Hints on the Management of Domestics, &c.
Some families are always changing their domestics, and weary their
friends with complaints of those they have, and inquiries for others.
Deliberate before you make a change; if servants are honest, speak the
truth, and have an obliging disposition, it is better to bear with a few
defects, than to discharge them; these are qualifications for the
foundation of a good servant; and some of the most valuable I have had,
were such as could hardly be put up with at first. By being patient, and
speaking to them in a kind manner, they become attached and fearful of
doing any thing to offend.
When they break any thing, or an accident occurs, accustom them to
inform you of it immediately. Few mistresses, of well regulated minds,
will be offended when openly told of accidents; but if they are left to
be found out, you always feel more disposed to blame and reprove them.
By speaking to them in a mild and forgiving manner, careless servants
will become more careful.
A considerate mistress may, without loss of dignity, make them feel that
she regards it as her duty to be their friend, and that she feels
herself under an obligation to advise them in difficulties and promote
their comfort.
We should reflect that theirs is a life of servitude, and if they
over-exert themselves, or are too much exposed in early life, it
will bring on disease that will shorten their days, or render old
age a burden.
Some young persons are too indolent to wait on themselves, and ring for
the servants on the most trifling occasions; when if they were
accustomed to perform these little offices, their health would be much
better, and we should not hear of so many complaints, the result of
want of exercise. All female servants should have time to attend to
their clothing; many have to work so hard through the day that their
only leisure is at night, and then they hurry over their things in a
careless manner.
Where your circumstances permit, a good man-servant is a valuable
acquisition; and they are sometimes more easily governed than females.
If mistresses were better informed, they would not complain so much of
the ignorance and awkwardness of their domestics. Always give them their
orders in time. If a new dish is to be cooked, superintend its
preparation yourself.
If you are capable of directing, a cook will soon learn to do without
your constant attention.
If they are slow in their movements, insist on their beginning early to
prepare a meal, so that there will be time sufficient for every thing to
be done properly.
If you expect company, have every thing prepared, that can be done with
safety, the day previous. In summer there are but few things that can be
done without risk of spoiling: a ham or tongue may he washed ready to
boil; castors and salt-stands put in order, and pastry or dessert
prepared, that will not spoil by being kept a day.
In winter, many things can be kept for days in a state of preparation
for cooking; and it greatly assists the work of the family, to have
every thing done beforehand.
Do with as few domestics as possible; assist with the work yourself,
rather than keep one too many. Those that take orphan children to bring
up, are often rewarded for their trouble; as sometimes a girl of fifteen
will be more useful than one much older: and where a family is small it
does very well, but in large families, a little girl is so often called
from her work, that it has a tendency to unsettle and make her careless.
Never allow your children to call on or interrupt servants when at their
work or meals, to do any thing which a child could do for itself;
children that treat domestics with respect, will generally find them
willing to render any assistance in their power. I have known a few
housekeepers, who have kept the same servants for years, who have
assisted in rearing the children, until they almost viewed them as their
own, and these were not faultless. If they had been discharged for
trifles, they might have wandered, from one family to another, without
being attached to any, until they became so indifferent, as not to be
worthy of employ, but by the kindness and patience of their employer,
they became so grateful and attached, as to be a treasure to her family.
When they become weary of such constant servitude, would it not be
better, instead of discharging, to give them time for rest and
recreation in visiting their friends? I have known them to return,
renewed in health and spirits.
Encourage them to lay by as much of their wages as they can possibly
spare, in such institutions as are thought the most safe, that they may
have something to look to in case of sickness, or any event which would
require its use.
Promote their reading in such books as are suited to their capacities;
they sometimes have a little leisure, that could be well filled up in
this way. I have found it to increase the happiness of those under my
care, to encourage a fondness for reading, and improving their minds; it
tends to keep them from unprofitable company, and too much visiting, to
which so many are addicted.
Young girls should make and mend their own clothes, and keep them in
good order, and they should be taught to knit. The material of which
stockings are composed costs but little, and they wear much better than
those that are bought. Knitting fills up leisure moments, and promotes
industrious habits; and when age comes on, they will have a resource,
although it appears so simple, yet if it is not learned while young it
is hard to acquire when old.
When servants are guilty of faults that cannot be looked over, instead
of publicly reproving them, take an opportunity when alone, and talk
coolly; tell them of your sorrow at being obliged to notice their
conduct, encourage them to pursue a different course, and that you will
forgive them if they will strive to do better. I have known them much
improved by this mode of treatment.
By inspecting every department, not only will waste be prevented, but
dishonesty. In cities many persons find it necessary to lock up nearly
every thing; and it is a lamentable state of things that so few are to
be trusted.
Sometimes treating servants with confidence will have a good effect;
but let them be aware that you have a knowledge of every thing that
is going on.
Some young persons are completely at the mercy of their domestics. I
have known great uneasiness to be experienced, and much loss; but by
showing a little moral courage, and discharging those that are
irreclaimable, an ascendancy was gained. Never suffer them to treat you
with disrespect or impertinence. If it is known that they will be
discharged for these faults, they will be on their guard.
If you have taken a boy or girl, to bring up as a domestic, endeavour to
teach them, at least to spell and read; they are sometimes very fond of
their books, and if you once get them to reading, it will become to them
a favorite evening amusement; I have known them take up their books on
every occasion of leisure, I have seen boys that worked hard through the
day, spend all the evening with their books, slate, and occasionally a
little writing. Sometimes, I have in the evening felt fatigued and
listless, and would much rather read, and amuse myself, than go out to
teach two or three in the kitchen; but in attending to this, (which I
consider a duty,) have felt a sweet reward--indeed, their grateful
thanks expressed by words, have encouraged me to keep on. I have thought
a little instruction in this way, arouses their faculties, and tends to
make them more industrious. When I have been prevented from teaching
them for some time, by indisposition, or other causes, I have observed
they were not so cheerful in the performance of their work. If they are
reading any thing they do not fully understand, take a little time to
explain it to them. It will be, my young friends, like sowing the good
seed, and you, as well as they, will receive the reward.
I wish to encourage you in the most affectionate manner to attend to
_this_ duty; you will find it will strengthen you in the performance of
others. "The more we exert our faculties, the more we can accomplish.
He that does nothing, renders himself incapable of doing any thing.
While we are executing one work, we are preparing ourselves to
undertake another."