"Then the' wa'n't nothin' the matter with him, after all," commented
Mrs. Bixbee in rather a disappointed tone.
"The meanest thing top of the earth was the matter with him," declared
David, "but I didn't find it out till the next afternoon, an' then I
found it out good. I hitched him to the open buggy an' went 'round by
the East road, 'cause that ain't so much travelled. He went along all
right till we got a mile or so out of the village, an' then I slowed him
down to a walk. Wa'al, sir, scat my ----! He hadn't walked more'n a rod
'fore he come to a dead stan'still. I clucked an' git-app'd, an' finely
took the gad to him a little; but he only jest kind o' humped up a
little, an' stood like he'd took root."
"Wa'al, now!" exclaimed Mrs. Bixbee.
"Yes'm," said David; "I was stuck in ev'ry sense of the word."
"What d'ye do?"
"Wa'al, I tried all the tricks I knowed--an' I could lead him--but when
I was in the buggy he wouldn't stir till he got good an' ready; 'n' then
he'd start of his own accord an' go on a spell, an'--"
"Did he keep it up?" Mrs. Bixbee interrupted.
"Wa'al, I s'd say he did. I finely got home with the critter, but I
thought one time I'd either hev to lead him or spend the night on the
East road. He balked five sep'rate times, varyin' in length, an' it was
dark when we struck the barn."
"I should hev thought you'd a wanted to kill him," said Mrs. Bixbee;
"an' the fellers that sold him to ye, too."
"The' _was_ times," David replied, with a nod of his head, "when if he'd
a fell down dead I wouldn't hev figgered on puttin' a band on my hat,
but it don't never pay to git mad with a hoss; an' as fur 's the feller
I bought him of, when I remembered how he told me he'd stand without
hitchin', I swan! I had to laugh. I did, fer a fact. 'Stand without
hitchin'!' He, he, he!"
"I guess you wouldn't think it was so awful funny if you hadn't gone an'
stuck that horse onto Deakin Perkins--an' I don't see how you done it."
"Mebbe that _is_ part of the joke," David allowed, "an' I'll tell ye th'
rest on't. Th' next day I hitched the new one to th' dem'crat wagin an'
put in a lot of straps an' rope, an' started off fer the East road agin.
He went fust rate till we come to about the place where we had the fust
trouble, an', sure enough, he balked agin. I leaned over an' hit him a
smart cut on the off shoulder, but he only humped a little, an' never
lifted a foot. I hit him another lick, with the selfsame result. Then I
got down an' I strapped that animal so't he couldn't move nothin' but
his head an' tail, an' got back into the buggy. Wa'al, bom-by, it may
'a' ben ten minutes, or it may 'a' ben more or less--it's slow work
settin' still behind a balkin' hoss--he was ready to go on his own
account, but he couldn't budge. He kind o' looked around, much as to
say, 'What on earth's the matter?' an' then he tried another move, an'
then another, but no go. Then I got down an' took the hopples off an'
then climbed back into the buggy, an' says 'Cluck, to him, an' off he
stepped as chipper as could be, an' we went joggin' along all right
mebbe two mile, an' when I slowed up, up he come agin. I gin him another
clip in the same place on the shoulder, an' I got down an' tied him up
agin, an' the same thing happened as before, on'y it didn't take him
quite so long to make up his mind about startin', an' we went some
further without a hitch. But I had to go through the pufformance the
third time before he got it into his head that if he didn't go when _I_
wanted he couldn't go when _he_ wanted, an' that didn't suit him; an'
when he felt the whip on his shoulder it meant bus'nis."
"Was that the end of his balkin'?" asked Mrs. Bixbee.
"I had to give him one more go-round," said David, "an' after that I
didn't have no more trouble with him. He showed symptoms at times, but a
touch of the whip on the shoulder alwus fetched him. I alwus carried
them straps, though, till the last two or three times."
"Wa'al, what's the deakin kickin' about, then?" asked Aunt Polly.
"You're jest sayin' you broke him of balkin'."
"Wa'al," said David slowly, "some hosses will balk with some folks an'
not with others. You can't most alwus gen'ally tell."
"Didn't the deakin have a chance to try him?"
"He had all the chance he ast fer," replied David. "Fact is, he done
most of the sellin', as well 's the buyin', himself."
"How's that?"
