Nicole)
DORANTE: My dear friend, Monsieur Jourdain, how do you do?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Very well, sir, to render you my small
services.
DORANTE: And Madame Jourdain there, how is she?
MADAME JOURDAIN: Madame Jourdain is as well as she can be.
DORANTE: Well! Monsieur Jourdain, you are excellently well
dressed!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You see.
DORANTE: You have a fine air in that suit, and we have no young men
at court who are better made than you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Well! well!
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) He scratches him where it itches.
DORANTE: Turn around. It's positively elegant.
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) Yes, as big a fool behind as in front.
DORANTE: My faith, Monsieur Jourdain, I was strangely impatient to
see you. You are the man in the world I esteem most, and I was
speaking of you again this morning in the bedchamber of the King.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You do me great honor, sir. (To Madame Jourdain)
In the King's bedchamber!
DORANTE: Come, put on...
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Sir, I know the respect I owe you.
DORANTE: Heavens! Put on your hat; I pray you, no ceremony between
us.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Sir...
DORANTE: Put it on, I tell you, Monsieur Jourdain: you are my
friend.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Sir, I am your humble servant.
DORANTE: I won't be covered if you won't.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: (Putting on his hat) I would rather be uncivil
than troublesome.
DORANTE: I am in your debt, as you know.
MADAME JOURDAIN: Yes, we know it all too well.
DORANTE: You have generously lent me money upon several occasions,
and you have obliged me with the best grace in the world,
assuredly.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Sir, you jest with me.
DORANTE: But I know how to repay what is lent me, and to
acknowledge the favors rendered me.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I have no doubt of it, sir.
DORANTE: I want to settle this matter with you, and I came here to
make up our accounts together.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: There wife! You see your impertinence!
DORANTE: I am a man who likes to repay debts as soon as I can.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: (Aside to Madame Jourdain) I told you so.
DORANTE: Let's see how much do I owe you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: (Aside to Madame Jourdain) There you are, with
your ridiculous suspicions.
DORANTE: Do you remember well all the money you have lent me?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I believe so. I made a little note of it. Here
it is. Once you were given two hundred louis d'or.
DORANTE: That's true.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Another time, six-score.
DORANTE: Yes. MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: And another time, a hundred and
forty.
DORANTE: You're right.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: These three items make four hundred and sixty
louis d'or, which comes to five thousand sixty livres.
DORANTE: The account is quite right. Five thousand sixty livres.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: One thousand eight hundred thirty-two livres to
your plume-maker.
DORANTE: Exactly.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Two thousand seven hundred eighty livres to your
tailor.
DORANTE: It's true.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Four thousand three hundred seventy-nine livres
twelve sols eight deniers to your tradesman.
DORANTE: Quite right. Twelve sols eight deniers. The account is
exact.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: And one thousand seven hundred forty-eight
livres seven sols four deniers to your saddler.
DORANTE: All that is true. What does that come to?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Sum total, fifteen thousand eight hundred
livres.
DORANTE: The sum total is exact: fifteen thousand eight hundred
livres. To which add two hundred pistoles that you are going to
give me, which will make exactly eighteen thousand francs, which I
shall pay you at the first opportunity.
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) Well, didn't I predict it?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Peace!
DORANTE: Will that inconvenience you, to give me the amount I say?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Oh, no!
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) That man is making a milk-cow out of you!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Be quiet!
DORANTE: If that inconveniences you, I will seek it somewhere
else.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: NO, Sir.
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) He won't be content until he's ruined
you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Be quiet, I tell you.
DORANTE: You have only to tell me if that embarrasses you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Not at all, sir.
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) He's a real wheedler!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Hush.
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) He'll drain you to the last sou.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Will you be quiet?
DORANTE: I have a number of people who would gladly lend it to me;
but since you are my best friend, I believed I might do you wrong
if I asked someone else for it.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: It's too great an honor, sir, that you do me.
I'll go get it for you.
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) What! You're going to give it to him
again?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What can I do? Do you want me to refuse a man of
this station, who spoke about me this morning in the King's
bedchamber?
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Aside) Go on, you're a true dupe.
ACT THREE