recommendation. It bespeaks a lightness of mind and a vanity of
disposition, against which a discreet and modest girl should guard with
the utmost vigilance. Extravagance is a great error, even where fortune
will allow the means of supporting it. Many are the claims which the
children of affliction and want have upon the superfluous plenty of the
rich. How much better expended would some part of their redundance be,
in relieving the necessities of such, than in decorating their own
persons, with every ornament which art can contrive to create expense!
“Neatness and propriety should be the main objects; for loveliness needs
no foreign aid to give it a passport. Neatness is too often connected
with the idea of a prudish singularity; but no gaudiness of apparel, no
richness of attire, no modishness of appearance can be an equivalent for
it. Propriety is that garb which becomes our situation and circumstances
in life. There certainly ought to be a difference between different ages
and conditions, in this respect. Many articles, ornamental to Miss in
her teens, would appear absurd, fantastical, and ridiculous in maturer
years. Neither should the matronal robes, and the close cap hide the
natural ringlets, and easy shapes of the blooming girl.
“It is a very false taste which induces people in dependent and narrow
circumstances, to imitate the expensive mode of dress which might be
very decent for those who move in a higher sphere.
“To endeavor to conceal indigence by the affectation of extravagance, is
committing a great offence, both against ourselves, and the community to
which we belong. The means of support should always be attended to. A
conformity to these will render you more respected for prudence, than a
deviation for the sake of show without substance, can make you admired.
“Louisa and Clarinda are striking examples. They were both the daughters
of reputable parents, whose situations in the world were easy and
comfortable, though not affluent. They were able to give their children
a good education, but no other portion. Gay, volatile, and ambitious,
Louisa was the votary of fashion. A superior in dress excited the
keenest sensations of envy in her bosom; and a rival in appearance gave
her unspeakable mortification. Dissatisfied with her natural charms,
cosmetics and paints added to her expenses, and betrayed her folly. She
had many professed admirers, who found her a willing dupe to flattery,
and who raised her vanity by praising her excellent taste.
“Leander, a gentleman of liberal education, superior merit, and handsome
property, cast his eye around for a companion to share and enjoy these
advantages with him. Louisa caught his attention. The elegance of her
person, and splendor of her appearance, charmed his imagination, and
inspired the idea of a fortune sufficient to support her expensive style
of living. He paid his addresses and was received with the most
flattering encouragement. But how great was his disappointment, when he
discovered the smallness of her resources, and the imprudence of her
management! This, said he to himself, will never do for me. Were my
income far superior to what it is, it would not be adequate to such
unbounded extravagance. Besides, where so little economy is practised,
while under parental government, what must be the consequence of that
unlimited indulgence, which the confidence due to a wife demands? Were I
to abridge her expenses, and endeavor to rectify her fantastical taste,
it would doubtless foment dissension, discord, and animosity, which must
terminate in wretchedness. He resolved, however, to try her real
disposition, by gently hinting his disapprobation of her gaiety. This
she resented; and a rupture, which ended in a final separation, ensued.
She found, too late, the value of the man, whom she had slighted; and
ever after regretted that folly which had irretrievably alienated his
affections.
“The modesty and neatness of Clarinda’s garb next caught Leander’s eye.
Conversing with her on the subject of dress, the justness of her
sentiments gave him the highest ideas of the rectitude and innocence of
her mind. A costly article was offered for her purchase; but she refused
it. It would not become me, said she, nor any other person who has not
an affluent fortune. If I had a sufficiency to buy it, I would procure
something more simple and necessary for myself; and the overplus might
render an object of distress contented and happy.
“Yet was Clarinda always elegantly neat; always genteelly fashionable.
Frugality and economy, free from profusion and extravagance, enabled her
to indulge her own taste entirely; and while she enjoyed that, she
repined not at the fancied superiority of others. Leander found her all
he wished, in appearance; all he hoped for, in reality. As their tastes
were correspondent, and their highest aim, when united, to please each
other, they were not dependent on the breath of fashion for their
happiness. A compliance with its forms did not elate their pride, nor a
departure from them, fill their hearts with peevishness and discontent.”
