Remarks on Carving, &c.
I do not think it necessary to say much on the subject of carving, as
those who are accustomed to sit at a well ordered table, and who observe
the manner of the host and hostess, can soon acquire the art, both of
carving and helping with ease. And when placed at the head of their own
table, the knowledge thus gained will be found a great assistance.
The proper time for children to acquire good habits at meals, is not
when there is company; it should be an every day lesson. As when parents
are engaged with their friends or guests, they have no time to devote to
the manners of their children, and to reprove them at table is very
unpleasant, as well as mortifying.
Young children will soon acquire the manner of sitting quietly till they
are helped, if they are made to understand that they will not be
permitted to eat with their parents and friends, unless they behave with
propriety.
I have thought it a great assistance to the good order of a large
family, for every member to be punctual in their attendance at meals,
and all to sit down together, with a short pause before the carving and
helping commences. In those moments of quiet, the heart is sometimes
awakened to a feeling of gratitude to the Almighty dispenser of our
blessings.
At the table, different members of the family meet; and where affection
and kindness, those aids to true politeness, preside, it is truly a
delightful treat to be the guest of such a family.
Every symptom of selfishness should be discouraged, for if suffered to
take root in a child, it lays the foundation of much that is
disagreeable to themselves and others.
Inculcate this excellent rule, "of doing unto others, what you wish
others to do unto you," and always preferring others to yourself.
It is the custom in some well regulated families, to permit the younger
members, (as they arrive at a suitable age,) to take turns in presiding,
not only at breakfast and tea, but at the dinner table. I have known
quite young girls that had been taught in this way, carve a fowl or
joint of meat with ease and grace. In helping, they should be taught not
to over-load the plate, as it takes away the appetite of some persons to
be helped too largely.
The gravy should be stirred so that all may be helped alike, and a small
quantity put on the meat or fowl, to which it belongs, and not on
vegetables unless it is particularly desired.
If there should be a rare dish on the table, it is best to hand it round
and let every one help himself, after it has been nicely cut up. Ham is
much nicer to be cut in very thin slices. So is salt beef and tongue.
Young housekeepers in selecting their dishes for dinner, (if they have
not an experienced cook,) should avoid those that are difficult to
prepare. Never try a new dish when you expect company. Your guests
will be more gratified with a neat and moderate table, with a few
plain and well cooked dishes, accompanied with the smiling countenance
of the hostess, than with a great variety of ill cooked and badly
arranged viands.
Economy the Source of Charity.
If your circumstances will not admit of giving away much, you can, by
economy, give a little, and a blessing will attend it. There are few of
the very poor, that know how to repair old clothing to advantage; a
garment will be of much more service, that is well mended before it is
given to them.
It has been remarked, that the poor are ungrateful, and forget the
favors conferred upon them.
I have seldom found them deficient in this respect; and when they are,
if we would reflect, that if some of us received no more than we
deserve, we should be but poorly off.
We know in our own families, how acceptable is a nice present of
something that a sick member can eat; and it is sometimes the means of
restoring the appetite, when any thing cooked in the house is rejected.
The feeling of love with which it is presented, is as a cordial to a
sick person.
How much more acceptable will something nourishing be to one oppressed
with poverty, as well as sickness.
When the rich are diseased, the physician often finds it necessary to
enjoin strict abstinence; but very different is it with the poor, who
frequently suffer for want of nourishment.
When the mother of a poor family is ill, how greatly are her sufferings
augmented by the knowledge that her children are deprived of her
services; and how acceptable to such a family would be a loaf of bread,
or a large bowl of soup, which could be made of materials that would
hardly be missed.
Dried beans or peas, and onions, are a cheap and valuable addition to
soup; also cold vegetables. The liquor that fresh meat is boiled in,
should be carefully saved for that purpose, if there are those near you
that need it.
It may seem at first troublesome to a young housekeeper, to take the
necessary care to save for the poor. It is certainly much easier to let
the cook have her own way, and waste or not, as she pleases; but for
your encouragement my young friends, permit me to say, you will be
sweetly rewarded for your attention to them.
One eminent for his charities, near the close of life, made this remark:
"What I spent I lost, but what I gave away remains with me."
To Encourage Children in Acts of Kindness to the Aged and Afflicted.
Young children may early be taught to administer to the wants of the
aged and infirm.
Some mothers are in the practice of giving a small sum of money to their
children, as a reward for some little service or piece of work that they
have done. The money thus obtained, to be laid out for a sick or old
poor person. This method has an excellent effect on the minds of
children; it incites them to industry, teaches self-denial, and the
feelings of love and charity which are thus early instilled into their
tender minds, make a lasting impression.
If they spent their little fund in trifles for their own use, they would
acquire a habit of selfishness; which, when once formed, it is most
difficult to eradicate. I have remarked the pleasure with which children
will relate the incidents of a visit, which they have been permitted to
make to a poor family; and it is a refreshment to persons advanced in
life, to see a young family thus trained.
As soon as little girls can sew, they should be encouraged to make
garments for the poor, or repair their own old ones as a present to a
child of their own size, or make patchwork out of old dresses for a bed
covering for poor people. Their being permitted to do these things,
should be as a reward for good behavior and attention to their lessons
or other duties.
