_Baby._ Perambulator, bottle, robe, fingerless gloves and woollen shoes.
_Schoolboy._ Bat, ball, and aids to education.
_Lover._ Guitar, music-book, writing materials, and fur-lined overcoat.
_Justice._ Capon in basket, robes, and treatise upon ancient saws and
modern instances.
_Soldier._ Sword, uniform case, standard work upon Reputation.
_Pantaloon._ Sausages, property red-hot poker, costume of motley,
slippers and spectacle case.
_Veteran._ Travels without luggage.
* * * * *
A GREAT TRAVELLER.--Dr. Watts was evidently in the habit of making
pedestrian excursions on the Continent, for in one of his noblest lines,
he expressly says--
"Whene'er I take my walks abroad."
* * * * *
INNOCENT ABROAD.--You are misled in your view that the _Cours de
Cuisine_, mentioned in the prospectus of a French school, means the run
of the kitchen.
* * * * *
[Illustration: IN THE SWISS HIGHLANDS.--_Brown._ "This is rather a
pretty figure. You start on the left foot, cut a drop three--then----"
(_Bump_)
_Little Girl_ (_unmoved_). "Oh, _that's_ why it's called a drop three,
Mr. Brown!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Photographer_ (_on tour, absent-mindedly_). "Now smile,
please!"]
* * * * *
AT THE CELESTIAL RESTAURANT.--_Customer_ (_indignantly_). Hi! waiter,
what do you call this soup?
_Waiter_ (_meekly_). I not know, sir, but ze padrone tell me to describe
'im Cockstail!
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Traveller_ (_snap-shotting tropical river, suddenly
confronted by hippopotamus_). "Just keep like that one moment, please!"
(_Rapturously_) "Such a delightful expression!"]
* * * * *
NOTE BY OUR TRAVELLER--At a station on the Elham Valley Line, "Kentish
Pianos" are advertised. Are these adapted for playing only dance tunes,
and therefore specially serviceable in a "Hop" county?
* * * * *