"Wa'al," said David, "it come about like this: After I'd got the hoss
where I c'd handle him I begun to think I'd had some int'restin' an'
valu'ble experience, an' it wa'n't scurcely fair to keep it all to
myself. I didn't want no patent on't, an' I was willin' to let some
other feller git a piece. So one mornin', week before last--let's see,
week ago Tuesday it was, an' a mighty nice mornin' it was, too--one o'
them days that kind o' lib'ral up your mind--I allowed to hitch an'
drive up past the deakin's an' back, an' mebbe git somethin' to
strengthen my faith, et cetery, in case I run acrost him. Wa'al, 's I
come along I seen the deakin putterin' 'round, an' I waved my hand to
him an' went by a-kitin'. I went up the road a ways an' killed a little
time, an' when I come back there was the deakin, as I expected. He was
leanin' over the fence, an' as I jogged up he hailed me, an' I pulled
up.
"'Mornin', Mr. Harum,' he says.
"'Mornin', deakin,' I says. 'How are ye? an' how's Mis' Perkins these
days?'
"'I'm fair,' he says; 'fair to middlin', but Mis' Perkins is ailin'
some--as _usyul_' he says."
"They do say," put in Mrs. Bixbee, "thet Mis' Perkins don't hev much of
a time herself."
"Guess she hez all the time the' is," answered David. "Wa'al," he went
on, "we passed the time o' day, an' talked a spell about the weather an'
all that, an' finely I straightened up the lines as if I was goin' on,
an' then I says: 'Oh, by the way,' I says, 'I jest thought on't. I heard
Dominie White was lookin' fer a hoss that 'd suit him.' 'I hain't
heard,' he says; but I see in a minute he had--an' it really was a
fact--an' I says: 'I've got a roan colt risin' five, that I took on a
debt a spell ago, that I'll sell reasonable, that's as likely an' nice
ev'ry way a young hoss as ever I owned. I don't need him,' I says, 'an'
didn't want to take him, but it was that or nothin' at the time an' glad
to git it, an' I'll sell him a barg'in. Now what I want to say to you,
deakin, is this: That hoss 'd suit the dominie to a tee in my opinion,
but the dominie won't come to me. Now if _you_ was to say to him--bein'
in his church an' all thet,' I says, 'that you c'd get him the right
kind of a hoss, he'd believe you, an' you an' me 'd be doin' a little
stroke of bus'nis, an' a favor to the dominie into the bargain. The
dominie's well off,' I says, 'an' c'n afford to drive a good hoss.'"
"What did the deakin say?" asked Aunt Polly as David stopped for breath.
"I didn't expect him to jump down my throat," he answered; "but I seen
him prick up his ears, an' all the time I was talkin' I noticed him
lookin' my hoss over, head an' foot. 'Now I 'member,' he says, 'hearin'
sunthin' 'bout Mr. White's lookin' fer a hoss, though when you fust
spoke on't it had slipped my mind. Of course,' he says, 'the' ain't any
real reason why Mr. White shouldn't deal with you direct, an' yit mebbe
I _could_ do more with him 'n you could. But,' he says, 'I wa'n't
cal'latin' to go t' the village this mornin', an' I sent my hired man
off with my drivin' hoss. Mebbe I'll drop 'round in a day or two,' he
says, 'an' look at the roan.'
"'You mightn't ketch me,' I says, 'an' I want to show him myself; an'
more'n that,' I says, 'Dug Robinson's after the dominie. I'll tell ye,'
I says, 'you jest git in 'ith me an' go down an' look at him, an' I'll
send ye back or drive ye back, an' if you've got anythin' special on
hand you needn't be gone three quarters of an hour,' I says."
"He come, did he?" inquired Mrs. Bixbee.
"He done _so_," said David sententiously. "Jest as I knowed he would,
after he'd hem'd an' haw'd about so much, an' he rode a mile an' a half
livelier 'n he done in a good while, I reckon. He had to pull that old
broad-brim of his'n down to his ears, an' don't you fergit it. He, he,
he, he! The road was jest _full_ o' hosses. Wa'al, we drove into the
yard, an' I told the hired man to unhitch the bay hoss an' fetch out the
roan, an' while he was bein' unhitched the deakin stood 'round an' never
took his eyes off'n him, an' I knowed I wouldn't sell the deakin no roan
hoss _that_ day, even if I wanted to. But when he come out I begun to
crack him up, an' I talked hoss fer all I was wuth. The deakin looked
him over in a don't-care kind of a way, an' didn't 'parently give much
heed to what I was sayin'. Finely I says, 'Wa'al, what do you think of
him?' 'Wa'al,' he says, 'he seems to be a likely enough critter, but I
don't believe he'd suit Mr. White--'fraid not,' he says. 'What you
askin' fer him?' he says. 'One-fifty,' I says, 'an' he's a cheap hoss at
the money'; but," added the speaker with a laugh, "I knowed I might 's
well of said a thousan'. The deakin wa'n't buyin' no roan colts that
mornin'."