When they are old enough to make a loaf of bread, a pie, or a little
plain cake, allow them to do it, and take as a present to, or make broth
or panada for a sick person. This teaches them to prepare these things
while young, and may be useful to them in after life.
How cheering it must be to the aged or afflicted, to see smiling young
faces enter their dwellings, bearing their little offerings of food or
clothing, the work of their own hands.
Be encouraged my dear young mothers; if you thus train your children to
works of charity, you will be doubly blessed.
Early Rising Promotes Punctuality.
It is an old and true saying, "that if you waste an hour in the morning,
it is seldom recovered all that day." This dispirits you, and the next
day there is still something left undone.
A late riser is rarely punctual in her engagements, and more of the
happiness of married life depends on forming a habit of strict
punctuality, than young persons are generally aware of.
If you are distressed at having acquired habits of late rising, and
want of punctuality, remember by perseverance, they can be overcome.
Fix an hour for rising, and let nothing but illness prevent your being
up at that time. While forming this useful habit, you should retire to
rest early.
Many things can be better attended to at an early, than a late hour in
the morning.
Where families rise before the sun, the day seems much longer; all the
active employments of the early riser are accomplished before her later
neighbors have finished their breakfast.
The duties of the bath and toilet being performed, her chamber well
aired and arranged--and her parlor in order, she is ready for the more
quiet employments of reading and sewing.
In a well regulated household, servants perform their duties with life
and energy. Determine on an hour for your meals, and if all the members
of the family adhere to it, scrupulous exactness will soon be
established.
Hints to Young Wives.
The authoress is well aware of the difficulties which surround a young
wife on her first setting out, particularly if situated at a distance
from the kind mother who has hitherto directed her, with servants who
watch every movement, and who will soon discover whether the new
mistress is qualified for the task she has undertaken.
Accustom yourself to rise early; fix a certain hour, and let nothing but
indisposition prevent your being up at the appointed time. By this means
your affairs will all be arranged in good season, and you will have time
for recreation, in walking, riding, or in reading such authors as will
tend to strengthen and improve your mind.
Young persons removed from large families often suffer greatly from
loneliness, whereas, if they were occupied with household affairs, they
would not feel so severely the absence of their husbands while attending
to business.
Be punctual to the hour that has been fixed on for your meals, and let
good order prevail in every department of which you have the command. A
mistress of a family is much happier, who knows how every thing is going
on from the garret to the cellar. By inspecting every thing you soon
become interested, and we all know when that is the case, the most
difficult pursuits become easy and pleasant.
And with what pleasure will a young wife welcome her husband to his
meals, when her conscience assures her that she has done her best, and
that nothing is neglected; and how will it lighten his labors to
reflect, when absent, that the partner he has chosen, is performing her
duty at home.
I am fully persuaded that the formation of domestic happiness, is
generally laid the first year of marriage: therefore, my young friends,
act well your part; if you desire to be treated with confidence you must
merit it. If you keep an exact account of all your expenses, there will
be less danger of living beyond your income, of which there have been so
many lamentable instances.
Never buy any thing because it is recommended as being cheap; many cheap
things amount in time to a large sum. In selecting furniture, let
utility, not fashion, govern your choice; some young persons furnish
their parlors so extravagantly, that necessary and useful articles are
neglected, for want of means to purchase them. Be persuaded that
happiness does not consist so much in having splendid furniture, as in
attending to the every day comforts of those around you. If you marry
without the useful knowledge necessary for governing your family, lose
no time in acquiring it.
There is a time when most young girls show a fondness for domestic
affairs before they are old enough to go into company, when it would be
an agreeable change to be absent from school and assisting their
mothers; the knowledge thus acquired would never be lost.
Many a young man who commenced with fair prospects, has been ruined
through his wife's ignorance of domestic duties, and she has suffered
from the consequent diminution of his esteem and love.
I once knew a lovely and accomplished young lady, accustomed to every
indulgence, who, on her marriage, removed several hundred miles from her
parents, to reside in the country, where servants were difficult to
procure. This delicate and sensitive young creature was much distressed
by her ignorance of almost every thing connected with housekeeping; and
after suffering repeated mortifications, concluded to learn to do the
work herself; and when this dearly bought knowledge was acquired, she
was able to teach her ignorant servants; and resolved, if ever she had
daughters, to use every means in her power to teach them.
When a prudent wife is made acquainted with the circumstances of her
husband, she will endeavor strictly to keep within their bounds; always
remembering that losses and events, over which he has no control, may
occur and greatly reduce his income. And how will it assist her to bear
a reverse of fortune, if she has acted with discretion; it will
strengthen the wife to encourage and cheer her partner, and enable him
to struggle through difficulties which were thought insurmountable.
Happiness will not forsake such a family though they lose almost every
thing, the peace which is the result of a good conscience will remain;
this will strengthen them to begin anew, and the Divine blessing will
attend such efforts.
A few Remarks to Encourage Young Housekeepers in their First Attempts.
