courted her attention, and every species of dissipating amusement,
sanctioned by the name of pleasure, beguiled the hours and charmed the
imagination of the noviciate. Each enchanting scene she painted to
herself in the brightest colours; and her experienced heart promised her
happiness without allay. Flattery gave her a thousand charms which she
was hitherto unconscious of possessing, and the obsequiousness of the
gaudy train around raised her vanity to the highest pitch of arrogance
and pride. Behold Flavia, now, launched into the whirlpool of
fashionable folly. Balls, plays, cards, and parties engross every
portion of her time.
“Her father saw, too late, the imprudence of his unbounded indulgence;
and his egregious mistake, in so immediately reversing her mode of life,
without first furnishing her mind with sufficient knowledge and strength
to repel temptation. He endeavored to regulate and restrain her conduct;
but in vain. She complained of this, as an abridgment of her liberty,
and took advantage of his doating fondness to practise every excess.
Involved in expenses (of which losses at play composed a considerable
part) beyond her power to defray, in this embarrassing dilemma, she was
reduced to the necessity of accepting the treacherous offer of Marius to
advance money for the support of her extravagance. Obligated by his
apparent kindness, she could not refuse the continuance of his
acquaintance, till his delusive arts had obtained the reward he proposed
to himself, in the sacrifice of her honor. At length she awoke to a
trembling sense of her guilt, and found it fatal to her peace,
reputation, and happiness.
“Wretched Flavia! no art could conceal thy shame! The grief of her mind,
her retirement from company, and the alteration in her appearance,
betrayed her to her father’s observation. Highly incensed at the
ingratitude and baseness of her conduct, he refused to forgive her; but
sent her from the ensnaring pleasures of the town, to languish out the
remainder of life in solitude and obscurity.”
_Friday, A. M._
FILIAL AND FRATERNAL AFFECTION.
“The filial and fraternal are the first duties of a single state. The
obligations you are under to your parents cannot be discharged, but by a
uniform and cheerful obedience; an unreserved and ready compliance with
their wishes, added to the most diligent attention to their ease and
happiness. The virtuous and affectionate behaviour of children is the
best compensation, in their power, for that unwearied care and
solicitude which parents, only, know. Upon daughters, whose situation
and employments lead them more frequently into scenes of domestic
tenderness; who are often called to smooth the pillow of sick and aged
parents, and to administer with a skilful and delicate hand the cordial,
restorative to decaying nature, and endearing sensibility, and a dutiful
acquiescence in the dispositions, and even peculiarities of those from
whom they have derived existence, are indispensably incumbent.
“Such a conduct will yield a satisfaction of mind more than equivalent
to any little sacrifices of inclination or humour which may be required
at your hands.
“Pope, among all his admired poetry, has not six lines more beautifully
expressive than the following:
“Me, let the pious office long engage,
To rock the cradle of declining age;
With lenient arts extend a mother’s breath,
Make languor smile, and smooth the bed of death;
Explore the thought, explain the asking eye,
And keep awhile one parent from the sky!”
“Next in rank and importance to filial piety, is fraternal love. This is
a natural affection which you cannot too assiduously cultivate. How
delightful to see children of the same family dwell together in unity;
promoting each other’s welfare, and emulous only to excel in acts of
kindness and good will. Between brothers and sisters the connexion is
equally intimate and endearing. There is such a union of interests, and
such an undivided participation of enjoyments, that every sensible and
feeling mind must value the blessings of family friendship and peace.
“Strive, therefore, my dear pupils, to promote them, as objects which
deserve your particular attention; as attainments which will not fail
richly to reward your labour.
“Prudelia, beside other amiable endowments of person and mind, possessed
the most lively sensibility, and ardent affections.
“The recommendations of her parents, united to her own wishes, had
induced her to give her hand to Clodius, a gentleman of distinguished
merit. He was a foreigner; and his business required his return to his
native country.
“Prudelia bid a reluctant adieu to her friends, and embarked with him.
