A few months ago the spectacle presented itself of a very respectable
lady of the Seventh Ward, wearing a black eye. There never was a case of
ante-election that was any more perfect than the one this lady carried.
We have seen millions of black eyes in our time, some of which were
observed in a mirror, but we never saw one that suggested a row any
plainer than the one the Seventh Ward lady wore. It was cut biased,
that being the latest style of black eye, and was fluted with purple and
orange shade, and trimmed with the same. Probably we never should have
known about the black eye had not the lady asked, as she held her hand
over one eye, if there was any truth in the story that a raw oyster
would cure a black eye. She came to us as an expert. When we told her
that a piece of beefsteak was worth two oysters she uncovered the eye.
It looked as though painted by one of the old masters.
Rather than have anybody think she had been having a row she explained
how it happened. She was sitting with her husband and little girl in the
parlor, and while the two were reading, the little one disappeared. The
mother went to the girl's room, on tip-toe, to see if she was asleep.
She found the girl with all her dolls on the floor, having a doll's
prayer meeting. She had them all down on their knees, and would let
them pray one at a time, then sing. One of the dolls that squeaked when
pressed on the stomach was leader of the singing, and the little girl
bossed the job. There was one old maid doll that the little girl seemed
to be disgusted with because the doll talked too much, and she would
say:
“There, Miss, you sit down and let some of the other sisters get in a
word edgeways. Sister Perkins, won't you relate your experience?”
After listening to this for a few moments the mother heard the girl say:
“Now, Polly, you pass the collection plate, and nobody must put in
lozengers, and then we will all go to the dancing school.”
The whole thing was so ridiculous that the mother attempted to rush down
stairs three at a time, to have her husband come up to prayer meeting,
when she stubbed herself on a stair rod, and--well, she got the black
eye on the journey down stairs, though what hit her she will probably
never know. But she said when she began to roll down stairs she felt
in her innermost soul as though she had broke up that prayer meeting
prematurely.