An Oshkosh young man started for a picnic in a buggy with two girls,
and when they got half way they got a hot box to the hind wheel of the
buggy, and they remained there all the afternoon pouring water on the
wheel, missing the picnic. There is nothing that will cause a hot box in
a buggy so quick as going to a picnic with girls. Particularly is this
the case when one has two girls. No young man should ever take two girls
to a picnic. He may think one cannot have too much of a good thing,
and that he holds over the most of the boys who have only one girl, but
before the picnic is over he will note the look of satisfaction on the
faces of the other boys as they stray off in the vernal shade, and he
will look around at his two girls as though his stomach was overloaded.
We don't care how attractive the girls are, or how enterprising a boy he
is, or how expansive or far-reaching a mind he has, he cannot do justice
to the subject if he has two girls. There will be a certain clashing of
interests that no young boy in his goslinghood, as most boys are when
they take two girls to a picnic, has the diplomacy to prevent. Now, this
may seem a trifling thing to write about and for a great pious paper
to publish, but there is more at the bottom of it than is generally
believed. If we start the youth of the land out right in the first place
they will be all right, but if they start out by taking two girls to a
picnic their whole lives are liable to become acidulated, and they will
grow up hating themselves. If a young man is good-natured and tries
to do the fair thing, and a picnic is got up, the rest of the boys are
liable to play it on him. There is always some old back number of a girl
who has no fellow, who wants to go, and the boys, after they all get
girls and buggies engaged, will canvass among themselves to see who
shall take this extra girl, and it always falls to the good-natured
young man. He says of course there is room for three in the buggy.
Sometimes he thinks may be this old girl can be utilized to drive the
horse, and then he can converse with his own sweet girl, with both
hands, but in such a moment as ye think not he finds out that the extra
girl is afraid of horses, dare not drive, and really requires some
holding to keep her nerves quiet. The young man begins to realize by
this time that life is one great disappointment. He tries to drive with
one hand hand, and consoles his good girl, who is a little cross at
the turn affairs have taken, with the other, but it is a failure, and
finally his good girl says she will drive, and then he has to put an arm
around them both, which will give more or less dissatisfaction, the best
way you can fix it. If we had a boy that didn't seem to have any more
sense than to make a hat rack of himself to hang girls on in a buggy we
should labor with him and tell him of the agonies we had experienced
in youth, when the boys palmed off two girls on us to take to a country
picnic, and we believe we can do no greater favor to the young men
who are just entering the picnic of life than to impress upon them the
importance of doing one thing at a time, and doing it well. Start right
at first, and life will be one continued picnic buggy ride, but if your
mind is divided in youth you will always be looking for hot boxes and
annoyance.