upon my new speculation. I wandered about with my crockery, but it was
hard work. I could not reap the profits which I did as a hawker and
pedlar. I averaged, however, from seven to nine shillings a week and
that was about sufficient for my support. I went down into as many
kitchens as would have sufficed to have found a dozen mothers, supposing
mine to be a cook; but I did not see anyone who was at all like me.
Sometimes a cook replaced a basin she had broken, by giving me as much
meat as had cost her mistress five shillings, and thus avoided a
scolding, for an article which was worth only two-pence. At other times,
a cottager would give me a lodging, and would consider himself rewarded
with a mug that only cost me one penny. I was more than three months
employed carrying crockery in every direction, and never, during the
whole time, broke one article, until one day, as I passed through
Eton, there was a regular smash of the whole concern."
"Indeed, how was that?"
"I met about a dozen of the Eton boys, and they proposed a cockshy, as
they called it; that is, I was to place my articles on the top of a post,
and they were to throw stones at them at a certain distance, paying me a
certain sum for each throw. Well, this I thought a very good bargain, so
I put up a mug (worth one penny) at one penny a throw. It was knocked
down at the second shot, so it was just as well to put the full price
upon them at once, they were such remarkably good aimers at anything.
Each boy had a stick, upon which I notched off their throws, and how
much they would have to pay when all was over. One article after another
was put on the post until my basket was empty, and then I wanted to
settle with them; but as soon as I talked about that, they all burst
out into a loud laugh, and took to their heels. I chased them, but one
might as well have chased eels. If I got hold of one, the others pulled
me behind until he escaped, and at last they were all off, and I had
nothing left."
"Not your basket?"
"No, not even that; for while I was busy after some that ran one way,
the others kicked my basket before them like a football, until it was
fairly out of sight. I had only eight-pence in my pocket, so you perceive,
Japhet, how I was going down in the world."
"You were indeed, Tim."