She lived in affluence, and was admired and caressed by all that knew
her, while a lovely family was rising around her. Yet these pleasing
circumstances and prospects could not extinguish or alienate that
affection, which still glowed in her breast for the natural guardians
and companions of her childhood and youth.
“With the deepest affliction she heard the news of her father’s death,
and the embarrassed situation in which he had left his affairs. She was
impatient to console her widowed mother, and to minister to her
necessities. For these purposes, she prevailed on her husband to consent
that she should visit her, though it was impossible for him to attend
her. With all the transport of dutiful zeal, she flew to the arms of her
bereaved parent. But how great was her astonishment and grief, when told
that her only sister had been deluded by an affluent villain, and by his
insidious arts, seduced from her duty, her honor, and her home! The
emotions of pity, indignation, regret, and affection, overwhelmed her,
at first; but recollecting herself, and exerting all her fortitude, she
nobly resolved, if possible, to snatch the guilty, yet beloved Myra,
from ruin, rather than revenge her injured family by abandoning her to
the infamy she deserved. To this intent she wrote her a pathetic letter,
lamenting her elopement, but entreating her, notwithstanding, to return
and receive her fraternal embrace. But Myra, conscious of her crime, and
unworthiness of her sister’s condescension and kindness, and above all,
dreading the superiority of her virtue, refused the generous invitation.
Prudelia was not thus to be vanquished in her benevolent undertaking.
She even followed her to her lodgings, and insisted on an interview.
Here she painted, in the most lively colours, the heinousness of her
offence, and the ignominy and wretchedness that awaited her. Her
affection allured, her reasoning convinced her backsliding sister. Upon
the promise of forgiveness from her mother, Myra consented to leave her
infamous paramour, and re-trace the paths of rectitude and virtue.
“Her seducer was absent on a journey. She, therefore, wrote him a
farewell letter, couched in terms of sincere penitence for her
transgression, and determined resolution of amendment in future, and
left the house. Thus restored and reconciled to her friends, Myra
appeared in quite another character.
“Prudelia tarried with her mother till she had adjusted her affairs, and
seen her comfortably settled and provided for. Then taking her reclaimed
sister with her, she returned to her anxiously expecting family. The
uprightness and modesty of Myra’s conduct, ever after, rendered her
universally esteemed, though the painful consciousness of her defection
was never extinguished in her own bosom.
“A constant sense of her past misconduct depressed her spirits, and cast
a gloom over her mind; yet she was virtuous, though pensive, during the
remainder of her life.
“With this, and other salutary effects in view, how necessary, how
important are filial and fraternal affection!”
_Friday, P. M._
FRIENDSHIP.
“Friendship is a term much insisted on by young people; but, like many
others more frequently used than understood. A friend, with girls in
general, is an intimate acquaintance, whose taste and pleasures are
similar to their own; who will encourage, or at least connive at their
foibles and faults, and communicate with them every secret; in
particular those of love and gallantry, in which those of the other sex
are concerned. By such friends their errors and stratagems are flattered
and concealed, while the prudent advice of real friendship is neglected,
till they find too late, how fictitious a character, and how vain a
dependence they have chosen.
“Augusta and Serena were educated at the same school, resided in the
same neighborhood, and were equally volatile in their tempers, and
dissipated in their manners. Hence every plan of amusement was concerted
and enjoyed together. At the play, the ball, the card-table and every
other party of pleasure, they were companions.
“Their parents saw that this intimacy strengthened the follies of each;
and strove to disengage their affections, that they might turn their
attention to more rational entertainments, and more judicious advisers.
But they gloried in their friendship, and thought it a substitute for
every other virtue. They were the dupes of adulation, and the votaries
of coquetry.
“The attentions of a libertine, instead of putting them on their guard
against encroachments, induced them to triumph in their fancied
conquests, and to boast of resolution sufficient to shield them from
delusion.