_Thursday, A. M._
POLITENESS.
“Still more important than your habit, is your air and deportment. It is
not sufficient that these are pleasing to the eye of the superficial
observer. Your behavior and conversation must be uniformly governed by
the laws of politeness, discretion, and decorum. Else you will be
disgusting to people of refinement; and the judicious and discerning
will discover the weakness of your minds, notwithstanding the showy
ornaments, intended to conceal it from public view.
“Inattention in company is a breach of good manners. Indeed, it is a
downright insult; being neither more nor less, than declaring that you
have not the least respect for any who are present. Either you do not
value their good opinion, or you have something more important than
their conversation to occupy your minds.
“You should always be attentive to those with whom you are conversant,
let their rank and standing be what they may. Your superiors will esteem
you for your respectful treatment of them; your equals will love you for
your kindness and familiarity; your inferiors will respect you for your
condescension and meekness.
“Attention in company will be advantageous to yourselves. Like the
industrious bee, which sips honey from every plant, you may derive some
benefit or instruction from all kinds of society. Some useful remark or
information; some sentiment which may allure you to the practice of
virtue, or deter you from a vicious perpetration, may repay your labor,
and be serviceable through life.
“But should there be no other motive than that of pleasing your
associates, and rendering them happy, by making yourselves agreeable, it
may be considered as a sufficient inducement to the practice of this
branch of good-breeding. Many girls, in the thoughtless levity of their
hearts, divert themselves at the expense of others; and, with the utmost
glee, point out any thing peculiar in the appearance, words, or actions
of some one in the company, whom they select for a subject of merriment
and ridicule. This, by shrewd looks, ironical gestures, or tittering
whispers, is kept up, to the great mortification of the unhappy victim,
and to the reproach and dishonor of the offenders. Such conduct is a
breach, not only of the rules of common civility, but of humanity;
besides being directly repugnant to the precept of doing to others as we
would that they should do to us.
“Be particularly careful, then, not to mortify, or give pain to an
inferior.
“Let the question, ‘who maketh thee to differ?’ suppress every emotion
of ridicule, contempt, or neglect; and induce you to raise and encourage
depressed merit by your notice and approbation.
“As far as propriety, delicacy, and virtue will allow, conform to the
taste, and participate in the amusements and conversation of the company
into which you have fallen. If they be disagreeable to you, avoid a
supercilious avowal of your dislike. This, instead of reforming, would
probably give them a disgust to you, and perhaps subject you to
affronts. Yet where a disapprobating word or hint may be seasonable,
neglect not the opportunity of contributing to their benefit and
amendment.
“Are you conscious of superior advantages, either mental or external,
make no ostentatious display of them. Vanity too often leads young
ladies to obtrude their acquirements on the eyes of observers,
inconsiderately apprehending they may otherwise be unnoticed. Such
forwardness always subjects them to censure, ridicule, and envy; the
expressions of which destroy that self-approbation which retiring merit
invariably enjoys. However, exert that dignity of virtue which will
render you independent of caprice, calumny, and unprovoked satire.
“Make no ungenerous, or ill-natured remarks on the company, or on the
individuals of which it is composed.
“If you dislike them, avoid them in future. If you witness errors,
faults, or improprieties, conceal, or at least extenuate them, as much
as possible.
“Make just allowances for those who may differ from you in opinion; and
be cautious never to misrepresent, or circulate what appears amiss to
you, and must, if exposed, be injurious to others. Charity hides a
multitude of faults. Certainly then, charity will never aggravate nor
create them.
“To give currency to a report, which tends to the disadvantage and
dishonor of another, is defaming; and defamation is a species of
cruelty, which can never be expiated.
“Of this the unhappy, though imprudent Eudocia, is an exemplification.
