SCENE--_Interior of a Suburban Railway Carriage._ BROWN, JONES _and_
ROBINSON _discovered reading papers_.
_Brown._ Wonderful this war between China and Japan. And all arising
out of the Corea. By the way, where is the Corea?
_Jones._ Oh, close to Port Arthur. Haven't you seen the maps in the
paper?
_Brown._ Yes, but they begin, so to speak, in the middle. Of course I
know where the Corea is for about a hundred miles all round, but what's
beyond?
_Robinson_ (_looking over the top of his paper_). I fancy Russia.
That's evidently why the Russians took such an interest in the row. You
see, of course, they want an entrance into the Mediterranean from the
Black Sea, and if the Corea were definitely annexed by the Japanese,
what would become of Sebastopol?
_Brown._ Why, you are thinking of the Crimea.
_Robinson._ I suppose I am.
[_Resumes the reading of his paper._
_Jones._ But still the Russians do take an interest in the quarrel. Or
rather did; for, now that the Muscovites are on such excellent terms
with us, it doesn't much matter what happens.
_Brown._ Of course not. Such good taste of the CZAR to make the Prince
a Colonel of the Kiel Hussars, and saying, too, that his bride was
English, not German. The new Emperor thoroughly appreciates the value
of an English alliance. And you see France, too, wants to join it.
_Jones._ Then that will put everything right about Egypt, Madagascar,
and Afghanistan.
_Robinson_ (_emerging from his paper_). I never could see the use of
the Suez Canal. No more could Lord Palmerston. And couldn't we get to
India quite as quickly by the Pacific Railway?
_Brown_ (_doubtfully_). I think not; although, of course, it shortens
the route to Australia. I fancy it wouldn't help us much with Egypt.
_Jones._ Why, the Pacific Railway is in Canada--isn't it?
_Robinson._ I suppose it is.
[_Returns to the perusal of his paper._
_Brown._ Not that the Pacific Railway isn't useful. You see, the
Americans are waking up, and even proposed to intervene in the
Chino-Japanese controversy. That shows they have abandoned the old
policy of keeping themselves to themselves.
_Jones._ Of course that's impossible. You see that while we are so
violently in favour of free trade, we must take an interest in
transatlantic politics.
_Brown._ Yes, there is a good deal in what you say, and I suppose on
account of the fall in silver we all must be careful.
_Robinson_ (_emerging from his paper_). Perhaps it is connected with
bi-metallism.
[_Train enters tunnel, and in the rattle the talk subsides._
* * * * *