* * * * *
[Illustration: _Shortsighted Traveller_. "IS THERE SOME DELAY ON THE
LINE, MY GOOD MAN?"
_Naval Officer_. "WHO THE ---- DO YOU THINK I AM, SIR?"
_Traveller_. "ER--N-NOT THE VICAR, ANYWAY."]
* * * * *
"HOMES FURNISHED COMPLETE."
"Oak bedstead, 3 ft. 6 in., with wife and Wool Mattress, new
condition, £5 10s. 0d. lot."--_Provincial Paper_,
"One Parsel Furnishing goods curtains, cushion covers, etc.,
Rs. 26; one bundle babies, Rs. 5.--Apply Mrs. ----."--_Ceylon
Independent_.
* * * * *
"Temporary Cook wants Hampshire."--_Morning Post_.
Really quite moderate. Some cooks nowadays seem to want the whole
earth.
* * * * *
[Illustration: POST-WAR PROBLEMS.
_Adjutant_ (_who has been interrupted in his real work by a summons
from Colonel_). "YES, SIR?"
_Temporary Colonel_. "I SAY--ER--SMITH--IT'S SO UNCERTAIN HOW LONG
WE SHALL BE OUT HERE--DEMOBILISATION, YOU KNOW. ER--FACT IS--_DO_ YOU
THINK IT WORTH MY WHILE GETTING ANOTHER PAIR OF BREECHES?"]
* * * * *