necessity of most scrupulous guarding against the very first
commencement or even against the appearance of evil is in no instance
so just and so important as in the case of all sins of this class.
Many a man who would have been restrained from the commission of sins
of this class by motives of worldly prudence or considerations of
humanity, has been hurried into sin by not attending to this warning.
I myself remember an instance of this kind in two people, both of whom
I knew. And as Paley truly remarks that there is no class of vices
which so depraves the character as illicit intercourse with the female
sex, so he likewise mentions it as a striking proof of the superior
excellence of Christ's moral precepts, that in the case of chastity and
purity it lays the restraint on the _heart_ and on the _thoughts_ as
the only way of providing against the grossest acts of disobedience.
Oh, my dear Samuel, guard here with especial care, and may God protect
and keep you. Indeed, I trust He will, and it is with exceeding
pleasure that I think of you, and humbly and hopefully look forward on
your advancing course in life. I did not intend saying half so much,
but when I enter into conversation with my Samuel I know not how to
stop. 'With thee conversing I forget all course of seasons and their
change.'"
"_October 26, 1822._
"I cannot to-day send you the account of _time_, but I will transmit
it to you. It was a very simple business, and the chief object was to
take precautions against the disposition to waste time at breakfast and
other _rendezvous_, which I have found in myself when with agreeable
companions, and to prove to myself by the decisive test of figures that
I was not working so hard as I should have supposed from a general
survey of my day. The grand point is to maintain an habitual sense of
responsibility and to practise self-examination daily as to the past
and the future day."
"_March 17, 1822._
"No man has perhaps more cause for gratitude to God than myself. But
of all the various instances of His goodness, the greatest of all,
excepting only His Heavenly Grace, is the many kind friends with whom
a Gracious Providence has blessed me. Oh remember, my dearest boy, to
form friendships with those only who love and serve God, and when once
you have formed them, then preserve them as the most valuable of all
possessions.
"One of my chief motives now for paying visits is to cultivate the
friendship of worthy people who, I trust, will be kind to my dearest
children when I am no more. I hope you and the rest will never act so
as to be unworthy of the connections I have formed."
"_November 22, 1822._
"Robert Grant's[49] election has cost my eyes more than they could well
expend on such a business. But both his hereditary, and his personal,
claim to all I could do was irresistible. Your mother, Elizabeth, and
I have of late been moving from place to place, staying a few days
with the Whitmores, with the Gisbornes and Evans's, and from them with
a Mr. Smith Wright and his wife, Lady Sitwell. She is a sensible,
interesting woman. They live in a residence, Okeover, which is in the
most beautiful part of Derbyshire, very near Dovedale, close to Ilam,
&c. My dear Samuel will one day, I trust, delight himself in these
beautiful and romantic vallies. My chief object in these visits was
to provide future intimacies and I hope friendships for you and your
brothers. And how thankful ought we to be, to be enabled thus to select
for our associates the best families in so many different counties;
best, I mean, in the true sense of the word,--men of real worth, who,
I am sure, will always receive you with kindness for my sake. I often
look up with gratitude to the Giver of all good, for the favour with
men--which it would be affectation not to confess where it is not
improper to mention such things, that He has graciously given me,
chiefly in the view of its ensuring for my children the friendly regard
and personal kindnesses of many good people after I shall be laid low
in the grave.
"I could have made them acquainted with great people, but I have always
avoided it, from a conviction that such connections would tend neither
to their temporal comfort in the long run, nor to the advancement of
their eternal interests. But it is most gratifying to me to reflect
that they will be known to some of the very best people in the kingdom,
and to good people of other countries also. Oh, my dear Samuel, how
thankful should we be to our Heavenly Father who has made our cup to
overflow with mercies. How rich will our portion appear when compared
with that of so many of our fellow-creatures. It used, when I was a
bachelor especially, when I often spent my Sundays alone, to be my
frequent Sunday habit to number up my blessings, and I assure you it is
a most useful practice; _e.g._, that I had been born in Great Britain,
in such a century, such a part of it, such a rank in life, such a class
and character of parents, then my personal privileges. But I have no
time to-day for long conversation."
The next letter touches on topics of the day, and then refers to the
son's question, Why had not his father a settled home? Evidently Samuel
felt it a desolate arrangement, but Wilberforce, as was his wont, finds
certain advantages in the very discomforts of the plan.