“Eudocia was young, gay, and charming. A levity of disposition, which
the innocence of her heart attempted not to restrain, sometimes gave the
tongue of slander pretence to aim its envenomed shafts at her character,
and to misrepresent her sprightliness.
“Independent in fortune; still more so in mind, calumny gave her no
pain, while she was conscious of the rectitude of her intentions.
“Leontine was a gentleman of property; agreeable in his person and
manners; of strict honor, and extremely tenacious of it; but of a severe
and unforgiving temper. He paid his addresses to Eudocia; was accepted,
approved, and beloved. Yet, though he had gained her affections, he had
not sufficient influence to regulate her conduct, and repress her
gaiety. Her fondness for show and gallantry, in some instances, induced
her to countenance the attentions, and receive the flattery, of men,
whose characters were exceptionable, in Leontine’s estimation. He
remonstrated against her imprudence, and gave her his ideas of female
delicacy. She laughed at his gravity, and rallied him on his implicit
subjection to the opinions of others.
“Towards the close of a fine day, Eudocia rambled along a retired road,
to enjoy the air. She was alone; but the hope of meeting her beloved
Leontine, whom she expected that evening, imperceptibly led her beyond
her intended excursion. The rattling of a carriage caused her to stop;
and, thinking it to be Leontine’s, she approached it before she
perceived her mistake. A gentleman of an elegant appearance alighted and
accosting her politely, expressed his surprise at finding her so far
from home without an attendant. She found it was Florio, with whom she
had a slight acquaintance, having once met with him in company. She
frankly owned her motive for walking thus far; and refused his
invitation to return in his carriage. He renewed his request; and his
importunity, seconded by her fatigue, at last prevailed. At this moment
the detracting Lavina passed by. She saw Eudocia, and with a sneering
smile, wished her a good night. Eudocia was unconscious of fault, and
therefore fearless of censure. But the artful Florio, desirous of
protracting the pleasure of her company, took a circuitous route, which
considerably increased the distance to her father’s house. However, he
conveyed her safely home, though not so soon as she wished. She found
that Leontine had been there, and had gone to visit a friend; but would
soon return. Leontine was just seated at his friend’s, when Lavina
entered.
“She told the circle, that Florio had just passed her, and that he had
company she little expected to see with him. They inquired if it was his
former mistress? No, said she, he discarded her some time ago, and if we
may judge by appearances, has chosen a new one. Upon being asked who,
she presumed to name Eudocia. Every countenance expressed surprise and
regret. In Leontine, rage and resentment were visibly depicted. He rose,
and stepping hastily to Lavina, told her he was a party concerned, and
demanded an explanation of what she had insinuated. She perceived that
she had given offence, and endeavored to excuse herself; but he
resolutely told her that no evasions would avail; that he insisted on
the real truth of her scandalous report. Finding him thus determined,
she related the simple fact of seeing Eudocia in a carriage with Florio,
who was a known libertine, and accustomed to the society of loose women.
Leontine asked her how she came to associate the ideas she had mentioned
with Eudocia’s name? She replied that the lightness of her behavior had
sometimes rendered her censurable; and she thought this instance, in
particular, authorised suspicion. Leontine could not deny that she was
culpable in appearance; yet made answer, that though scandal might feast
on the failings of virtue, he believed Eudocia’s innocence much purer,
and her heart much better than her detractors’; and taking his hat, he
wished the company a good evening, and left them.
“His passions were on fire. He could not comprehend the mysterious
conduct of Eudocia. Her absence from home, at a time when he expected
her to receive him, and her being seen at a distance in company with a
professed debauchee, were a labyrinth which he could not explore. Though
he doubted not Eudocia’s honor, yet her folly and imprudence, in
subjecting her character to suspicion and reproach, he thought
unpardonable. His resentment determined him to break the proposed
connexion immediately; and, lest his love should get the better of his
resolution, he went directly to the house.
