for conversation, an Afghan to keep house, and a Turk to beat up as an
example to the others.”
* * *
EASY COME EASY GO
Sultan Murad IV inherited 240 wives when he assumed the throne of
Turkey. He decided to dispense with their help by the simple expedient
of putting each wife in a sack and tossing them one by one into the
Bosphorus.
* * *
Alexander Richter, placed a wreath on his own grave every week for 60
years. He disappeared, and when he returned he found that the body of a
drowned man had been buried as his own under his name.
* * *
Each of the five husbands of Frau Irmgard Bruns, of Berlin, committed
suicide. 1928.
* * *
Frank Damek, of Chicago, compiled a complete deck of cards by picking
them up from time to time in the street! After 10 years he was 15 cards
short. It was another 20 years before he finally completed his deck, in
1890.
* * *
THE CRUISE OF THE SKELETONS
“While cruising near the coastline of Punta Arenas (Chile) the British
sailing ship ‘Johnson’ sighted what appeared to be a boat with sails
floating in the wind. The British signals eliciting no response, the
craft was approached and it was noticed that masts and sails were
covered with some kind of green moss, and that the vessel seemed
abandoned by its crew. Upon boarding it the skeleton of a man was
discovered beneath the helm. The deck was decayed to such an extent
that it gave under the footsteps. Three more skeletons were found near
a panel, ten were found in the crew’s quarters, and six on the bridge.
Upon the ravaged prow of the vessel, the words _Marlborough Glasgow_
could still be discerned. The Marlborough left Littleton, N. Z. in
January 1890, with a cargo of wool and frozen mutton, and a crew of
23 men under command of Captain Hird. It was last seen on its regular
course in the Straits of Magellan. In April 1890 an unsuccessful search
for the vessel was made. There were also a few passengers on board and
one woman.”
_Reported by the official Agence Havas on Nov. 26, 1913 and by
Wellington (New Zealand) Evening Post of Nov. 13, 1913._
* * *
THE MAN WHO DRANK HIMSELF TO DEATH
The surgeon Dr. Politman, a native of Lorraine, died at the age of 140,
having been drunk each day since he was 25 years old. On the eve of his
death he performed a major surgical operation successfully.
_I refer you Dr. W. Rullman’s “Die natürliche Lebensdauer des
Menschen” which ran in the “Vossische Zeitung” of Berlin, March 12
and 13, 1916._
* * *
A GOOD LISTENER
William Macdonald, an invalid living in Chula Vista, California, has
heard 605 broadcasting stations scattered over the world during the
last 3 years. He logged 490 United States stations in every state
except South Carolina, and 115 stations outside the country.
* * *
THE PENITENT EYE
An eye that misbehaved caused its owner, Herr Heinrich Laufer, to shut
it up for ninety days.
It seems that Herr Laufer spied on the wife of his friend and landlord,
and then, stricken by his conscience, he confessed his advantage and
begged forgiveness. Friend husband was irate and threatened Herr Laufer
with a jail sentence for “Ehebruch,” but a priest intervened and the
matter was amicably settled when the bizarre penance was imposed upon
Herr Laufer. The husband kept careful watch over Laufer during the
three months.
_Ref.: “Duesseldorfer Nachrichten.”_
* * *
THE LAST NOD OF HOMER
This is the riddle that caused the death of Homer in his vain attempt
to solve it--as recorded by Plutarch:
“_What we caught
We threw away....
What we could not catch
We kept._”
Answer: Fleas.
* * *
FARE ENOUGH
Several years ago Mrs. Frank Scott, of Laporte, Ind., got on a street
car with her 13 children and offered the conductor a nickel.
“Pardon, Madame,” the conductor said, “but we can’t carry a whole
Sunday school class for one fare.”
“And why not. They are my children and they are all under five years of
age,” she replied.
Then to settle the argument she produced the family Bible from the
luggage and proved to the astounded street car man that none of the
thirteen children was over five years of age. Abel and Abner, the
youngest, were six months old, and Ashbel, Archer, and Austin, the
oldest of the lot, were only four and one-half years of age.
