GENERAL VILLA, in pursuit of whom a United States army has already
penetrated four hundred miles into Mexico, is alleged to have died.
It is not considered likely, however, that he will escape as easily
as all that.
***
"Germans net the Sound," says a recent issue of a contemporary. We
don't know what profit they will get out of it, but we ourselves in
these hard times are only too glad to net anything.
***
Bags of coffee taken from a Norwegian steamer and destined for German
consumption have been found to contain rubber. Once more the
immeasurable superiority of the German chemist as a deviser of
synthetic substitutes for ordinary household commodities is clearly
illustrated. What a contrast to our own scientists, whose use of this
most valuable food substitute has never gone far beyond an occasional
fowl or beefsteak.
***
It has been suggested that in honour of the tercentenary of
SHAKSPEARE'S birth Barclay's brewery should be replaced by a new
theatre, a replica of the old Globe Theatre, whose site it is supposed
to occupy; and Mr. REGINALD MCKENNA is understood to have stated that
it is quite immaterial to him.
***
"Horseflesh is on sale in the West End," says _The Daily Telegraph_,
"and the public analyst at Westminster reports having examined a
smoked horseflesh sausage and found it genuine." It is only fair to
our readers, however, to point out that the method of testing sausages
now in vogue, _i.e._ with a stethoscope, is only useful for
ascertaining the identity of the animal (if any) contained therein,
and is valueless in the case of sausages that are filled with sawdust,
india-rubber shavings, horsehair and other vegetables.
***
Wandsworth Borough has refused the offer of a horse trough on the
ground that there are not enough horses to use it. But there are
always plenty of shirkers.
***
Colonel CHURCHILL was reported on Tuesday last as having been seen
entering the side door of No. 11, Downing Street. It was, of course,
the critical stage door.
***
The Austrian Government has issued an appeal for dogs "for sanitary
purposes." The valuable properties of the dog for sterilising sausage
casings have long been a secret of the Teuton.
* * * * *
Commercial Candour.
"Real Harris Hand-Knitted Socks, _1s. 6d._: worth _2s. 6d._;
unwearable."--_Scotch Paper._
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Shopkeeper._ "YES, I WANT A GOOD USEFUL LAD TO BE
PARTLY INDOORS AND PARTLY OUTDOORS."
_Applicant._ "AND WHAT BECOMES OF ME WHEN THE DOOR SLAMS?"]
* * * * *
A Chance for the Illiterate.
"Wanted, a good, all-round Gardener; illegible."--_Provincial
Paper._
"Gardener.--Wanted at once, clever experienced man with good
knowledge of toms., cucs., mums., &c., to work up small
nursery."
_Provincial Paper._
One with a knowledge of nursery language preferred.
* * * * *
"MANCHESTER, ENG. The election of directors of the Manchester
Chamber of Commerce resulted in the return of eighteen out of
twenty-two directors who are definitely committed to the
policy of no free trade with the 60th Canadian Battalion."
_Victoria Colonist (B.C.)._
We hope the battalion will not retaliate by refusing protection to
Manchester, Eng.
* * * * *