“Love, however, which with such dispositions, is the pretty play-thing
of imagination, assailed the tender heart of Serena. A gay youth, with
more wit than sense, more show than substance, more art than honesty,
took advantage of her weakness to ingratiate himself into her favour,
and persuade her they could not live without each other. Augusta was the
confident of Serena. She fanned the flame, and encouraged her resolution
of promoting her own felicity, though at the expense of every other
duty. Her parents suspected her amour, remonstrated against the man, and
forbade her forming any connexion with him, on pain of their
displeasure. She apparently acquiesced; but flew to Augusta for counsel
and relief. Augusta soothed her anxiety, and promised to assist her in
the accomplishment of all her wishes. She accordingly contrived means
for a clandestine intercourse, both personal and epistolary.
“Aristus was a foreigner, and avowed his purpose of returning to his
native country, urging her to accompany him. Serena had a fortune,
independent of her parents, left her by a deceased relation. This, with
her hand, she consented to give to her lover, and to quit a country, in
which she acknowledged but one friend. Augusta praised her fortitude,
and favored her design. She accordingly eloped, and embarked. Her
parents were almost distracted by her imprudent and undutiful conduct,
and their resentment fell on Augusta, who had acted contrary to all the
dictates of integrity and friendship, in contributing to her ruin; for
ruin it proved. Her ungrateful paramour, having rioted on the property
which she bestowed, abandoned her to want and despair. She wrote to her
parents, but received no answer. She represented her case to Augusta,
and implored relief from her friendship; but Augusta alleged that she
had already incurred the displeasure of her family on her account and
chose not again to subject herself to censure by the same means.
“Serena at length returned to her native shore, and applied in person to
Augusta, who coolly told her that she wished no intercourse with a
vagabond, and then retired. Her parents refused to receive her into
their house; but from motives of compassion and charity, granted her a
small annuity, barely sufficient to keep her and her infant from want.
“Too late she discovered her mistaken notions of friendship; and learned
by sad experience, that virtue must be its foundation, or sincerity and
constancy can never be its reward.
“Sincerity and constancy are essential ingredients in virtuous
friendship. It invariably seeks the permanent good of its object; and in
so doing, will advise, caution and reprove, with all the frankness of
undissembled affection. In the interchange of genuine friendship,
flattery is utterly excluded. Yet, even in the most intimate connexions
of this kind, a proper degree of respect, attention and politeness must
be observed. You are not so far to presume on the partiality of
friendship, as to hazard giving offence, and wounding the feelings of
persons, merely because you think their regard for you will plead your
excuse, and procure your pardon. Equally cautious should you be, of
taking umbrage at circumstances which are undesignedly offensive.
“Hear the excellent advice of the wise son of Sirach, upon this subject:
“Admonish thy friend; it may be he hath not done it; and if he have done
it, that he do it no more. Admonish thy friend; it may be he hath not
said it; and if he have, that he speak it not again. Admonish thy
friend; for many times it is a slander; and believe not every tale.
There is one that slippeth in his speech, but not from his heart; and
who is he that offendeth not with his tongue?”
“Be not hasty in forming friendships; but deliberately examine the
principles, disposition, temper and manners, of the person you wish to
sustain this important character. Be well assured that they are
agreeable to your own, and such as merit your entire esteem and
confidence, before you denominate her your friend. You may have many
general acquaintances, with whom you are pleased and entertained; but in
the chain of friendship there is a still closer link.
“Reserve will wound it, and distrust destroy,
Deliberate on all things with thy friend:
But since friends grow not thick on every bough
Nor ev’ry friend unrotten at the core,
First on thy friend, deliberate with thyself:
Pause, ponder, first: not eager in the choice,
Nor jealous of the chosen: fixen, fix:
Judge before friendship: then confide till death.”
“But if you would have friends, you must show yourselves friendly; that
is, you must be careful to act the part you wish from another. If your
friend have faults, mildly and tenderly represent them to her; but
conceal them as much as possible from the observation of the world.
Endeavor to convince her of her errors, to rectify her mistakes, and to
confirm and increase every virtuous sentiment.