The Laportes had three sets of triplets and two pairs of twins in less
than five years!
Fair enough, don’t you think so?
* * *
WHAT IS SO RARE AS THIS DAY IN JUNE?
Jan III. Sobieski, King of Poland in the 17th century, was born,
crowned, married, and died--each time on the same date of the
year--June 17.
* * *
[Illustration:
JOHN
G.
ANDERSON
HAS WON
600
GOLF
PRIZES
Winged
Foot
Golf Club.
HERR
HEINRICH
LAUFER
--of DUESSELDORF,
KEPT ONE EYE CLOSED
FOR 90 DAYS
--as a penance for peeping.
THE SMALLEST CHURCH IN THE WORLD
--near Latonia, Kentucky--ONLY SEATS 3 PEOPLE
JAY BRUCE
California’s official lion hunter
HAS KILLED 284 LIONS
MRS. WM. BURNHAM
of Topsfield, Mass.
OWNS A CAT THAT IS
24
YEARS
OLD]
* * *
THE LOUDEST NOISE EVER HEARD
The loudest noise ever heard was on August 27, 1883, when the volcano
of Pik Perbuatan, on the Island of Krakatua, exploded in the most
violent eruption within historic times, killing 35,147 people. The
Island (which lies in the Straits of Sunda between Java and Sumatra)
was about three by five miles in size before the eruption but only a
small portion now remains.
Four cubic miles of material were blown miles into the air and a dust
cloud subsequently spread completely around the world and colored
sunsets in distant parts of the globe for three years afterwards. The
sound was heard on the Island of Rodriquez, in the Pacific Ocean--3,000
miles away.
THE EARTH MOVES IN THREE DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AT THE SAME TIME
1. It rotates upon its own axis with a speed of about 500 yards per
second diminishing from the center towards the Poles.
2. It revolves around the sun with a speed of about 19 miles a second.
3. It participates in the sun’s own forward motion in the direction of
the fixed star, Vega, in the constellation of Lyra, with a speed of 12
miles per second.
All simultaneously.
A fourth movement in which the earth probably participates is that of
the sun’s own rotation upon its axis which is accomplished once every
25 days.
A fifth movement--that of the whole stellar system upon its axis--is
possible--but doubtful.
* * *
“THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE” WAS _NOT_ HOLY, OR ROMAN, OR AN EMPIRE
It was not holy because it was secular; it was not Roman because it was
German; and it was not an empire because its nominal heads--the German
kings--ruled in name only.
This Confederation of German States--for that it really was--lasted
from Otto I, crowned in 962, to Francis II in 1806.
* * *
PA’S A SAP
The eternal and paternal palindrome. This line reads the same backward
as forward. Pa’s a sap either way you look at him.
* * *
[Illustration:
A
LUZONESE
DANCED 172 HOURS
WITHOUT STOPPING
JAPANESE PLUM TREE
500 YEARS OLD IS ONLY 3 FEET HIGH
[signature] OSAKA]
* * *
THE BLESSED ISLES
Everywhere in the civilized world except the Channel Islands death and
taxes are two absolute certainties of mundane existence. In the islands
of Guernsey and Jersey, however, there is much doubt about taxes.
King George V cannot impose a single penny per pound on the income of
his loyal subjects in these islands unless they waive their ancient
privilege.
In fact, no act of Parliament is binding to them until transmitted by
order of the King’s Privy Council and duly registered there.
* * *
THE BOOZING BISHOP
Johann Fugger, an Italian Bishop, died and willed that--
“... A barrel of wine might be annually upset upon his grave so that
his body might still sop in that delicious fluid.”
He bequeathed a large sum of money to the city of Montefiascone for the
maintenance of his purpose.
_Ref.: “Central Cities of Italy,” by Hare._
* * *
THE ONE-ARMED PAPER HANGER
Yes, there is one. Albert J. Smith, of Dedham, Mass., has but one arm
and he is a paper hanger by trade. And he has had the hives too.
* * *
“Bobby” Leach, who went over Niagara Falls in a barrel in 1911, died
from injuries received when he slipped on a banana peel while walking
quietly along the street in Christchurch, New Zealand, on April 29,
1927.