"What did he say?" asked Mrs. Bixbee.
"'Wa'al,' he says, 'wa'al, I guess you ought to git that much fer him,
but I'm 'fraid he ain't what Mr. White wants.' An' then, 'That's quite
a hoss we come down with,' he says. 'Had him long?' 'Jest long 'nough to
git 'quainted with him,' I says. 'Don't you want the roan fer your own
use?' I says. 'Mebbe we c'd shade the price a little.' 'No,' he says, 'I
guess not. I don't need another hoss jest now.' An' then, after a minute
he says: 'Say, mebbe the bay hoss we drove 'd come nearer the mark fer
White, if he's all right. Jest as soon I'd look at him?' he says.
'Wa'al, I hain't no objections, but I guess he's more of a hoss than the
dominie 'd care for, but I'll go an' fetch him out,' I says. So I
brought him out, an' the deakin looked him all over. I see it was a case
of love at fust sight, as the story-books says. 'Looks all right,' he
says. 'I'll tell ye,' I says, 'what the feller I bought him of told me.'
'What's that?' says the deakin. 'He said to me,' I says, '"that hoss
hain't got a scratch ner a pimple on him. He's sound an' kind, an' 'll
stand without hitchin', an' a lady c'd drive him as well 's a man."'
"'That's what he said to me,' I says, 'an' it's every word on't true.
You've seen whether or not he c'n travel,' I says, 'an', so fur 's I've
seen, he ain't 'fraid of nothin'.' 'D'ye want to sell him?' the deakin
says. 'Wa'al,' I says, 'I ain't offerin' him fer sale. You'll go a good
ways,' I says, ''fore you'll strike such another; but, of course, he
ain't the only hoss in the world, an' I never had anythin' in the hoss
line I wouldn't sell at _some_ price.' 'Wa'al,' he says, 'what d' ye ask
fer him?' 'Wa'al,' I says, 'if my own brother was to ask me that
question I'd say to him two hunderd dollars, cash down, an' I wouldn't
hold the offer open an hour,' I says."
"My!" ejaculated Aunt Polly. "Did he take you up?"
"'That's more'n I give fer a hoss 'n a good while,' he says, shakin' his
head, 'an' more'n I c'n afford, I'm 'fraid.' 'All right,' I says; 'I c'n
afford to keep him'; but I knew I had the deakin same as the woodchuck
had Skip. 'Hitch up the roan,' I says to Mike; 'the deakin wants to be
took up to his house.' 'Is that your last word?' he says. 'That's what
it is,' I says. 'Two hunderd, cash down.'"
"Didn't ye dast to trust the deakin?" asked Mrs. Bixbee.
"Polly," said David, "the's a number of holes in a ten-foot ladder."
Mrs. Bixbee seemed to understand this rather ambiguous rejoinder.
"He must 'a' squirmed some," she remarked. David laughed.
"The deakin ain't much used to payin' the other feller's price," he
said, "an' it was like pullin' teeth; but he wanted that hoss more'n a
cow wants a calf, an' after a little more squimmidgin' he hauled out his
wallet an' forked over. Mike come out with the roan, an' off the deakin
went, leadin' the bay hoss."
"I don't see," said Mrs. Bixbee, looking up at her brother, "thet after
all the' was anythin' you said to the deakin thet he could ketch holt
on."
"The' wa'n't nothin'," he replied. "The only thing he c'n complain
about's what I _didn't_ say to him."
"Hain't he said anythin' to ye?" Mrs. Bixbee inquired.
"He, he, he, he! He hain't but once, an' the' wa'n't but little of it
then."
"How?"
"Wa'al, the day but one after the deakin sold himself Mr.
