BET. But, consider, sir, you can’t expect me to act a part at a
moment’s notice.
CRUM. Then take that veil to Mrs. Mouser, and in a few minutes you
can come back, but be sure you _do_ come back!
_Enter MOUSER, L. D. F._
BET. (_looking at him_) Well, I don’t think there’s much danger
of my falling in love with _him_.
(_MOUSER, who has put his hat, &c., on table, C., turns and sees
BETSY, who runs off, L. D._)
MOUS. (_L., severely to CRUMMY_) Mr. Crummy, what is that young
person?
CRUM. Ha, ha! Come, I like that! Go along!
MOUS. But _I_ don’t like it, sir--neither shall I go along. I
repeat, who is that young person?
CRUM. Ha, ha! You do it very well, Mouser--but it won’t do--ugh! you
Don Juan! (_poking him in the side_)
MOUS. (_after a look of astonishment at CRUMMY, then aside_)
Can he have been drinking thus early.
CRUM. But I really think you might have waited till I was out of the
room, before you----
MOUS. Before I what, sir?
CRUM. You know--this sort of thing, eh? (_winking at MOUSER_) I
suppose you thought I shouldn’t see you do it, eh?
MOUS. Do it. Do what?
CRUM. Wink at her.
MOUS. (_with grandeur_) Mr. Crummy!
CRUM. That’s right--brazen it out--but let me tell you, sir, I have had
my eye upon you and that young woman for some time past.
MOUS. Oh, damn it, I can’t stand this! you forget that you’re a
junior partner, sir.
CRUM. And you forget that I’m your wife’s cousin, sir--yes, sir! And
I’ll not allow you to impose upon her with your pretended affection, you
good-for-nothing little hypocrite you, while you carry on an intrigue
under her very nose, sir.
MOUS. Nose, sir.
CRUM. No, sir! Neither will I suffer you to trifle with the feelings
of one that I’m determined shall not fall into the trap you have laid,
sir. You know who I mean--Baker, sir! (_going round him in front to L._)
MOUS. _I_ trifle with the feelings of a Baker! I lay a trap for
a Baker! You’re talking nonsense, Crummy!
CRUM. Come, come. Now that you see I’ve found you out--tell me how you
contrived to wheedle poor Betsy out of her affections?
MOUS. Crummy, I’m not apt to make use of strong language--but--by the
living jingo, I never wheedled a Betsy out of anything in all my
life!
CRUM. Well, I suppose I must believe you. But, intentionally or not,
you certainly have made a most powerful impression on her youthful
heart! She confessed as much to me just now.
MOUS. (_gradually dropping his look of indignation, and with
self-satisfaction_) Poor Betsy! I’m very sorry for her, I’m sure! I
say, Crummy, she’s a niceish little sort of a girl enough.