“As he could not command his temper, he appeared extremely agitated, and
angrily told Eudocia that she had caused him great uneasiness; and that
he came to claim the satisfaction of knowing, why she had avoided his
society, and made an assignation with a man who had involved her in
infamy? Eudocia was astonished and justly offended at this address. With
all the dignity of conscious innocence, she replied, that as yet he had
no right to challenge an account of her conduct; but for her own sake,
she would condescend to give it. This she did by a faithful and
undisguised relation of facts. She then asked him if he was satisfied.
He answered, No. For, said he, though you have cleared yourself of
guilt, in my apprehension, you will find it very difficult to free your
character from the blemish it has received in the opinion of the world.
Saying this he told her, that however highly he esteemed her, so
opposite were their dispositions, that they must often be at variance;
and so nice was his sense of honor, that his wife like Cæsar’s must not
only be virtuous, but unsuspected. She rejoined, that his sentiments
were apparent; and if what he then expressed were his opinion of her, it
was best they should part.
“Some further conversation passed; when promising to call, the next day,
and satisfy her parents, and wishing Eudocia all possible happiness in
life, he took his leave.
“The impropriety of her conduct, and her losing the affections of a man
she too ardently loved, together with the cruel treatment she had just
received from him, overwhelmed her with grief, and produced the most
violent emotions of regret. She walked her room in all the anguish of
disappointed hope. Her parents used every argument to soothe and console
her, but in vain.
“She yielded to their persuasions so far as to retire to bed; but rest
she found not; and the morning presented her in a burning fever.
Leontine called in the course of the day; but the friends of Eudocia
refused to see him. An account of her disorder had roused him to a sense
of his rashness, and he begged to be admitted to her chamber; but this
she utterly denied.
“Her fever left her; but the disease of her mind was beyond the power of
medicine. A settled melancholy still remains; and she lives the victim
of calumniation!
“To detract from the merit of others, beside the want of politeness
which it betrays, and beside the injuries which it always occasions, is
extremely impolitic. It is to confess your inferiority, and to
acknowledge a wish not to rise to greater respectability; but to bring
down those about you to your own level! Ill-natured remarks are the
genuine offspring of an envious and grovelling mind.
“Call yourselves to a severe account, therefore, whenever you have been
guilty of this degrading offence; and always check the first impulses
towards it.
“Accustom yourselves to the exercise of sincerity, benevolence and good
humor, those endearing virtues, which will render you beloved and
respected by all.
“To bestow your attention in company, upon trifling singularities in the
dress, person, or manners of others, is spending your time to little
purpose. From such a practice you can derive neither pleasure nor
profit; but must unavoidably subject yourselves to the imputation of
incivility and malice.”
_Thursday, P. M._
AMUSEMENTS.
“Amusement is impatiently desired, and eagerly sought by young ladies in
general. Forgetful that the noblest entertainment arises from a placid
and well cultivated mind, too many fly from themselves, from thought and
reflection, to fashionable dissipation, or what they call pleasure, as a
mean of beguiling the hours which solitude and retirement render
insupportably tedious.
“An extravagant fondness for company and public resorts is incompatible
with those domestic duties, the faithful discharge of which ought to be
the prevailing object of the sex. In the indulgence of this disposition,
the mind is enervated, and the manners corrupted, till all relish for
those enjoyments, which being simple and natural, are best calculated to
promote health, innocence, and social delight, is totally lost.
“It is by no means amiss for youth to seek relaxation from severer cares
and labors, in a participation of diversions, suited to their age, sex,
and station in life. But there is great danger of their lively
imaginations’ hurrying them into excess, and detaching their affections
from the ennobling acquisitions of moral improvement, and refined
delicacy. Guard, then against those amusements which have the least
tendency to sully the purity of your minds.
