Now I really do not care a
Hang about the Riviera,
In the daytime you've a gay time,
But the nights are very cold.
And for any kind of touring,
Which I used to find alluring,
I for biking had a liking,
But I now have grown too old.
Then the constant change of weather
To my thinking, altogether
Knocked the notion of an ocean
Trip completely on the head;
I've a horror, too, of "trippers,"
'Arrys, 'Arriets, and "nippers,"
So a jolly quiet holi-
Day I spent at home in bed.
* * * * *
NO DIFFERENCE.--_English Customer_ (_to Manager of restaurant_). I see,
Signor Maraschino, that the American gentleman and his wife who have
just left drank nothing but water with their dinner. Does that make much
difference in their bill?
_Signor Maraschino._ Noting, sir. They pay same as yourself and lady,
who 'ave champagne. Oderwise 'ow should we live?
* * * * *
"THE GREAT LOAN LAND."--Russia.
* * * * *
[Illustration: WHAT DID MR. PUNCH DO IN THE EASTER RECESS?--Volunteer
review! Not a bit of it! He just popped over, and had a few days of
delightful _dolce far niente_ at Venice.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: Papa, Maman, et Bebe s'en vont a la peche aux crevettes.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: FIN DE LA SAISON.--(_At a Cercle Anglais. "Le Fiv'
o'clock," i.e., Afternoon Tea._)
_Britisher._ "_Coming to the ball to-night, Count?_"
_Monsieur le Comte._ "Moi, mon cher? Ah, non. I am tired. I have the
ache everywhere. I have play the football!"
_Britisher._ "Good! What?--Forward, half-back?"
_Monsieur le Comte._ "Forward! Half-back! Par exemple, I am
'Arbitre'--how you say it?--Referee!"]
* * * * *