* * *
THE RIVER THAT RUNS BACKWARDS
The River Tadjoura, on the northeast coast of Africa, flows from the
Bay of Tadjoura inland and empties into the Lake of Assal.
* * *
A SQUARE EGG
A chicken owned by James Cook, of New Bedford, Mass. laid a perfectly
square egg.
* * *
[Illustration:
NOMAD
OCANA
MADAM
ANACO
DAMON
AN AMERICAN
PALINDROME--by
Doc Applegate
Ogallala, Neb.
THERE IS A
NEWSPAPER
PUBLISHED FOR
BEGGARS
IN PARIS
WALTER
HAGEN
PLAYED 18 HOLES
IN 59 STROKES
Zurich
May 23, 1928
HIROHITO
OF JAPAN
IS THE 124^{th} EMPEROR
OF THE SAME FAMILY!
THE JAPANESE ROYAL FAMILY IS THE OLDEST
FAMILY IN THE WORLD--AND HAS
MAINTAINED AN UNBROKEN LINE FROM
JIMMU TENNO--2588 YRS AGO]
* * *
THE WORLD’S WORST THUG
Buhram, who gleefully murdered 931 men, was a member of the Thuggee
sect--a gang of professional murderers who flourished in India in
1830 before the English suppressed them. The Thugs were worshippers
of Bhowanee; and to this god they sacrificed anybody that came handy;
but they were careful to keep the dead man’s things themselves as they
believed the god cared only for the corpse. Men were initiated into
this sect with solemn ceremonies. Then they were taught how to strangle
a person with the sacred choke-cloth, but were not allowed to perform
officially with it until after long practice. It required practice to
choke a man expertly. Then the job was done instantaneously; the cloth
was whipped around the victim’s neck, there was a sudden twist, and the
head fell silently forward, the eyes starting from the sockets; and all
was over.
Mark Twain tells of Thuggee in “Following the Equator.”
* * *
Robert (Lefty) Grove, the star pitcher of Connie Mack’s Athletics is
generally considered to be the best pitcher in baseball today. He
has tremendous speed and a great curve which has always caused his
opponents to swing aimlessly.
He recently struck out 5 men with 16 pitched balls: there were no fouls.
The record depicted opposite was made while he was a member of the
Baltimore club, about 5 years ago.
* * *
HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS!
A letter addressed to “GOD” was forwarded to Rome from Liptau, Germany,
in 1926. It was returned to the sender marked “Addressee Unknown.”
* * *
SOLVING THE SERVANT PROBLEM
Countess Elizabeth Bathory, the famous Hungarian “tigress” (1560-1614),
killed 650 servant girls in 6 years. Being a noble woman she was immune
from punishment.
* * *
[Illustration:
THE WORLD’S WORST THUG
BUHRAM--MURDERED 931 MEN IN 40 YEARS!
[signature]
Drawn in India
LEFTY GROVES
of Baltimore
STRUCK OUT 68 MEN
IN 45 INNINGS
1923
Miss
LUCILLE NOONAN
San Francisco telephone operator
HAS MEMORIZED 2000 NUMBERS
A TOAD HOPPED 75 MILES IN 5 DAYS
from Wakefield to Old Center, Mass. June, 1923
OWNED BY FREDERICK SIDNEY.]
* * *
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN NOSE
Tycho Brahe, the Danish astronomer, lost his nose in a duel with
Passberg and adopted a golden one, which he attached to his face by
a cement which he carried about with him. That nose is distinctly
discernible in all of his portraits.
_I refer you to Marryat: Jutland and the Danish Isles p. 305 (“that
eminent man who had a golden nose, Tycho Brahe”)._
* * *
AN EMPRESS’S AGILE EARS
The Empress Marie Louise’s ability to move her ears at will and to
turn them inside out, is reported in the Mémoires of M. H. d’Alméras,
Chamberlain to the French Court. Madame la Duchesse d’Abrantès, one of
the Empress’s ladies-in-waiting, also wrote of it.
They add that this was one of the great distractions at the Court of
Napoleon III, and that the Emperor himself would hasten to the Salon
whenever the Empress could be induced to perform.