“Loose and immoral books; company, whose manners are licentious, however
gay and fashionable; conversation which is even tinctured with
profaneness or obscenity; plays in which the representation is immodest,
and offensive to the ear of chastity; indeed, pastimes of every
description, from which no advantage can be derived, should not be
countenanced; much less applauded. Why should those things afford
apparent satisfaction in a crowd which would call forth the blush of
indignation in more private circles? This question is worthy the serious
attention of those ladies, who at the theatre, can hardly restrain their
approbation of expressions and actions, which at their houses, would be
intolerably rude and indecent, in their most familiar friends!
“Cards are so much the taste of the present day, that to caution my
pupils against the too frequent use of them may be thought old fashioned
in the extreme. I believe it, however, to be a fascinating game, which
occupies the time, without yielding any kind of pleasure or profit. As
the satirist humorously observes,
“The love of gaming is the worst of ills;
With ceaseless storms the blacken’d soul it fills;
Inveighs at Heaven, neglects the ties of blood;
Destroys the power and will of doing good;
Kills health, pawns honor, plunges in disgrace;
And, what is still more dreadful—spoils your face.”
“One thing at least is certain; it entirely excludes all rational
conversation. That delightful interchange of sentiment, which the social
meeting of friends is calculated to afford and from which many
advantages might be derived, is utterly excluded.
“Reading, writing, drawing, needle-work, dancing, music, walking,
riding, and conversation are amusements well adapted to yield pleasure
and utility. From either of these, within proper bounds, there is no
danger of injury to the person or mind; though to render even our
diversions agreeable, they must be enjoyed with moderation, and
variously and prudently conducted. Such as are peculiarly exhilarating
to the spirits, however innocent in themselves, should be more
cautiously and sparingly indulged.
“When once the mind becomes too much relaxed by dissipating pastimes, it
is proportionably vitiated, and negligent of those nice attentions to
the rules of reserve and decorum which ought never to be suspended.
Intoxicating is the full draught of pleasure to the youthful mind; and
fatal are the effects of unrestrained passions.
“Flavia was the daughter of a gentleman, whose political principles
obliged him to leave his country at the commencement of the American
revolution. At that time she was at nurse in a neighboring village;
between which and the metropolis all communication being cut off, he was
reduced to the necessity of leaving her to the mercy of those to whom
she was entrusted. Having received her from pecuniary motives only, they
no sooner found themselves deprived of the profits of their labor and
care, than they sought relief by an application to the town for her
support. A wealthy farmer in the vicinity, who had often seen and been
pleased with the dawning charms of Flavia, pitied her condition, and
having no children of his own, resolved to shelter her from the
impending storm, till she could be better provided for. At his house she
was brought up in a homely, though comfortable manner. The good man and
his wife were excessively fond of her, and gave her every instruction
and advantage in their power. Plain truths were liberally inculcated,
and every exertion made to give her a habit of industry and good nature.
Flavia requited their kindness by an obliging and cheerful, a docile and
submissive deportment. As she advanced in years, she increased in
beauty. Her amiable disposition rendered her beloved, and her personal
accomplishments made her admired by all the village swains. The
approbating smile of Flavia was the reward of their toils, and the favor
of her hand in the rustic dance was emulously sought.
“In this state, Flavia was happy. Health and innocence were now her
portion; nor had ambition as yet taught her to sigh for pleasure beyond
the reach of her attainment.
“But the arrival of her father, who had been permitted to return, and
re-possess the estate which he had abandoned, put a period to the
simplicity and peace of Flavia’s mind. He sought and found her; and
though sensible of his obligations to her foster-parents for snatching
her from want and distress, still he could not prevail on himself to
make so great a sacrifice to gratitude as they wished, by permitting his
daughter to spend her days in obscurity. The lively fancy of Flavia was
allured by the splendid promises and descriptions of her father; and she
readily consented to leave the friends of her childhood and youth, and
explore the walks of fashionable life.
“When she arrived in town, what new scenes opened upon the dazzled eyes
of the admiring, and admired Flavia!