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"SOCIETY" NEWS.
The S.P.C.L.A. (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Labour
Agitators) has mooted a novel and, we consider, very far-seeing scheme.
It is recognised now that a time must come when no State will be able to
ship its undesirables to another country, for the simple reason that the
available dumping grounds will gradually be exhausted or refuse to be
dumping grounds any longer. That is where the S.P.C.L.A. comes in with
its proposal, which is to charter or, if necessary, build a 50,000 ton
liner as an ocean hotel for the unfortunate exiles. This leviathan will
be coaled by lighters outside the three-miles limit and will ride the
high seas for ever and a day. In the event of internal disturbances (in
the hotel itself) another maritime hostelry will be chartered,
until--who knows--someday we may witness the almost unthinkable anomaly
of a Labour Fleet.
The kindly action of the N.L.E.S.R.O. (Navvies' League for the
Encouragement of Spectators at Roadmending Operations) in providing deck
chairs upon the pavement at a penny an hour is universally appreciated,
and it is now no uncommon thing to see a navvy taking a holiday and
egging on his sturdy comrades to greater efforts from a seat marked
"Deadhead."
The S.P.S.K.K. (Society for the Promotion of Steam-heating in Kaffir
Kraals) displayed a regrettable lack of judgment in choosing Christmas
Day for the laying of its foundation pipe, Christmas being the South
African midsummer.
The D.M.S.P.T.O.H. (Dyspeptic Millionaires' Society for the Promotion of
Their Own Happiness) is in urgent need of funds.
At the unveiling of the statue to its founder by the S.I.D.R.I. (Society
for Insisting on the Divine Right of Iconoclasts) it is understood that
several conversions were effected through the conduct of a band of
youthful enthusiasts who, faithful to their principles and unable to
restrain their zeal for the cause, rushed at the newly-revealed
masterpiece and smashed it to atoms.
The S.F.S. (Society for the Formation of Societies) and the S.F.S.F.S.
(Society for the Formation of Societies for the Formation of Societies)
are both doing splendid work.
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Illustration: _Petty Officer of Patrol._ "HELLO, YOU. WHAT'S YOUR
SHIP?"
_Sailor (returning from revelry)._ "'OW LONG 'AVE YOU BEEN BLIND? IT'S
WROTE PLAIN ENOUGH ON MY CAP, AIN'T IT?"
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