* * *
FRIDAY UNLUCKY?
Friday is the luckiest day in American history.
Friday, Aug. 3, 1492--Columbus sailed for America.
Friday, Oct. 12, 1492--Columbus discovered America.
Friday, Nov. 22, 1493--Columbus landed here again.
Friday, June 12, 1494--Mainland of South America discovered.
Friday, Mar. 5, 1496--Henry VIII. commissioned Cabot which resulted
in the discovery of North America.
Friday, Sept. 7, 1565--Mendez founded St. Augustine, Florida, the
oldest city in the U. S.
Friday, Nov. 10, 1620--Pilgrim Fathers landed in harbor of
Provincetown.
Friday, Feb. 22, 1732--George Washington born.
Friday, Oct. 17, 1777--Burgoyne surrendered at Saratoga.
Friday, Sept. 19, 1781--Cornwallis surrendered at Yorktown.
* * *
Shakespeare’s daughter could not read or write.
* * *
Madame de Maintenon, morganatic wife of Louis XIV., had herself bled
regularly twice a week, in order not to blush at the stories told at
Court.
[Illustration:
TOM WEDDERS, of Yorkshire
HAD A NOSE
7¹⁄₂ IN
LONG
400 WORDS
IN ENGLISH
BEGIN WITH
“SN”
APPLY TO THE NOSE
--and its activities--
SNOUT
SNIFF
SNEEZE
SNORE
SNICKER
SNEER
SNUB
SNOOT
SNO
SNI
SN
S
The Empress
MARIE LOUISE
COULD FOLD HER EARS
AT WILL--AND ALSO
TURN THEM INSIDE OUT!
[signature]
A TELEGRAM WAS
SENT AROUND THE WORLD
IN 8 MINUTES.
1917
TERRY M^cGOVERN
WON THE BANTAM AND FEATHERWEIGHT
CHAMPIONSHIPS AND KNOCKED OUT THE
LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION--AND WAS THROUGH AT 21.
ONE PAIR
OF SHOES FOR BOTH!
FATHER AND SON ARE BOTH
NAMED ALBERT FARLER
--BOTH LOST A LEG
AND BOTH WEAR THE
SAME SIZE SHOE.
Kildonan, Man., Canada]
* * *
FIRE WATER
It actually happened.
Fables about breath catching fire became a fact in Lodz, Russia.
After drinking a quantity of vodka, a workman named Stobb tried to blow
out a match with which he was lighting a cigarette with fatal result.
Flames shot from his mouth and an explosion followed, Stobb falling to
the floor unconscious and dying shortly afterward.
* * *
“My Dear Mr. Ripley:
Here is a little article good for your column. There is a fellow I
know whose first name starts with “A” and his last with “Z.” His name
is Alfred Zimbalist, and he lives on “A” Ave., St. John., Apt. “A” A
31, and his phone number extension is A31.
He eats Apples and Asparagus every day, and loves the smell of Zinc.
It’s very peculiar but, believe it or not, that’s the truth.
Respectfully,
Sydney Retchetk,
321 W. 44th St., New York.”
* * *
THE CHEESE CHAMPION
Zoroaster, the famous Persian lawgiver and founder of the religion of
the Parsees, lived on nothing but cheese for thirty years.
* * *
WHOOPEE
The Mayor of Grand Lemps, France, issued an ordinance that any
inhabitant may enter a saloon and drink his fill and then leave without
paying. He was a prohibitionist.
_Ref.: “Bibliothèque Historique,” 1818, vol. 1, page 317._
* * *
A RECORD TO BE SNEEZED AT
James Lanvier, of Edinburgh, sneezed 690 times in succession. 1927.
* * *
[Illustration]
THE FIJI FIRE-WALKERS
“Vilavilairevo,” the annual fire-walking ceremony of the Fiji-Islanders
during which the natives walk and dance with bare feet on white-hot
rocks without burning themselves, has long puzzled travelers.
Apparently the Fijians are immune to pain. They walk nimbly over the
glowing rocks without so much as a blister.