“Should she so far deviate, as to endanger her reputation and happiness;
and should your admonitions fail to reclaim her, become not, like
Augusta, an abettor of her crimes. It is not the part of friendship to
hide transactions which will end in the ruin of your friend. Rather
acquaint those who ought to have the rule over her of her intended
missteps, and you will have discharged your duty; you will merit, and
very probably may afterwards receive her thanks.
“Narcissa and Florinda were united in the bonds of true and generous
friendship. Narcissa was called to spend a few months with a relation in
the metropolis, where she became acquainted with, and attached to a man
who was much her inferior; but whose specious manners and appearance
deceived her youthful heart, though her reason and judgment informed
her, that her parents would disapprove the connexion. She returned home,
the consciousness of her fault, the frankness which she owed to her
friend, and her partiality to her lover, wrought powerfully upon her
mind, and rendered her melancholy. Florinda soon explored the cause, and
warmly remonstrated against her imprudence in holding a moment’s
intercourse with a man, whom she knew, would be displeasing to her
parents. She searched out his character, and found it far inadequate to
Narcissa’s merit. This she represented to her in its true colours, and
conjured her not to sacrifice her reputation, her duty and her
happiness, by encouraging his addresses; but to no purpose were her
expostulations. Narcissa avowed the design of permitting him to solicit
the consent of her parents, and the determination of marrying him
without it, if they refused.
“Florinda was alarmed at this resolution; and, with painful anxiety, saw
the danger of her friend. She told her plainly, that the regard she had
for her demanded a counteraction of her design; and that if she found no
other way of preventing its execution, she should discharge her duty by
informing her parents of her proceedings. This Narcissa resented, and
immediately withdrew her confidence and familiarity; but the faithful
Florinda neglected not the watchful solicitude of friendship; and when
she perceived that Narcissa’s family were resolutely opposed to her
projected match and that Narcissa was preparing to put her rash purpose
into execution, she made known the plan which she had concerted and by
that mean prevented her destruction. Narcissa thought herself greatly
injured, and declared that she would never forgive so flagrant a breach
of fidelity. Florinda endeavoured to convince her of her good
intentions, and the real kindness of her motives; but she refused to
hear the voice of wisdom, till a separation from her lover, and a full
proof of his unworthiness opened her eyes to a sight of her own folly
and indiscretion, and to a lively sense of Florinda’s friendship, in
saving her from ruin without her consent. Her heart overflowed with
gratitude to her generous preserver. She acknowledged herself indebted
to Florinda’s benevolence, for deliverance from the baneful impetuosity
of her own passions. She sought and obtained forgiveness; and ever after
lived in the strictest amity with her faithful benefactress.”
_Saturday, A. M._
LOVE.
“The highest state of friendship which this life admits, is in the
conjugal relation. On this refined affection, love, which is but a more
interesting and tender kind of friendship, ought to be founded. The same
virtues, the same dispositions and qualities which are necessary in a
friend, are still more requisite in a companion for life. And when these
enlivening principles are united, they form the basis of durable
happiness. But let not the mask of friendship, or of love, deceive you.
You are now entering upon a new stage of action where you will probably
admire, and be admired. You may attract the notice of many, who will
select you as objects of adulation, to discover their taste and
gallantry; and perhaps of some whose affections you have really and
seriously engaged. The first class your penetration will enable you to
detect; and your good sense and virtue will lead you to treat them with
the neglect they deserve. It is disreputable for a young lady to receive
and encourage the officious attentions of those mere pleasure-hunters,
who rove from fair to fair, with no other design than the exercise of
their art, addresses, and intrigue. Nothing can render their company
pleasing, but a vanity of being caressed, and a false pride in being
thought an object of general admiration, with a fondness for flattery
which bespeaks a vitiated mind. But when you are addressed by a person
of real merit, who is worthy your esteem and may justly demand your
respect, let him be treated with honor, frankness and sincerity. It is
the part of a prude, to affect a shyness, reserve, and indifference,
foreign to the heart. Innocence and virtue will rise superior to such
little arts, and indulge no wish which needs disguise.