"_December 5, 1822._
"I believe I never answered your question who it was that advised me to
retire from Parliament. I entirely forget. Your question, Will there
be war? I answer, I know no more than you do, but I am inclined to
believe the French will attack Spain, very unadvisedly in my opinion,
and I shall be surprised if the French Government itself, however
priding itself on its policy, will not ultimately have reason to form
the same judgment.... Never was there before a country on earth, the
public affairs of which (for many years past at least I may affirm it,)
were administered with such a simple and strong desire to promote the
public welfare as those of Great Britain. And it is very remarkable
that some of those very measures which were brought forward and carried
through with the most general concurrence have subsequently appeared
most doubtful. The present extreme distress of the agricultural class
throughout the whole kingdom, is admitted by all to have been in some
degree, by many to have been entirely, caused by our ill-managed if
not ill-advised return to cash payments, in which nearly the whole of
both Houses concurred. Surely this should teach us to be diffident in
our judgments of others, and to hold our own opinions with moderation.
In short, my dear Samuel, the best preparation for being a good
politician, as well as a superior man in every other line, is to be a
truly religious man. For this includes in it all those qualities which
fit men to pass through life with benefit to others and with reputation
to ourselves. Whatever is to be the effect produced by the subordinate
machinery, the main-spring must be the desire to please God, which,
in a Christian, implies faith in Christ and a grateful sense of the
mercies of God through a Redeemer, and an aspiration after increasing
holiness of heart and life. And I am reminded (you will soon see the
connection of my ideas) of a passage in a former letter of yours
about a home, and I do not deny that your remarks were very natural.
Yet every human situation has its advantages as well as its evils.
And if the want of a home deprive us of the many and great pleasures
which arise out of the relations and associations, especially in the
case of a large family, with which it is connected, yet there is an
advantage, and of a very high order, in our not having this well-known
anchoring ground, if I may so term it. We are less likely to lose the
consciousness of our true condition in this life; less likely to forget
that while sailing in the ocean of life we are always exposed to the
buffeting of the billows, nay, more, to the rock and the quicksand.
The very feeling of desolateness of which you speak--for I do not deny
having formerly experienced some sensations of this kind, chiefly when
I used to be long an inmate of the houses of friends who had wives and
families to welcome them home again after a temporary absence--this
very feeling led me, and taught me in some measure habitually to look
upwards to my permanent and never failing inheritance, and to feel that
I was to consider myself here as a pilgrim and a stranger who had no
continuing city but who sought one to come. Yet this very conviction is
by no means incompatible with the attachment and enjoyment of home-born
pleasures, which doubtless are natural and virtuous pleasures, such as
it gratifies me and fills me with hope to see that my very dear Sam
relishes with such vivid delight and that he looks forward to them with
such grateful anticipations.
"I have not time now to explain to you, as otherwise I would, how it
happened that I do not possess a country house. But I may state to
you in general, that it arose from my not having a large fortune,
compared, I mean, with my situation, and from the peculiar duties and
circumstances of my life."
"_March 23, 1823._
"Above all remember _the one thing needful_. I had far rather that
you should be a true Christian than a learned man, but I wish you to
become the latter through the influence of the former. I had far rather
see you unlearned than learned from the impulse of the love of human
estimation as your main principle."
On the 15th of May Mr. F. Buxton moved this resolution in the House of
Commons: "That the state of slavery is repugnant to the principles of
the British Constitution and of the Christian Religion, and that it
ought to be abolished gradually throughout the British Colonies with
as much expedition as may be found consistent with a due regard to the
well-being of the parties concerned." The main point was that all negro
children born after a certain day were to be free.
"_May 17, 1823._
"The debate was by no means so interesting as we expected. Buxton's
opening speech was not so good as his openings have before been. His
reply however, though short, was, not sweet indeed, but excellent. I
was myself placed in very embarrassing circumstances from having at
once to decide, without consulting my friends, on Mr. Canning's offers,
if I may so term them. However, I thank God, I judged rightly, that
it would not be wise to press for more on that night, as subsequent
conversation with our friends rendered indubitably clear; and on the
whole we have done good service, I trust, by getting Mr. Canning
pledged to certain important reforms. I should speak of our gain in
still stronger terms but for his (Canning's) chief friend being a West
Indian, Mr. Charles Ellis, a very gentlemanly, humane man, but by no
means free from the prejudices of his caste.
"Dear Robert has just been prevailed on by William's kind importunity
to try to study for a while at Brompton Grove. I am glad of it on all
accounts. It would add substantially to the pleasures of my life, if
my dear boys could acquire firmness enough to study at home. I would
do my best to promote the success of the experiment; but, believe me,
it is a sad habit that of being able to study only when you have 'all
appliances and means to boot.'
"I just recollect this letter will reach you on the Sunday. Allow me,
therefore, to repeat my emphatic valediction _Remember_. You will be
in my heart and in my prayers, and probably we shall be celebrating
about the same time the memorial of our blessed Lord's suffering and
the bond of the mutual affection of His disciples towards each other.
