DINNER-TABLE ETIQUETTE
Fashion has its freaks and its vagaries, and in relation to inanimate
objects these freaks and vagaries are but transitory and evanescent, but
when they touch upon manners and modes they become a conventionality and
a custom perhaps for many a year. Changes and innovations, slight as
they are, are more subtle than sudden, and, paradoxical as it may seem,
they are as important as they are insignificant; still it is difficult
to believe that fingers once did duty for forks, and that it was not
customary for a host to supply his guests with forks, who, if fastidious
enough to require them, were expected to bring them in their pockets.
There are here and there people in society who affect a few
eccentricities of manner, but these whims at all times take the form of
originalities and not of vulgarities; and even then are only indulged in
by those whose position in society is secure.
=As regards Dinner-table Etiquette.=--When a lady has taken her seat at
the dinner-table, she should at once remove her gloves; although
occasionally long elbow gloves are not removed during dinner, but this
is conspicuous and inconvenient. She should unfold her serviette and
place it on her lap. It is immaterial whether she places the bread on
the right or left-hand side of the cover when taking it from the
serviette.
A gentleman should do the same with his serviette and bread, placing
the one across his knees, and the other at his right or left hand.
When a lady is some little time taking off her gloves, she should remove
her serviette before doing so: otherwise a servant would offer her soup
before she had made room for the soup-plate by removing the serviette,
and she should decide quickly as to which of the two soups handed to her
she will take, so as not to keep the servant waiting; and so on through
every course throughout the dinner as regards fish, meat, etc.
=The guests should consult the menu= on first sitting down to dinner.
Eating soup comes first under notice. In olden days it was customary to
drink it out of a basin. In these days no one "drinks" soup, it is
"eaten"; whether it be mock turtle or the clearest julienne, it is eaten
out of a soup-plate at dinner, and with a table-spoon.
There is a reason for this choice of spoons; soup is nothing if it is
not hot, and as it is the custom to give only about half a ladleful to
each person, it is eaten quicker, and therefore hotter, with a large
spoon than with a small one.
There is also a good and sufficient reason for small quantities of soup
being given in lieu of large ones, viz. the extent of the menu; and when
a plateful of soup is handed to a guest accustomed to the regulation
supply, he fears that he is expected to dine off it, and that there is
nothing much to follow.
Again, small helpings require a smaller quantity of soup to be provided,
and a servant is less likely to spill plates containing a little soup
than plates that are half full.
At ball suppers, when soup is served in soup-plates, it is also eaten
with a table-spoon, but not when served in small cups.
Many years ago it was fashionable to eat fish with a fork and a crust of
bread; previous to this a table-knife and fork were considered the
proper things to use for this purpose. It was then discovered that a
steel knife gave an unpalatable flavour to the fish, and a crust of
bread was substituted for the knife. This fashion lasted a considerable
time, in spite of the fingers being thus brought unpleasantly near to
the plate, and to this day old-fashioned people have a predilection for
that crust of bread. One evening a well-known diner-out discarded his
crust of bread, and ate his fish with two silver forks; this notion
found such general favour that society dropped the humble crust and took
up a second fork. This fashion had its little day, but at length the two
forks were found heavy for the purpose and not altogether satisfactory,
and were superseded by the dainty and convenient little silver
fish-knife and fork which are now in general use.
Small pieces of fish should always be given, and two different sorts of
fish should not be placed on the same plate.
=When oysters are given= they precede the soup, and should be eaten with
a dinner-fork, not with a fish-fork. In eating oysters the shell should
be steadied on the plate with the fingers of the left hand, the oysters
should not be cut, but should be eaten whole. Very many ladies do not
eat oysters at dinner simply because they do not like them, while others
refuse them under the impression that it is more ladylike not to eat
them. Perhaps with regard to young ladies it is a taste to be acquired.