“Still more unworthy are the insidious and deluding wiles of the
coquette. How disgusting must this character appear to persons of
sentiment and integrity! how unbecoming the delicacy and dignity of an
uncorrupted female!
“As you are young and inexperienced, your affections may possibly be
involuntarily engaged, where prudence and duty forbid a connexion.
Beware, then how you admit the passion of love. In young minds, it is of
all others the most uncontrollable. When fancy takes the reins, it
compels its blinded votary to sacrifice reason, discretion and
conscience to its impetuous dictates. But a passion of this origin tends
not to substantial and durable happiness. To secure this, it must be
quite of another kind, enkindled by esteem, founded on merit,
strengthened by congenial dispositions and corresponding virtues, and
terminating in the most pure and refined affection.
“Never suffer your eyes to be charmed by the mere exterior; nor delude
yourselves with the notion of unconquerable love. The eye, in this
respect, is often deceptious, and fills the imagination with charms
which have no reality. Nip, in the bud, every particular liking, much
more all ideas of love, till called forth by unequivocal tokens as well
as professions of sincere regard. Even then, harbor them not without a
thorough knowledge of the temper, disposition and circumstances of your
lover, the advice of your friends; and, above all the approbation of
your parents. Maturely weigh every consideration for and against, and
deliberately determine with yourselves, what will be most conducive to
your welfare and fidelity in life. Let a rational and discreet plan of
thinking and acting, regulate your deportment, and render you deserving
of the affection you wish to insure. This you will find far more
conducive to your interest, than the indulgence of that romantic
passion, which a blind and misguided fancy paints in such alluring
colors to the thoughtless and inexperienced.
“Recollect the favourite air you so often sing:
“Ye fair, who would be blessed in love,
Take your pride a little lower:
Let the swain that you approve,
Rather like you than adore.
Love that rises into passion,
Soon will end in hate or strife:
But from tender inclination
Flow the lasting joys of life.”
“I by no means undervalue that love which is the noblest principle of
the human mind; but wish only to guard you against the influence of an
ill-placed and ungovernable passion, which is improperly called by this
name.
“A union, formed without a refined and generous affection for its basis,
must be devoid of those tender endearments, reciprocal attentions, and
engaging sympathies, which are peculiarly necessary to alleviate the
cares, dispel the sorrows, and soften the pains of life. The exercise of
that prudence and caution which I have recommended, will lead you to a
thorough investigation of the character and views of the man by whom you
are addressed.
“Without good principles, both of religion and morality, (for the latter
cannot exist independent of the former) you can not safely rely, either
upon his fidelity or his affection. Good principles are the foundation
of a good life.
“If the fountain be pure, the streams which issue from it will be of the
same description.
“Next to this, an amiable temper is essentially requisite. A proud, a
passionate, a revengeful, a malicious, or a jealous temper, will render
your lives uncomfortable, in spite of all the prudence and fortitude you
can exert.
“Beware, then, lest, before marriage, love blind your eyes to those
defects, to a sight of which, grief and disappointment may awaken you
afterwards. You are to consider marriage as a connexion for life; as the
nearest and dearest of all human relations; as involving in it the
happiness or misery of all your days; and as engaging you in a variety
of cares and duties, hitherto unknown. Act, therefore, with
deliberation, and resolve with caution; but, when once you come to a
choice, behave with undeviating rectitude and sincerity.
“Avarice is not commonly a ruling passion in young persons of _our_ sex.
Yet some there are, sordid enough to consider wealth as the chief good,
and to sacrifice every other object to a splendid appearance. It often
happens, that these are miserably disappointed in their expectations of
happiness. They find, by dear bought experience, that external pomp is
but a wretched substitute for internal satisfaction.
“But I would not have outward circumstances entirely overlooked. A
proper regard should always be had to a comfortable subsistence in life.
Nor can you be justified in suffering a blind passion, under whatever
pretext, to involve you in those embarrassing distresses of want, which
will elude the remedies of love itself, and prove fatal to the peace and
happiness at which you aim.