The anniversaries which have passed remind me forcibly of the rapid
flight of time. My course must be nearly run, though perhaps it may
please that God who has hitherto caused goodness and mercy to follow me
all my days, to allow me to see my dear boys entered into the exercise
of their several professions, if they are several. But how glad shall I
be if they all can conscientiously enter into the ministry, that most
useful and most honourable of all human employments."[50]
"_June 14._
"All may be done through prayer--almighty prayer, I am ready to say;
and why not? for that it is almighty is only through the gracious
ordination of the God of love and truth. Oh then, pray, pray,
pray, my dearest boy. But then remember to estimate your state on
self-examination not by your prayers, but by what you find to be the
effects of them on your character, tempers, and life."
"_July 12, 1823._
"It has often been a matter of grief to me that both Henry and Robert
have a sad habit of appearing, if not of being, inattentive at church.
The former I have known turn half or even quite round and stare (I use
the word designedly) into the opposite pew. I am not aware whether you
have the same disposition (real or apparent) to inattention at public
worship. I trust I need not endeavour to enforce on you that it is a
practice to be watched against with the utmost care. It is not only a
crime in ourselves, but it is a great stumbling-block of offence to
others. The late Mr. Scott, though an excellent man, had contracted a
habit of staring in general while reading the prayers of our excellent
liturgy; and he once told me himself he actually did it most, when
his mind was most intent on the solemn service he was performing. But
to others he appeared looking at the congregation, especially at any
persons entering the chapel, and many I fear were encouraged to a
degree of distraction and inattention in prayer by the unseemly habit
he had contracted. Now let me entreat you, my dearest boy, to watch
against every approach to inattention in yourself, and to help dear
Henry, in whom I have remarked the practice, to get the better of it. I
have always found it a great aid in keeping my thoughts from wandering
at church to repeat the prayers to myself, either in a whisper or
mentally, as the minister has being going along, and I highly approve
of making responses, and always when you were children tried to have
you make them; but I used to think your mother did not join me in this
when you were next to her, partly probably from her own mind being
more closely engaged in the service--prayer being the grand means of
maintaining our communication with heaven, and the life of religion in
the soul claiming all possible attention."
In the next letter Wilberforce mentions that he had limited his
personal expenditure so as to have larger sums to give away. He
says that he had left off giving claret, then a costly wine, and
some other expensive articles still exhibited by those of his rank.
He speaks strongly against gratifying all the cravings of fashion,
thoughtlessness, or caprice.
"BARMOUTH, _October 14, 1823._
"MY VERY DEAR SAMUEL,--I again take up my pen to give you my sentiments
on the important subject on which I promised to write to you, and on
which you have kindly asked my advice. But before I proceed to fulfil
this engagement let me mention what I had intended to state in my last,
but omitted, that I have reason to believe dear Robert has suffered
in the estimation of some of my friends, whether rightly or wrongly I
really know not, from the idea that his associates were not religious
men (irreligious in its common acceptation would convey more than
I mean), and therefore that he preferred that class of companions.
Now when people have once conceived anything of a prejudice against
another, on whatever grounds, they are disposed to view all he says and
does with different eyes, and to draw from it different conclusions
from those which would otherwise have been produced, and I suspect dear
Robert has suffered unjustly in this way. However, he will, I doubt
not, live through it, and so long as all is really right, I care less
for such temporary misconceptions, though, by the way, they may be
very injurious to the temporal interests, and to the acceptance of the
subject of them.
"But now let me state to you my sentiments concerning your principles
and conduct as to society, and first I must say that if I were in your
case I should be very slow in forming new acquaintances. Having already
such good companions in Robert, Sir G. Prevost, and I hope Ryder, it
would surely be wise to be satisfied with them at the first, unless
there were any in whose instance I was sure I was on safe and good
ground. But now to your question itself. There are two points of view
in which this subject of good associates must naturally be regarded.