As bread is the most important article of food, one of your first
attempts should be to make a few loaves of good bread and rolls, of the
most simple kind. Bread rolls are very easily made. If you succeed
tolerably, it will encourage you to try again. When you make cakes,
begin with the simple kinds; plain jumbles or cakes that you can roll
out, or crisp ginger-bread. Sponge cake is easier than those that have
butter in them; I have known young persons succeed very well with it.
Bread rusk is also easily made, or a few plain pies. Do not trust the
baking to an ignorant person, but superintend it yourself. Sometimes
baking in a stove, is protracted by the dampness of the wood. Before you
bake, have dry wood prepared. Watch the time; it is a good plan to have
a clock near the kitchen. Do not have too many things on hand at once;
but perfect yourself in the knowledge of a few important dishes. If you
make good yeast you will be more certain of good bread, light cakes and
rolls. To cook a steak nicely, is also important; and with a dish of
potatoes well cooked, a dish of cold slaw and an apple pie, or a little
stewed fruit, will make a good plain dinner.
When your family is small, you can have something nice every day,
without cooking much. Veal cutlets, and mutton chops, are easy to cook,
and may be prepared in a short time. If you have a fowl, and boil it,
you can save the soup, and warm it over for the next day. A cold roast
fowl may be hashed. On days that you have cold meat, a batter pudding,
or plain rice pudding, is easily prepared.
If you wish to have an early breakfast, make every preparation that you
can, over night; set the table, have the relish cut, ready to cook, or
to warm over--and cold bread may be sliced, and wrapped in a cloth to
keep it moist. Coffee should be ground, and dry fuel, and water at hand.
With these preparations, breakfast may be ready in half an hour from the
time the fire is made. If you have warm corn bread, or rolls, it will
require more time; but if you have them made up over night, and put in a
cool place, they will not sour, and can soon be baked. Maryland biscuit
are very convenient, as they are always ready, and will keep good a
week. I have found it a great advantage to set the table over night,
particularly if you have a separate room to eat in; although it takes
but a short time, every minute is important in the morning.
Where the mistress washes the breakfast things, and puts them in their
proper places, and counts the spoons, and other articles, she can see
when any thing is missing. A mop is useful for glass and china; keep a
pan, or a small tub, for the purpose of holding the water, which should
not be too hot. If tea things are put in very hot water, it will be apt
to crack them or they will look smeared. Put a little soap in the
water, wash the glass first, then the silver, then the cups and
saucers, and lastly, the plates and knives and forks. If spoons have
been used with eggs, put them to soak immediately, to prevent their
turning dark. Have a common waiter for the pan to stand in and on it
drain your tea things. Spoons when used with care, require polishing
but seldom, as it wears the silver away. Dinner dishes should be washed
first in moderately warm water and soap, rinsed in hot water, and
drained before wiping. Put every thing in its proper place, and inspect
your pantry and cellar frequently. Sometimes things are forgotten, for
want of attention, until they are spoiled. Air the cellar frequently;
do not let refuse vegetables accumulate, or any thing that would be
likely to cause sickness.
You should provide coarse towels of different kinds, for china and
glass, and for the dinner dishes, also knife cloths, have them marked
and kept in their proper places. Some persons have their towels washed
out every day, but it is better to save them for the weekly wash. If
towels are thrown aside damp, they are liable to mildew. You should keep
dusters of several kinds. Old silk handkerchiefs, are best for highly
polished furniture, or an old barege veil answers a good purpose. For
common purposes, a square of coarse muslin, or check is suitable. You
should keep one floor cloth for chambers, and one for the kitchen. Keep
brooms for different purposes; always use a soft one for carpets, as
soon as they wear stiff, they will do for the kitchen, or pavements.
Pouring a little hot water on a broom, softens it for carpets. You may
save tea leaves, to sprinkle over your carpet, when you give a thorough
sweeping, this will brighten it, and occasionally to wipe it over, with
a cloth, that has been wrung out of hot water cleanses it, of course,
this is only required for carpets in constant use.
It is of great importance to health, that sleeping apartments should be
well aired and swept. If you sleep in an apartment, where there has been
fire during the day, it should be well aired before going to bed, or if
the room is close, have a little air admitted, so as not to blow on
persons that are asleep. A window that will lower from the top is an
advantage. Beds should be well aired before they are made, take the
clothes off, and leave them at least an hour. In pleasant weather, you
may keep chamber windows hoisted, for several hours, and even in cold
weather, the windows may be kept up a short time, and if on any
occasion, you may be obliged to have the beds made without airing, turn
the clothes half way down, and leave them for several hours. Some
persons have cheap calico covers, to spread over beds, while the room is
swept, this is a good plan, on account of the dust. Bolster and pillow
tucks wear better, if you have a check case basted on, this should be
changed, washed and starched occasionally. It is a good plan also to
have check covers for matresses and feather beds, but the covers should
not be kept on beds that are not in use, lest they should be liable to
moth. In winter a blanket should be put next a bed that is not often
slept in, or for a delicate person, and be particularly careful, that
sheets are dry before they are put away.
In summer it is most healthy to have your chamber floor bare, and have
it washed occasionally. It is important to examine your clothes, after
they come from the wash, and see that they are perfectly dry before they
are put away.