Stickin'-Plaster I had an arrant three four mile or so up past his
place, an' when I was comin' back, along 'bout four or half past, it
come on to rain like all possessed. I had my old umbrel'--though it
didn't hender me f'm gettin' more or less wet--an' I sent the old mare
along fer all she knew. As I come along to within a mile f'm the
deakin's house I seen somebody in the road, an' when I come up closter I
see it was the deakin himself, in trouble, an' I kind o' slowed up to
see what was goin' on. There he was, settin' all humped up with his ole
broad-brim hat slopin' down his back, a-sheddin' water like a roof. Then
I seen him lean over an' larrup the hoss with the ends of the lines fer
all he was wuth. It appeared he hadn't no whip, an' it wouldn't done him
no good if he'd had. Wa'al, sir, rain or no rain, I jest pulled up to
watch him. He'd larrup a spell, an' then he'd set back; an' then he'd
lean over an' try it agin, harder'n ever. Scat my ----! I thought I'd
die a-laughin'. I couldn't hardly cluck to the mare when I got ready to
move on. I drove alongside an' pulled up. 'Hullo, deakin,' I says,
'what's the matter?' He looked up at me, an' I won't say he was the
maddest man I ever see, but he was long ways the maddest-lookin' man,
an' he shook his fist at me jest like one o' the unregen'rit. 'Consarn
ye, Dave Harum!' he says, 'I'll hev the law on ye fer this.' 'What fer?'
I says. 'I didn't make it come on to rain, did I?' I says. 'You know
mighty well what fer,' he says. 'You sold me this _damned beast_,' he
says, 'an' he's balked with me _nine_ times this afternoon, an' I'll fix
ye for 't,' he says. 'Wa'al, deakin,' I says, 'I'm 'fraid the squire's
office 'll be shut up 'fore you _git_ there, but I'll take any word
you'd like to send. You know I told ye,' I says, 'that he'd stand
'ithout hitchin'.' An' at that he only jest kind o' choked an'
sputtered. He was so mad he couldn't say nothin', an' on I drove, an'
when I got about forty rod or so I looked back, an' there was the deakin
a-comin' along the road with as much of his shoulders as he could git
under his hat an' _leadin'_ his new hoss. He, he, he, he! Oh, my stars
an' garters! Say, Polly, it paid me fer bein' born into this vale o'
tears. It did, I declare for't!" Aunt Polly wiped her eyes on her apron.
"But, Dave," she said, "did the deakin really say--_that word_?"
"Wa'al," he replied, "if 'twa'n't that it was the puttiest imitation
on't that ever I heard."
"David," she continued, "don't you think it putty mean to badger the
deakin so't he swore, an' then laugh 'bout it? An' I s'pose you've told
the story all over."
"Mis' Bixbee," said David emphatically, "if I'd paid good money to see a
funny show I'd be a blamed fool if I didn't laugh, wouldn't I? That
specticle of the deakin cost me consid'able, but it was more'n wuth it.
But," he added, "I guess, the way the thing stands now, I ain't so much
out on the hull."
Mrs. Bixbee looked at him inquiringly.
"Of course, you know Dick Larrabee?" he asked.
She nodded.
"Wa'al, three four days after the shower, an' the story 'd got aroun'
some--as _you_ say, the deakin _is_ consid'able of a talker--I got holt
of Dick--I've done him some favors an' he natur'ly expects more--an' I
says to him: 'Dick,' I says, 'I hear 't Deakin Perkins has got a hoss
that don't jest suit him--hain't got knee-action enough at times,' I
says, 'an' mebbe he'll sell him reasonable.' 'I've heerd somethin' about
it,' says Dick, laughin'. 'One of them kind o' hosses 't you don't like
to git ketched out in the rain with,' he says. 'Jes' so,' I says. 'Now,'
I says, 'I've got a notion 't I'd like to own that hoss at a price, an'
that mebbe _I_ c'd git him home even if it did rain. Here's a hunderd
an' ten,' I says, 'an' I want you to see how fur it'll go to buyin' him.
If you git me the hoss you needn't bring none on't back. Want to try?' I
says. 'All right,' he says, an' took the money. 'But,' he says, 'won't
the deakin suspicion that it comes from you?' 'Wa'al,' I says, 'my
portrit ain't on none o' the bills, an' I reckon _you_ won't tell him
so, out an' out,' an' off he went. Yistidy he come in, an' I says,
'Wa'al, done anythin'?' 'The hoss is in your barn,' he says. 'Good fer
you!' I says. 'Did you make anythin'?' 'I'm satisfied,' he says. 'I made
a ten-dollar note.' An' that's the net results on't," concluded David,
"that I've got the hoss, an' he's cost me jest thirty-five dollars."