Some men are very, if not over, fastidious, about the appetites
displayed by ladies, and would have them reject the _entrees_ and dine
upon a slice of chicken and a spoonful of jelly. Others, on the
contrary, respect a good appetite as giving proof of good health and
good digestion. There is of course a medium in all things, and as large
dinners are ordered mainly with a view to please the palates of men with
epicurean tastes, it is not expected that ladies should eat of the most
highly seasoned and richest of the dishes given, but should rather
select the plainest on the menu. This remark more particularly applies
to young ladies and young married ladies, whilst middle-aged and elderly
ladies are at liberty to do pretty much as they please, without
provoking comment or even observation.
=With reference to entrees=, some are eaten with a knife and fork,
others with a fork only. All _entrees_ that offer any resistance to a
fork require the aid of both knife and fork, such as cutlets, _filet de
b[oe]uf_, sweetbreads, etc., but when _rissoles_, patties, _quenelles_,
boneless curry, _vol-au-vents_, _timbales_, etc., are eaten, the fork
only should be used.
In the case of the lighter _entrees_, the contact of the knife is
supposed to militate against their delicate flavour; thus, for these
_bonnes bouches_ the fork is all-sufficient wherewith to divide and eat
them.
The leg of a chicken, pheasant, duck, or wild duck should never be given
to a guest save on those occasions when there are more guests present
than there is meat from breasts and wings to offer them. Under these
circumstances the carver is reduced to the necessity of falling back
upon the legs of the birds, but in this case only the upper part of the
thigh should be given, thus a guest has little difficulty in cutting the
meat from the bone. A wing of a bird is usually given to a lady.
Formerly it was thought a correct thing to sever the wing at the joint
and then to cut the meat from the bone; but this requires a certain
amount of strength in the wrist, and dexterity, should the bird not be
in its _premiere jeunesse_.
As regards small pigeons, golden plovers, snipe, quails, larks, etc., a
whole bird is given to each guest, and the proper way to eat these birds
is to cut the meat from the breast and wings and to eat each morsel at
the moment of cutting it; the bird should not be turned over and over on
the plate, or cut in half or otherwise dissected. The legs of Bordeaux
pigeons are not, as a rule, eaten, and half a bird only is given, as
there is sufficient on the wing and breast to satisfy an ordinary
second-course appetite. When the legs of smaller birds are eaten, such
as snipe or golden plover, the meat should be cut off as from the breast
or wing.
Young girls, as a rule, seldom eat a second course delicacy of this
description; a little chicken or pheasant on the contrary is usually
accepted by them.
=When large potatoes are served= in their skins a salad-plate should be
handed at the same time whereon to place them.
=When asparagus first comes into season= it is often given in the second
course instead of in the first, in which case it is eaten as a separate
dish. When handed with meat or poultry it should be eaten on the same
plate containing either.
In eating asparagus, some elderly gentlemen still adhere to the fashion
of their youth and hold the stalks in their fingers, but the younger
generation cut off the points with a knife and fork.
Sea-kale also is given in the second course when first in season, and
should be eaten with a knife and fork.
Mushrooms are also eaten with a knife and fork.
It need hardly be said that it would be a vulgarity to eat peas with a
knife, although those who reside abroad, or who are in the habit of
travelling on the continent, are not unaccustomed to seeing this done by
foreigners who are well-bred men.
Artichokes are, it may be said, an awkward and untidy vegetable to eat;
they are only given in the second course as a separate vegetable; the
outside leaves should be removed with the knife and fork, and the inner
leaves which surround the heart, or head of the artichoke should be
conveyed to the mouth with the fingers and sucked dry; epicures consider
this vegetable a dainty morsel, but at dinner-parties young ladies
should not attempt to eat these artichokes.
Savouries, when possible, should be eaten with a fork, but occasionally
a knife also is of imperative use.
=As regards sweets=, _compotes_ of fruit and fruit tarts should be eaten
with a dessert-spoon and fork, as should those dishes where juice or
syrup prevails to the extent of rendering a dessert-spoon necessary. But
whenever it is possible to use a fork in preference to a spoon it is
always better to do so.
Jellies, creams, blancmanges, ice puddings, etc., should be eaten with a
fork.
As a matter of course, young ladies do not eat cheese at
dinner-parties.