The one in that which is the ordinary object of social intercourse,
that I mean of recreation: for it certainly is one of the very best
recreations, and may be rendered indeed not merely such, but conducive
to higher and better ends. On this first head, however, I trust I
need say nothing in your case, I will therefore pass it by for the
present. It would, I am persuaded, be no recreation to you to be in a
party which should be disgraced by obscenity or profaneness. But the
second view is that which most belongs to our present inquiry--that,
I mean, of the society in which it may appear necessary to take a
share on grounds of conformity (where there is nothing wrong) to the
ordinary customs of life, and even on the principle of 'providing
things honest in the sight of all men' (honest in the Greek is δικαιος)
and not suffering your good to be evil spoken of. Now in considering
this question, I am persuaded I need not begin in my dear Samuel's
instance with arguing for, but may assume the principle that
there are no indifferent actions properly speaking, I should rather
say none with which religion has nothing to do. This however is the
commonly received doctrine of those who consider themselves as very
good Christians. Just as in Law it is an axiom, 'De minimis non curat
lex.' On the contrary, a true Christian holds, in obedience to the
injunction, 'Whatever you do in word or deed' that the desire to please
his God and Saviour must be universal. It is thus that the habit of
living in Christ, and to Christ is to be formed. And the difference
between real and nominal Christians is more manifest on small occasions
than on greater. In the latter all who do not disclaim the authority
of Christ's commands must obey them, but in the former only they will
apply them who do make religion their grand business, and pleasing
their God and Saviour, and pleasing, instead of grieving the Spirit,
their continual and habitual aim. We are therefore to decide the
question of the company you should keep on Scriptural principles, and
the principle I lately quoted 'Provide things honest,' &c. (There
are several others of a like import, and I think they are not always
sufficiently borne in mind by really good people, this of course
forbids all needless singularities, &c.) That principle must doubtless
be kept in view. But again, _you_ will not require me to prove that
it can only have any jurisdiction where there is nothing wrong to be
participated in or encouraged. And therefore I am sure you will not
deny that you ought not to make a part of any society in which you
will be hearing what is indecent or profane. I hope that there are
not many of the Oriel undergraduates from whom you would be likely to
hear obscenity or profaneness, and I trust that you will not knowingly
visit any such. As to the wine parties, if I have a correct idea of
them they are the young men going after dinner to each other's rooms
to drink their wine, eat their fruit, &c.; and with the qualification
above specified, I see no reason for your absenting yourself from them,
if your so doing would fairly subject you to the charge of moroseness
or any other evil imputation. I understand there is no excess, and that
you separate after a short time. Its being more _agreeable_ to you to
stay away I should not deem a legitimate motive if alone. But in all
these questions the _practical_ question often is, how the expenditure
of any given amount of time and money (for the former I estimate full
as highly as the latter) can be made productive of the best effect.
There is one particular member of your college with whom I hope you
will form no acquaintance. Would it make it more easy for you to avoid
this, if you were able to allege that I had exacted from you a promise
to that effect? It was not from Robert, but from another person, that I
heard of him a particular instance of misconduct, which I believe even
in the more relaxed discipline of Cambridge would have drawn on the
offender exemplary punishment. Such a man must, I am sure, be a very
dangerous companion. If it be necessary for you to know him, of course
you will treat him like a gentleman; but further than this I hope you
will not go. From what Robert said to me I have a notion that there is
a very foolish practice, to call it by the softest name, of spending
considerable sums in the fruit and wine of these wine drinkings, where
I understood that there was no excess, every man also being allowed
to please himself as to the wine he drinks. But for a young man, the
son perhaps of a clergyman who is straining to the utmost to maintain
him at college, stinting himself, his wife and daughters in comforts
necessary to their health, for such a young man to be giving claret
and buying expensive fruit for his young companions is absolutely
criminal. And what is more, I will say that young men are much altered
if any youth of spirit who should frankly declare, 'My father cannot
afford such expensive indulgences, and I will not deprive him or my
brothers and sisters for my own gratification,' would not be respected
for his manliness and right feeling. Your situation is different,
though, by the way, your father has left off giving claret except
in some very special cases, and has entirely left off several other
expensive articles, which are still exhibited by others of his rank.
But then I know this will not commonly be imputed to improper parsimony
in me. And if you or any other Oxonian could lighten the pressure on
young men going to college, you would be rendering a highly valuable
service to the community, besides the too little considered obligation
of limiting our own expenditure for our own indulgence as much as we
can, consistently with 'good report,' and with not suffering our good
to be evil spoken of. I say this deliberately, that it is a duty not
sufficiently borne in mind even by real Christians, when we read the
_strong_ passage in the 15th of Deuteronomy, and still more when we
remember our Saviour's language in the 25th of St. Matthew, we shall
see reason to be astonished that the _generality_ of those who do
fear God, and mean in the main to please Him, can give away so small
a proportion of their fortunes, and so little appear sensible of the
obligation under which they lie to economise as much as they can for
the purpose of having the funds for giving away within their power. We
serve a kind Master, who will even accept the will for the deed when
the deed was not in our power. But this will not be held to be the case
when we can gratify all the cravings of fashion and self-indulgence,
or even thoughtlessness or caprice. What pleasure will a true Christian
sometimes feel in sparing himself some article which he would be glad
to possess, and putting the price instead into his charity purse,
looking up to his Saviour and in heart offering it up to His use. Oh,
my very dear Samuel, be not satisfied with the name of Christian.
But strive to be a Christian 'in life and in power and in the Holy
Ghost.' I think a solitary walk or ride now and then would afford an
excellent opportunity for cultivating _spirituality of mind_, the grand
characteristic of the thriving Christian.