First, a circular shallow pit about thirty feet across is dug and
filled with dry branches and fire wood. A torch is applied and then
the stones are rolled in on the blazing pit and allowed to heat for
half a day. Green leaves are next scattered over the white-hot stones
causing clouds of steam to rise in dramatic fashion and the dance of
the fire-walkers begins.
Ah--there are tricks to all trades; even fire-walking! I have the
Fijian secret. Sh-h-h! The stones are of volcanic origin and so porous
that they do not retain the heat although they appear to be white-hot;
and the heavy green leaves protect the feet of the dancers.
* * *
THE $4,412,000-A-YEAR-MAN
The largest salary ever received by any one man was that drawn down by
the late Franz Josef I, Emperor of Austria. It amounted to $4,412,000
or 22,060,000 Kronen annually. This was strictly a salary and must not
be confused with his income from other sources.
During his lifetime, Franz Josef drew $274,600,000 from the Austrian
state. This amounts to more than 25 times the total salary of all the
Presidents of the United States combined.
* * *
THE $2,000,000 COMMA
A clerk in Congress, instead of writing
“All foreign fruit-plants are free from duty,”
wrote
“All foreign fruit, plants are free from duty.”
It was impossible to change this mistake until a new session of
Congress met.
* * *
MAMMY!
On December 2, 1927, little Marie Finster jumped from the roof of a
building in Vienna and was saved from death by falling into the arms of
her mother who happened to be passing along the street below at that
very minute.
--_Vienna Tageblatt._
* * *
THE LAST WILL OF RABELAIS
“I have nothing. I owe much. The rest I leave to the poor.”
Transcriber’s Notes
Misspellings and inconsistent, unusual and archaic spelling (also in
botanical, zoological and proper names and in other languages than
English) have not been changed, except as mentioned below. Not all
of the calculations given are correct as given; these have not been
corrected unless given below.
The differences between the Table of Contents and the chapter and
section headings have not been rectified.
Depending on the hard- and software used to read this e-text and on
their settings, not all elements may display as intended. Extremely
long words and names in particular may cause display issues.
Page 91: the line under London on the envelope (This letter was
delivered 64 yrs. late) is illegible in the source document.
Pages 108 and 115: the largest known prime number is given as 2¹¹⁷ -
1 (illustration on page 108) and as 2¹²⁷ - 1 (text on page 115); the
actual prime numbers differ between the two versions as well.
Page 114, ...as indicated by a figure of 2,000,0001 digits: the final
digit is probably erroneous.
Page 145, ...a statuary fine of $75...: possibly an error for ...a
statutory fine of $75....
Page 158, paragraph starting “Barney” is 43 years old...: there is a
quote mark missing or in excess.
Page 169: 400 WORDS IN ENGLISH...: the words following SNOOT (and the
list itself) are incomplete because they are hidden behind the next
illustration.
Changes made
In some places a line of stars has been inserted where it was lacking
in the source document to clarify the transition from one subject to
the next.
Page 9: (See page 35.) changed to (See page 95.)
Page 72, paragraph starting Bismarck always spoke...: the long words
have been hyphenated and wrapped rather than kept as single words as
they were in the source document.
Page 76: paragraph starting Lepado-temacho-... has been wrapped
rather than kept on a single line.
Page 83: Qu’est ce que ça? changed to Qu’est-ce que ça?
Page 86: ...oesters that grew on trees; crabs that climbs their
branches...fish that wor a coat of mail... changed to ...oysters that
grew on trees; crabs that climb their branches...fish that wore a
coat of mail....
Page 96: ... and the Courrier Medical of France changed to ... and
the Courrier Médical of France.
Page 99: Liu Ch’ung, or Liu Min,... changed to Liu Ch‘ung, or Liu
Min,... as in illustration.
Page 113: CAN YOU CHANGE FIVE DOLLARS! changed to CAN YOU CHANGE FIVE
DOLLARS?
Page 123: closing quote mark inserted after ...that his opinion was
wrong.
Page 132: Gazette Medicale de Paris changed to Gazette Médicale de
Paris.
Page 172: The largest salary every received... changed to The largest
salary ever received....